Redditor Tells Best Friend That He Caused His Divorce By Forcing Wife Into An Open Marriage And Gets Cut Off

Most people are not ready to face the painful truth when they ask for opinions or advice. Somehow, they believe that since they have asked, the person providing help will side with them.

In such cases, they should not even seek others' opinions. A similar issue occurred with a Reddit user who asked Redditors for their perspective.

The OP is a 25-year-old female. She recently had a falling out with her former best friend, a 30-year-old male named Ben.

Ben's marriage ended in divorce, which he attributed to mistakes he made. The OP did not offer him the support he expected during this time.

The conflict traces back to Ben convincing his wife, Gwen (27), to enter an open relationship against the OP's advice. The OP, who is also friends with Gwen, supported her throughout this period.

She encouraged Gwen to embrace the open relationship, believing she would eventually realize her own value and leave Ben. The OP saw Gwen as someone who often let others take advantage of her.

After six months, Ben, regretting his decision, complained to the OP that Gwen continued the open relationship with another man, Martin, and refused to end it despite his efforts to win her back. Ben asked the OP to persuade Gwen to end the open relationship, but the OP openly called him out for his selfishness and warned him of the consequences.

Gwen filed for divorce three months later, and the process was straightforward. Despite this, Ben continued to seek sympathy from the OP, who reminded him that he now had the freedom he desired.

Ben accused the OP of gloating over his misfortune and cut off contact with her. However, some of the OP's friends believe she was too harsh on Ben.

Thus, she wondered if her honesty was inappropriate, given the outcome of Ben's situation.

OP asks:

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The OP explained that her honesty led to an argument:

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Her friend forced his wife to be in an open relationship:

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The Consequences of Relationship Decisions

Dr. Vanessa Green, a relationship therapist at the University of Chicago, highlights that decisions made in a relationship, such as opening a marriage, can have profound implications. When one partner feels coerced into such decisions, it can lead to deep resentment and feelings of betrayal.

Research indicates that autonomy and mutual agreement are critical in maintaining relationship satisfaction and stability.

The OP helped his wife accept the imposed circumstances:

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The friend's wife ended up in love with someone else and filed for divorce:

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The OP told her friend it was his fault, and he got mad at her:

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According to Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a relationship therapist, "When one partner feels coerced into a decision, it can create a significant power imbalance that undermines the foundation of trust in the relationship." This sentiment is echoed by research from her professional insights at dralexandrasolomon.com, which highlights how forced decisions can lead to emotional fallout, affecting not only the individuals involved but also their wider social circles. Understanding the complexities of consent and shared decision-making is essential for healthy relationships.

Their other friends told the OP that her actions were wrong:

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A Redditor said it was his fault

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It is his problem

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The Importance of Autonomy in Relationships

Maintaining autonomy is crucial in any healthy relationship. Experts suggest that partners must feel free to express their desires and boundaries without fear of repercussions.

Encouraging open communication about wants and needs can help ensure that both partners feel respected and valued in the relationship.

The OP was right to encourage Gwen to move on

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The OP warned him, but he didn't listen

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The OP added:

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Moreover, understanding the psychological concept of coercive control can provide insights into these dynamics. Coercive control involves manipulating a partner's choices through emotional pressure, which can lead to feelings of helplessness.

Recognizing these patterns is vital for individuals to reclaim their autonomy and engage in healthier relational dynamics.

He disrespected Gwen and her wishes

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Redditors told the OP that she was not wrong for telling her friend the truth. She warned him that it could destroy his marriage when he started insisting on an open relationship.

Now, her friend is facing the consequences of his choices and actions. He should have listened to the OP and his wife.

The friend literally provoked his divorce by forcing his wife into something she didn't want. Redditors also said that helping Gwen overcome that difficult period was the right thing to do.

Navigating Relationship Conflicts

To navigate conflicts effectively, it's essential to engage in constructive dialogue. Experts recommend using conflict resolution techniques that emphasize empathy and understanding, such as active listening and collaborative problem-solving.

Creating an environment where both partners feel heard can significantly enhance relationship satisfaction and reduce conflict.

Psychological Analysis

This situation underscores the importance of autonomy in relationships, particularly when it comes to making significant decisions. It's crucial for partners to engage in open discussions about their desires and boundaries to ensure that both individuals feel respected.

Encouraging an environment of mutual respect can lead to healthier relational dynamics.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, relationship decisions should always prioritize mutual consent and respect for autonomy.

As noted by Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a renowned relationship therapist, "Healthy relationships are built on open communication and mutual respect, which can significantly reduce conflicts and enhance emotional connections." Fostering such understanding is essential for maintaining strong bonds in any partnership.