Is it Wrong to Keep My Partners Ex Away from Our Child?

A 28-year-old mom is already juggling the chaos of a brand-new baby, and then her partner’s ex shows up in the picture like she never left. It’s not a cute, “co-parenting is so mature” situation either. This ex is reaching out wanting access to their child, and the breakup history was messy.

Her partner, 30, thinks it’s important their baby knows “all family members,” even though his ex, 27, has no kids with him. Meanwhile, the post’s author is stuck feeling jealous, uneasy, and worried about what this contact really means for their newborn and their home dynamic.

Now it’s a full-on family tension brewing, and she’s wondering if she’s wrong for drawing a hard line.

Original Post

I (28F) have been in a relationship with my partner (30M) for three years. We recently had a baby together, and I've been navigating the challenges of motherhood.

Here's where things get complicated: my partner's ex (27F) has been reaching out, expressing a desire to be involved in our child's life. They share no children together, and their relationship ended on tumultuous terms.

My partner is open to the idea, believing it's important for our child to know all their family members. However, the thought of his ex being around our newborn makes me uncomfortable and brings up feelings of jealousy and insecurity.

I worry about her intentions and the impact on our family dynamics. I've expressed my concerns to my partner, but he thinks I'm overreacting and being unfair.

Am I the a*****e for not wanting his ex to be part of our child's life, even if it's important to my partner?

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It also echoes the woman who told her partner’s family about their relationship problems without permission.

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The moment the ex starts messaging, the OP’s newborn becomes the battleground, not just a baby story.

Her partner’s “our child should know everyone” mindset clashes hard with her real fear that this will blow up their routine.

And with the ex’s relationship ending on tumultuous terms, every “I just want to be involved” message feels loaded.

When he brushes her concerns off as overreacting, the argument shifts from boundaries to who gets to decide what happens next.

Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section.

The real question is whether this ex becomes family by choice, or by force.

Wondering if confronting your partner’s ex for interference is crossing a line? Read this AITA about confronting the ex who kept interfering.