Mom Lives High Life Using Money She Stole From Her Adult Children's Inheritance With No Remorse
She bought a new car, went on vacations, and paid off her mortgage with the money she claimed didn't exist.
Unlike his younger siblings, a 28-year-old could not take the high road after discovering that his mom stole his inheritance. The money his grandparents left was supposed to be split equally between him and his siblings.
While their grandparents were not wealthy, they worked their whole lives and saved a significant amount for him and his siblings to have stability. Shortly after their deaths five years ago, OP's mom, who was the executor of the will, claimed there were unexpected debts and expenses she had to pay off first.
OP and his siblings did not question their mom. They trusted her and were still grieving to doubt any of her claims.
Since then, OP noticed some improvements in his mom's lifestyle. She paid off her mortgage, bought a new car, and went on a few expensive vacations.
OP still didn't doubt the lifestyle upgrades and believed his mom made wise financial choices. He accidentally unraveled his mom's lies when he helped his parents clean their attic.
He found documents that showed how much money his grandparents left for him and his siblings. It was higher than the amount their mom disclosed to the three of them.
OP felt a mixture of confusion and betrayal. His mom initially fervently denied OP's accusations but eventually admitted to misallocating her parents' estate.
His mom said she only did so for their family. She wanted to ensure all her children had a stable home.
GodUssop56She even claimed the vacations were to help her deal with the grief of losing her parents.
GodUssop56The Psychology of Entitlement
Entitlement can manifest in various forms, often leading to significant relational conflicts. Research in social psychology suggests that individuals who feel entitled may have a distorted sense of reality regarding their rights and privileges.
A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology indicates that entitlement is often linked to higher levels of interpersonal conflict, as individuals may struggle to empathize with others' perspectives.
While his siblings were quick to forgive and understand their mom, OP was less inclined to do so. He has not spoken to her since finding out. However, he wondered if he overreacted to the news since his siblings' reactions were so tame compared to his.
GodUssop56
OP said he would be a homeowner by now if his mom hadn't stolen his inheritance.
SophiaBrahe, GodUssop56
Moreover, this sense of entitlement can lead to a lack of accountability for one's actions. According to Dr. Brad Bushman, a psychologist known for his work on aggression and entitlement, individuals with high entitlement often blame others for their problems, which can exacerbate relational issues.
This blame-shifting can create a toxic environment, further alienating those around them.
To make matters worse, he had been the only sibling charged rent to live in his parents' house—the house their inheritance paid for.
GodUssop56, aoife_too
OP's grandparents wouldn't have approved of what their daughter did based on their relationship with her.
SubstantialStable265, GodUssop56
Addressing Entitlement in Family Dynamics
To address entitlement within family dynamics, fostering accountability is crucial. Families should encourage discussions that promote ownership of actions and their consequences. Research shows that accountability can enhance relational satisfaction and reduce conflict, as highlighted in studies published in the Journal of Family Psychology.
Redditors advised OP to consult a lawyer to help him determine the best course of action.
No-Neighborhood-7611
What OP's mom did was deplorable. Emotionally manipulating her children into forgiving her made it worse.
g0ing_postal
Furthermore, practicing gratitude can shift the focus away from entitlement and foster appreciation for what one has. Encouraging family members to regularly express gratitude can create a more positive environment and enhance relational bonds.
Studies indicate that gratitude not only improves individual well-being but also strengthens interpersonal connections, leading to more harmonious family dynamics.
Once OP consults a lawyer, they should be able to establish a repayment plan and timeline to make OP whole.
litegasser
The issue is beyond Reddit's pay grade. Only a lawyer could help OP recover what was rightfully his.
New-Comment2668
In a short update, OP shared that he moved in temporarily with his cousins until his mom paid him back. He also decided to limit his contact with her and, potentially, his family.
OP's mom was probably aware she wouldn't receive as much as her kids from her parents' estate and decided to prioritize herself. If not for a messy attic that needed cleaning, her lies would have remained in the dark.
OP needs to be ready for the possibility of suing his mom to get his money back. It would affect his relationship with his family.
Specific_Anxiety_343
Their mom's selfishness prevented OP and his siblings from deciding how to live their lives.
Lonely_Collection389
Psychological Analysis
The behaviors observed in this scenario often stem from a sense of entitlement that can alienate family members. Recognizing the impact of these behaviors is crucial; fostering accountability and gratitude can significantly improve familial relationships. Encouraging open discussions about these issues can lead to more harmonious interactions.
Analysis generated by AI
Analysis & Alternative Approaches
In conclusion, addressing entitlement within family dynamics is essential for fostering healthier relationships. Research suggests that promoting accountability and gratitude can significantly enhance relational satisfaction. By creating a culture of appreciation and responsibility, families can navigate conflicts more effectively.
