Redditor's Parents Call Her The ***Hole For Not Paying Their Mortgage, Saying She Deserved Her Upbringing
"After realizing I can easily afford to pay off their debts/mortgage, my parents have been begging me (literal tears) to save their home, but I refused."
A 28-year-old woman refused to pay her parents’ mortgage, and suddenly her childhood got dragged into the conversation like it was a bill she should have been settling all along. Her parents didn’t just ask, they accused her, calling her a “hole” for not taking on their finances.
Here’s what makes it extra nasty: OP says she was treated unfairly growing up. While her male siblings got more leeway, she was the one expected to carry the emotional and financial weight later. So when her parents came back around demanding mortgage support, it didn’t feel like family help, it felt like payback for an upbringing she never agreed to.
And once the mortgage talk turned into name-calling, the whole family dynamic blew up.
1. OP was treated unfairly as a child compared to her male siblings.
Reddit/u/Broad-Basis67992. This is the part where her parents tried to
Reddit/u/Broad-Basis67993. NTA. No one should validate their own mistreatments.
Reddit/Thin_Difference8686
The call for financial support from parents in this scenario reveals underlying issues of dependency and entitlement. The article illustrates how the expectation for a daughter to assist with mortgage payments can create significant tension, particularly when there is a misalignment in expectations. The Redditor's reluctance to pay her parents' mortgage is rooted in her feelings of resentment stemming from an abusive upbringing. This dynamic highlights the struggle many face when they feel obligated to support parents who have not provided a nurturing environment. Such financial demands can strain relationships and amplify existing conflicts, especially when a child grapples with the emotional scars of a troubled childhood.
4. "Scapegoats exist to take from."
Reddit/ UsernameTaken93456
5. I feel bad for her.
Reddit/ Broad- Basis6799
6. "Don't let yourself be used."
Reddit/ chaotine
That’s when her parents started labeling her the “hole,” like refusing a mortgage payment erases years of being treated worse than her brothers.
Research suggests that financial disputes can significantly impact familial relationships. A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology found that financial strain often leads to increased stress and conflict within families, which can perpetuate cycles of resentment and mistrust.
7. You literally owe them nothing.
Reddit/ HoxtonLover
8. Her parents are definitely the ***hole.
Reddit/ lizfour
9. Yeah? I bet the precious brothers are still dependent on them, lol.
Reddit/ llamasfartlveheardit
The moment OP explained she resented them for how she was raised, the argument stopped being about money and turned into a fight about who “deserved” what.
Perceived injustices regarding upbringing and support can lead to significant emotional turmoil.
Understanding these dynamics is crucial for navigating familial expectations and obligations effectively.
Money pressure gets ugly in the same way as in this AITA where parents promised to repay a loan, then refused.
10. They must have thought you'd repay the money they spent on raising you.
Reddit/ Thrwwy747
11. "You reap what you sow."
Reddit/ dazed1984
12. "Why would you support people who abused you and are only contacting you to get money from you?"
Reddit/ Jujulabee
Redditors clocked the pattern fast, with comments like “scapegoats exist to take from,” pointing straight at her parents’ entitlement.
Open discussions regarding financial responsibilities can serve as a practical solution for alleviating tension. Techniques from financial therapy can help families navigate these discussions productively.
13. Indeed disgusting. Let them have a taste of their own medicine.
Reddit/ VampireBride
14. Karma is real.
Reddit/ Beck2010
15. Time really would return what you gave.
Reddit/ junkiecreppermint
16. NTA.
Reddit/ ZoomZoomZachAttack
17. "Children don't owe their parents a thing."
Reddit/ SnooSprouts6712
18. Let them feel what you've been through.
Reddit/ Zn_Saucier
19. Let the abuse stop right there.
Reddit/ jennyislander
20. Save her, please.
Reddit/ Material- Profit5923
21. "Let them know you will be treating them the way they deserve."
Reddit/ GG_1983
22. "They deserve nothing from you."
Reddit/ Mc_and_SP
By the time people told her “you literally owe them nothing,” it was clear the family dinner would not end with anyone apologizing, just more demands.
In short, parents are responsible for treating their children with love, respect, and fairness, and it is unacceptable to mistreat them in any way. Mistreated children should seek support and help to heal from the trauma.
This can help them process and cope with their experiences and find ways to improve their situation. By doing so, they can end their generation's trauma and ensure their future children grow up in a healthy environment.
The situation described in the article underscores the intricate financial dynamics often at play within families, particularly those that have experienced emotional or physical abuse. The Redditor's refusal to pay her parents' mortgage raises significant questions about the expectations placed on adult children by parents who have not provided a supportive upbringing. This highlights the potential for misunderstandings and conflict that can arise when financial responsibilities intersect with unresolved familial trauma.
Moreover, the necessity for open communication regarding financial obligations cannot be overstated. In this case, the parents' demand for financial support from their child, despite a history of abuse, reveals a troubling lack of awareness about the emotional toll such expectations can impose. Addressing these financial dynamics early on is crucial in preventing long-lasting damage to relationships, especially in families already burdened by past traumas.
Nobody wants to be used as the family ATM after being treated like the disposable kid.
After your parents called you “the hole” for the mortgage, read how one daughter refused to fund her parents’ retirement after a luxury car splurge, in this AITA about cutting off financial support.
