Karen Mistakes A Random Guy For A Store Employee And He Has Some Fun With It

Some people can turn a simple errand into a full-blown scene, and this supermarket story is a perfect example. A man just wanted birthday candles, but a rude shopper mistook him for staff and kept pushing harder when his answers did not go the way she expected.

What makes it so entertaining is how calmly he plays along, using deadpan honesty while the woman spirals into manager-demanding chaos. By the time security gets involved, the whole exchange has gone from awkward to ridiculous.

It is the kind of petty public meltdown that somehow gets funnier the longer it goes on. Read on.

The story was posted by Reddit user u/Wiggle_it_loose

They captioned the story, "Douchebagette didn't like my answers to her questions even though I was relentlessly honest."

A "Douchebagette" is, I assume, a fun way to refer to someone as a Karen.

They start by setting the scene and explaining that they have a "retail face"

"I'm telling you about one event, but I must have a 'retail' face because I'm approached so often. I wear a suit at work. When I stop by any shop on the way home, I leave my jacket in the car, so I'm just wearing a shirt and tie. I couldn't tell you how many times people assume I am staff.If they're civil, I'm civil.If they're struggling, I'm helpful.If they're rude, I have fun.The reason I remember this one is that I've said all of these things separately before, but this was the first time I got them all squeezed into one single interaction. It just went so perfectly. It will never happen again."

Ah, the Douchebagette/Karen appears

"I had called into a large supermarket to pick up birthday candles.I first saw the woman being very rude to another customer for no apparent reason. Imagine Rush Limbaugh in drag. Sorry to put that image in your head. She was just impatient, and the other customer wasn't moving fast enough for her liking, so she was insulting her. She definitely ranked above 'asshole,' so let's call her Douchebagette or DB for short.As she turned, I saw the 'missile lock' in her eyes as she spotted me. She galumphed her way over. I decided to enjoy it and settled on being deadpan literal as a plan. I looked away."

The conversation begins...

"DB: Excuse me!!Me: Why, what have you done?DB: What?!She paused for a second, looking like a dog that had been shown a card trick. Then she angrily asked:DB: Can you help me?Me: I couldn't possibly know. I don't know what you want.She makes a Tucker Carlson face.DB: Where do you keep your eyelash curlers?Me: I don't keep them anywhere.DB: Yes, you do. I've seen them before.Me: I'm certain I don't. I've never owned any. My eyelashes manage to bend all on their own. I'm more than happy with the bendiness of my eyelashes.DB: Huh? What? No, idiot, I mean the shop. Where in the shop are the eyelash curlers?"

This office lunch theft feud, where reporting a stolen sandwich turned into workplace drama, is peak “messy honesty.”

WHERE ARE THEY, HUH?

"Me: I haven't got a clue.DB: Why not?Me: I refer you to my previous answer. I never use them.DB: Aargh! Are you trying to be stupid?Me: No, it's effortless.DB: This is insane! Are you going to find out where the eyelash curlers are, or would you prefer that I speak to your manager?Me: I'd say neither, but if I had to choose, I'd go for option (b).DB: What?? You want me to speak to your manager?Me: No.She shakes her head in angry confusion and says:DB: You just said you did.Me: No, I didn't. You asked me which I'd prefer. If I were offered a rectal exam or a slap in the face, I wouldn't want either, but I'd prefer the second to the first. See how it works? (This is a phrase I use with my wife when she gives me terrible alternatives.)She stood in silence for a few seconds with her mouth open and the deepest frown. She then built up to a shout with:"

Unsurprisingly, Karen asks for a manager.

"DB: This is RIDICULOUS!!!Me: I completely agree.DB: WHERE is your manager?Me: I'm not exactly sure, but my guess would be at home with his family.DB: AAARGH! You're being STUPID! Who supervises YOU here in this store RIGHT NOW?She actually stamped her foot twice when she shouted "right now."Me: Nobody.DB: What? Why not?Me: Because I don't need to be supervised. I haven't needed supervision in a shop since I was about nine years old.DB: OH MY GOD, IT'S LIKE TALKING TO A WALL!!I could see that her shouting had attracted a member of management. She was approaching quickly."

Enter: the manager.

"DB: Why aren't you HELPING ME!!!Me: Why would I?I think I saw a slight hint of understanding spread across her puzzled face.DB: You do WORK HERE, don't you?Me: No.DB: WHY DIDN'T YOU FUCKING SAY SO?!Me: You didn't ask me. Until now.The manager arrived just as Douchebagette shouted into my face:DB: YOU'RE A FUCKING MORON!!!Manager to DB: Madam, please lower your voice and stop swearing. There are children in the store.Manager to me: What's happening, Sir?Me: I'm not really sure. This woman was being rude to another customer, then she approached me and started to interrogate me about my personal grooming habits. She wasn't happy with my answers and started to shout at me."

All OP wanted were some candles...

"DB: NO, THAT'S NOT FUCKING TRUE. I WAS SHOUTING BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE WORKED HERE!Manager: Whether he was an employee or not, you can't talk like that. You can't abuse customers, and we have a strict policy about abuse towards staff. We don't tolerate it.DB: IT'S NOT MY FAULT. HE'S A FUCKING IDIOT. IF HE HAD ......She was interrupted by the manager.Manager: Please. Stop. Shouting!The manager pressed transmit on her radio and said:Manager: Security, urgent, code 4, aisle 14.Manager to me: Are you OK, Sir?Me: Yes, I'm fine. I just needed birthday candles. Could you tell me where they are?DB: WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS GOI....Manager to DB: Stop. Shouting. Stop. Swearing. If I have to warn you again, you will have to leave the store.Manager to me: They're on aisle 22.Me: OK. Thank you.I started to walk away. Meanwhile, DB was still shouting. Two security staff turned the corner and passed me on their way to DB."

And the grand finale...

"I could hear her shouting for another 30 seconds. The next time I saw DB, I was standing at the self-checkout. She was being followed out of the store by the security staff. She was complaining into her phone, loudly but unclearly, about the shop, the staff, and "some fucking moron" as she left empty-handed. Do you think that moron was me?I was wishing so hard for her to look left and see me, but she didn't. If she had shouted at me, regardless of what she said, I was going to raise my little box of candles and say, "Yes, thanks, I found them."The whole thing was so funny. I almost broke and nearly started laughing when she stamped her foot in time with "right now."I've been mistaken for staff dozens of times, but I've never had it go so perfectly. I probably never will. Don't expect a sequel."

For more petty pressure gone wrong, see how a neighbor demanded a secret recipe after “no.”