Love Triangle Dilemma: Should I Set Up My Friend with My Crush?

Some friendship advice sounds simple until you’re the one standing in the middle of it, watching your own crush and your best friend’s crush orbit the same guy. In this Reddit post, OP (27F) is stuck in a love triangle that feels less like a movie and more like a slow-motion disaster.

Her friend Sarah has had a long-running crush on Matt, and she even confided those feelings. OP tried to be supportive, but then she met Matt and the connection hit her back. Now the two women are both emotionally invested, and OP can sense Matt might be interested in her too, which makes “setting them up” feel like either a sweet gesture or a betrayal.

Here’s the part where one small decision could blow up both friendships, and OP knows it.

Original Post

So, I'm (27F) in a really tricky situation and I need some advice. My friend, let's call her Sarah, has had this major crush on this guy, Matt, for the longest time.

But here's the catch - I also have a huge crush on Matt. Now, Sarah confided in me about her feelings for Matt, and I tried to be supportive, but the more I got to know him, the more I realized that I have developed feelings for him too.

For background, Sarah has been through a lot in her past relationships, and I always try to be there for her. But with Matt, there's this undeniable connection, and I can't shake off my feelings no matter how hard I try.

We all h**g out together, and I can sense that there might be a mutual interest between Matt and me. I'm torn between being a good friend to Sarah and pursuing my own happiness.

Would I be the a*****e if I set up Matt and Sarah knowing that I also have feelings for him? I really don't want to hurt Sarah, but I can't help how I feel.

What should I do? So, AITA for potentially creating a messy love triangle?

Balancing Friendship and Romance

This situation really highlights the tension between friendship loyalty and personal desire. The OP is torn between wanting to support her friend Sarah and pursuing her own feelings for Matt. It’s a classic love triangle setup that can leave everyone feeling hurt. What complicates matters is the notion of whether setting up Sarah with Matt is an act of friendship or betrayal. If it doesn’t work out, the fallout could damage both relationships.

It’s fascinating how the community reacted, with some urging the OP to prioritize her feelings, while others emphasized the importance of loyalty to her friend. This debate reflects a larger issue in relationships: can you truly have it all without someone getting hurt? The emotional stakes are high, and navigating them requires more than just good intentions.

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OP isn’t just crushing on Matt in silence, she’s also been Sarah’s emotional support system while Sarah waits on the same guy.

The tension spikes when OP starts noticing “mutual interest” between Matt and her, right while Sarah is still openly carrying feelings for him.

It’s like the friend who kept asking for money, and the OP had to say no instead.

The Stakes of Emotional Transparency

The OP's internal conflict resonates deeply because it taps into the fear of vulnerability in friendships. By contemplating setting up Sarah with Matt, she risks opening a Pandora's box of emotions that could lead to jealousy, resentment, or even loss of the friendship altogether. The dilemma showcases a moral gray area where good intentions might not be enough to protect feelings.

The Reddit community’s responses reflect a mix of empathy and caution, with some warning against sacrificing one relationship for another. In a world where love can often feel finite, the stakes here are amplified. The OP has to consider not just her feelings for Matt, but also the long-term implications for her friendship with Sarah. It’s a delicate dance that many can relate to, and that makes this story all the more compelling.

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That’s when the whole question turns into a moral trap, because “helping” Sarah could also be the exact move that hurts her.

And every time OP tries to balance loyalty to Sarah with her own feelings for Matt, it feels like she’s setting the table for a messy fallout.

What are your thoughts on this situation? Share your perspective in the comments below.

This love triangle dilemma raises important questions about the nature of friendship and the complexities of romantic feelings. Readers might find themselves asking: how do you balance your own desires with the loyalty you owe to your friends? As relationships evolve, so do the challenges that come with them. What would you do in the OP's shoes?

What It Comes Down To

The Reddit user's struggle reflects a common tension in friendships where romantic feelings overlap. While her loyalty to Sarah is commendable, the undeniable connection she feels with Matt complicates her intentions. This situation highlights the emotional stakes involved; choosing to set up Sarah and Matt could lead to unintended heartbreak for all parties, as she risks damaging her friendship while pursuing her own happiness. It’s a delicate balance that many can relate to, tapping into the often messy entanglements of love and loyalty.

OP might not be trying to start drama, but she could still end up with two broken hearts and one awkward group hangout.

For another messy relationship boundary, read why this Redditor refused step-siblings’ space in the family home.