Is It Wrong to Expect Equal Treatment in a Relationship?

Some people don’t recognize a favor, and this boyfriend is living proof. A 28-year-old woman is dating a guy who earns less than her, sure, but the gap is not dramatic, and the vibe she gets is not “we’re budgeting,” it’s “you’re paying for your own life.”

For seven months, he hasn’t taken her out to dinner. If she suggests a restaurant, he makes a joking “are u paying?” comment. Even Christmas gifts come with a budget conversation, and when she asks him to consider her preferences, he hits her with the line that she expects too much, like princess treatment every day is unreasonable.

And the part that really stings is she’s already doing plenty, planning trips, paying for hotels, and covering the mental load, while he barely helps with cleaning.

Original Post

My boyfriend makes less money than me which is fine whatever, but it’s not an extreme wage gap like we both have corporate jobs. But I’m also in school and pay all my own bills, so like I have expenses just as he does.

If I want to go eat somewhere and recommend a spot he will make a “joking comment” saying “are u paying?” And he has never taken me out to dinner the 7 months we’ve been together. He only takes me out to eat at dive bars or places he likes and he is well aware of my aesthetic and things that I like.

I’ve asked him to take this into consideration and he kinda failed. It just feels like he is sooo stingy, and even on Christmas gifts he wanted to put a budget on it so we didn’t out buy one another.

He made comments to me before saying that I expect too much and he cannot give me princess treatment everyday - kinda acting like that was a big ask. And I’m just a bit confused because I guess I always wanted princess treatment from a boyfriend.

I don’t even want to go anywhere anymore with him bc I feel like it’s just going to be his vibe. And he just asks me to be patient with him bc he thinks he will be the CEO one day and have money to spend but idk.

When he has money will he still be stingy? I dont get it.

PSA I do buy him plenty of things such as clothes, stuff he needs for the house, and I pay on dates too. I’ve planned weekend trips and paid for the hotel and we went 50/50 on food.

I also take on a mental load of doing all the planning. And he barely helps around the house/ cleaning up - that’s usually left to me.

& we both earn ~100k.

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And speaking of holiday fights, a sister’s wedding priorities put a family Christmas tradition in jeopardy.

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When he jokes “are u paying?” at the exact moment she’s trying to eat somewhere nice, the relationship suddenly feels like a receipt waiting to happen.

The Christmas gift budget and the “you expect too much” speech turn every date into a negotiation instead of a date.

Meanwhile, she’s paying for weekend hotels, splitting food 50-50, and carrying the planning and house cleanup, so the “stingy” label starts to sound less dramatic and more accurate.

Even his promise that he’ll be the CEO one day raises the question, will he keep the same penny-pinching energy after he finally has money?

Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section.

If he’s this stingy at 100k each, he’s not suddenly going to become her prince after the CEO fantasy pays off.

Wait, it gets worse, read about a parent confronting a sister-in-law who disciplined their child without permission.