Controlling Mom Takes 29-Year-Old Daughter's $5K Gaming Consoles During Her Absence, Suspecting an Addiction

"Right, because being an unrepentant thief is so much better than being a gamer."

A 55-year-old mom is about to face an expensive lawsuit if she continues to bury her head in the sand. OP's 29-year-old daughter, Alex, temporarily moved back home while she and her boyfriend were apartment hunting.

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Alex diligently pays rent and her portion of the bills while she's home. She turned their dining room into a home office since she couldn't fit a desk in her bedroom.

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She also brought all of her consoles and gaming laptop when she moved in. OP noticed that Alex spent a lot of time gaming during her work hours and asked her about it.

Alex told OP that she only games when there's a lull at work. It also helps her manage her stress levels.

OP still thinks it's a problem. She finds it annoying when Alex takes too long to come to the dining room for dinner because she's preoccupied with her games.

Her daughter argued that being a little late shouldn't matter since the food isn't done anyway. Her reasoning only compounds OP's annoyance.

OP saw a window of opportunity to solve a presumed problem when Alex was out on a date with her boyfriend. She grabbed Alex's consoles, gaming laptop, and games.

She brought them to her other daughter, who didn't have enough money to buy those things for her child. Alex got home before OP and immediately noticed her missing tech.

Her boyfriend was consoling her when OP got home

Her boyfriend was consoling her when OP got homeu/Top_Owl6017
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Alex said she believed they had been burglarized because her consoles were missing when OP asked what was wrong

Alex said she believed they had been burglarized because her consoles were missing when OP asked what was wrongu/Top_Owl6017
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OP fessed up to what she did as if she had done her daughter a favor. She told Alex she has a gaming addiction.

OP fessed up to what she did as if she had done her daughter a favor. She told Alex she has a gaming addiction.u/Top_Owl6017
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Understanding Control and Autonomy

Control dynamics often play a significant role in parent-child relationships, especially when concerns about addiction or unhealthy behaviors arise. Research shows that controlling behaviors can stem from a parent's anxiety about their child's well-being. According to studies published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology, excessive control can lead to resistance and rebellion in young adults, particularly if they perceive their autonomy as threatened.

In this case, the mother's actions may reflect her fears about her daughter's gaming habits, but they could ultimately backfire by fostering resentment and further distancing the relationship.

Alex yelled at her and threatened to sue if OP didn't return her $5,000 worth of devices and games

Alex yelled at her and threatened to sue if OP didn't return her $5,000 worth of devices and gamesu/Top_Owl6017
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OP doesn't think she did anything wrong, so Alex asked her to go on the subreddit to solicit opinions from Redditors

OP doesn't think she did anything wrong, so Alex asked her to go on the subreddit to solicit opinions from Redditorsu/Top_Owl6017
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OP is a thieving jerk no matter how you slice it

OP is a thieving jerk no matter how you slice itEndlessMorpehus7
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Understanding the underlying motivations for controlling behavior can pave the way for healthier family dynamics. It’s crucial for parents to recognize that their fears, while valid, may not warrant infringing upon their child's autonomy. Engaging in open conversations about gaming habits, setting mutual agreements on usage, and exploring the reasons for concern can facilitate understanding without alienating the child.

Research emphasizes that collaborative approaches tend to yield better outcomes than authoritative control, fostering a sense of mutual respect and understanding.

The number of upvotes determines just how big of an a**hole OP was when she continued to defend her misguided actions

The number of upvotes determines just how big of an a**hole OP was when she continued to defend her misguided actionsTop_Owl6017, I-Like-Mushies
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I lost all hope when OP belittled Alex's mental health

I lost all hope when OP belittled Alex's mental healthDavidANaida
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She really needs to get her head out of her a** if she doesn't want to be a felon

She really needs to get her head out of her a** if she doesn't want to be a felonSlabBeefpunch
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The Impact of Autonomy on Young Adults

Autonomy is a critical developmental need for young adults, contributing to their identity formation and self-esteem. A study from Developmental Psychology found that young adults who experience autonomy in their choices tend to demonstrate higher levels of life satisfaction and lower anxiety. When parents impose control, it can hinder this development, leading to potential negative consequences for mental health.

Encouraging autonomy while maintaining supportive boundaries can help young adults navigate their interests without feeling stifled. This balance is crucial for fostering independence in a healthy, constructive manner.

At some point, someone stole OP's Barbie, and she never recovered from it. Such a joyless existence.

At some point, someone stole OP's Barbie, and she never recovered from it. Such a joyless existence.Mid_Regular

I wonder if OP told her other daughter that the "gifts" she showered them with were stolen

I wonder if OP told her other daughter that the Thiccckthighs87

If OP doesn't want a relationship with Alex, there are easier ways to do it without risking a very expensive lawsuit

If OP doesn't want a relationship with Alex, there are easier ways to do it without risking a very expensive lawsuitlostalldoubt86

OP shouldn't be surprised if Alex refuses to speak to her ever again after this stunt she pulled

OP shouldn't be surprised if Alex refuses to speak to her ever again after this stunt she pulledGlimmeringRain

I shudder to think what happened to Alex's saved games at the hands of her sister's child. I do not have much hope for OP despite the number of comments she received explaining exactly what she did wrong.

She seemed so determined not to listen to anyone else's point of view. OP is truly going to lose her daughter if she doesn't accept any responsibility for what she did.

Psychological Analysis

This scenario highlights a common struggle in parent-child dynamics, particularly regarding autonomy and control. When parents act on their fears, it can unintentionally alienate their children, leading to resistance. Understanding the psychological underpinnings of this behavior can lead to more constructive conversations and healthier family relationships.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, navigating the boundaries of control and autonomy in parent-child relationships is a delicate balance. By fostering open communication and mutual respect, parents can support their children's development while addressing their concerns. Ultimately, recognizing the importance of autonomy is vital for healthy psychological growth in young adults.

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