Casual Clothes, Constant Criticism - Man Struggles with His Inlaws' Snide Jokes

A 28-year-old man is caught in a weird marriage trap, he keeps skipping his in-laws’ parties because they can’t stop making snide comments about what he wears. It started small, like casual jabs about his jeans, then turned into a pattern, and now even his wife’s side of the family treats his “casual” choices like a personal insult.

Here’s the complication, his wife thinks he’s overreacting and creating drama by avoiding the gatherings. Meanwhile, he insists his in-laws are the ones forcing the situation, with constant little digs that make him feel belittled, and he just wants her to back him up instead of calling him the problem.

Now he’s stuck between staying home and wondering if his refusal is the real issue, or if the family dinner table is the battlefield.

The OP kicks off his story...

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It's become a pattern, and their comments have started to bother the OP

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OP's wife thinks he's overreacting and causing unnecessary drama by avoiding her family

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That’s when the comments zoom in on the “comfortable pair of jeans with holes” detail, because apparently that’s the whole battleground.

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:

I can't tell if me refusing to go to parties with my wife's family is an a-hole move. I am not sure if that is too dramatic but I sort of want my wife to stick up for me and explain my absence. I think my in-laws have been the AHs forcing me into this position with the constant insults, but my wife thinks I am the AH, which is why I ask.

Let's head into the comments section and find out what other Redditors have to say about the story

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It's impossible to know some things without further context

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This Redditor wouldn't go to anything involving them

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A good host is never rude

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While OP says it’s just a party at the in-laws’ house, his wife sees it as him escalating things instead of owning his absence.

It’s a lot like the friend who took a $300 blazer, then called it an accident.

One Redditor points out that a good host is never rude, which lands right on OP’s claim that the insults are the whole reason he stops going.

The OP had this to drop in the comments...

I have a comfortable pair of jeans that I like to wear that has some holes. But is not like we are going to Sunday brunch. Just party at in-laws house. They just like to dress up

This Redditor believes OP's wife probably agrees with them

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We would have to look at the big picture sometimes

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The OP already chose to stay home

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This will be the OP's life if he stays

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And with the pressure of potentially becoming a father hanging over everything, the same pattern of snide jokes feels like it could follow him for years.

Dressing is a personal choice, and individuals should feel empowered to make decisions about their wardrobe without fear of judgment or criticism from others. OP's decision to prioritize his own emotional well-being and avoid family gatherings that make him feel belittled is understandable.

However, the situation with his wife and her family is far from resolved. The added pressure of potentially becoming a father has only intensified the issue.

Redditors declared the OP not the AH, and that's where we draw the curtains.

He’s not just skipping parties, he’s wondering if this is how his whole life with his wife’s family is going to look.

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