People Who 'Went Out For Milk' and Never Came Home Share The Juicy Stories On How And Why They Left

Some people do not just leave a relationship, they vanish from it, and the reasons can be messy, painful, and surprisingly ordinary at the same time.

This Reddit thread is full of people who say they walked out of abusive homes, controlling relationships, or chaotic family situations and never looked back. Some left with nothing but a bag, some left with help, and some were gone before anyone even realized what had happened.

Here are 15 of the most memorable stories, and the first one sets the tone fast.

I love you Dad...

"When I was five, my dad came home from work, and my mom informed him out, completely of the blue, that she wanted an immediate divorce (I found out many years later she’d had an affair and was pregnant). He moved out of the house (they had three little kids together; I was the oldest), and she married her second husband (twice; they weren’t divorced the first time). He was paying child support as he was supposed to, but she was calling him at work and sending him letters at home (his sister kept them), asking for more, and he began to get complaints about it from his bosses. He asked his mother what he should do; she advised him to tell her he was giving her all he could, and all he was ordered to, and that he was going to lose his job if she kept it up. And, that if she didn’t stop, he’d leave the state, and she’d never hear from him again. She thought that would make her wise up and leave him alone. So, he did. But she continued. So, he asked his mother for advice again. Her advice was to follow through. And so, he did. He packed his clothes into his car, and headed for Canada. He got as far as two states north from where he began, liked a little town he came across, and got a job there.

I never forgot him. I was the only one of the three of us kids that had any memories of him. But when I was 16 and moved away from my extremely abusive home (in every way), I called my aunt, whose name I knew, who happened to live in the town I was also then living in, a...[truncated]

Just a toddler...

"I was a toddler. 2 or so. After 9/11 my mother moved ya up to Vermont with her boyfriend who, for what it is worth, is now in federal prison for first degree murder of another girlfriend. As that indicates he wasn’t a good guy. He wouldn’t let me drink water unless I’d eaten a full meal, and I was two, so my mother had to serve fruit with every meal so I’d have moisture and let me drink water while he was at work. On days he didn’t work she & I would go out and explore as much as we could. We took to cleaning up old over grown graveyards, since it was interesting and fun and most importantly time consuming. But he was very controlling and didn’t want us to leave. She didn’t have a car so we had to walk everywhere. Being from NC and with no ability to purchase a train ticket because he controlled all her finances and she didn’t have a phone, she was forced to use a pay phone to contact my grandparents to fly up and come rescue us and fly us back. And had to tune it with his work schedule to make sure he wasn’t there when they came because she thought he might try to hurt me if he saw them come to take us." - AngelOfDivinity

That kind of control leaves people with very few good options.

A similar stunt...

"I didn’t go out for cigarettes, but I pulled a similar stunt.

My mom is abusive and I had no spine, so I told her I was going to move in with my dad for the summer, I said I would be back before the end of August. After I moved in with my dad I got my state ID (my mom didn’t want me to have any kind of id) and I finally got my drivers permit a few weeks later. I felt bad for lying at the time, but now l know if I didn’t lie to her I would have never gotten out of there. I would be stuck living on a shitty little hobby farm with a woman who did everything in her power to tear me down and hurt me." - ice-nymph

Sleeping on the couch...

"When I was 18, I moved out from my abusive father. I was commuting to college at the time and I had morning classes so the night before I packed my car with as much of my stuff as I could, and set off.

One of my professors that I regularly talk to after class noticed that my car was full of clothes and asked if everything was okay. Over lunch I explained my situation, and he offered to take me in. I had already made arrangements to live with my mother. After my classes for the day were over I went home for the first time since I was a child to live with my mother.

I slept on the couch for months before getting my own bed, and we didn’t always have the money to eat, but we made it work.

I have seen my father one time since then because he swore to me that he had changed, that night he proceeded to get wasted and tried to put his hands on me. I haven’t seen him since, and I have no regrets.

Edit: Thank you for the gold and silver! I didn’t expect it. I was just wanting to finally share my experience with a wider audience, and maybe bring hope to anyone else in a situation like mine. “Put hands on me” is a slang term for starting a fight. I’m not sure if it’s popular slang, or regional slang (southeast US) but at no point was I sexually abused. I apologize if there was any confusion."

That reunion did not go the way anyone hoped.

Mom wasn't there anymore...

"ETSay: thank you everyone for all the kind words and support and awards. I felt a lot of love reading it all today.

My mom just all of the sudden wasn’t there anymore.

She and my dad were miserable but my dad wouldn’t agree to divorce. He was a minister at a big church and didn’t believe divorce was right and so instead he tried to stay married to my mom, all while avoiding her and all the unhappiness at home.

She never really left her bedroom. She was miserable and she made everyone else miserable, too. She was horrible to me in those last few years. We had been really close before that.

She started moving stuff out of the house little by little when no one was home. Like, one day a bookshelf would be gone. And we’d all notice but just kind of go on with our lives.

And it bothers me very very much, but her moving out was so abrupt and so ambiguous, that I don’t remember specifics about it. Like I don’t know if it was during the school year or over summer - I don’t know where I was or what was different when I came home that day - but at some point, she didn’t live there anymore.

I was 14.

My dad told me that God told him she would never come back. I looked up to my dad a lot - he was kind-of on the same level as God in my mind - so I believed him. He soon after started dating another woman - secretly because the church didn’t know he was divorced yet. He intended to marry her as soon as possible.

I remember I had to pose fo...[truncated]

Just walked out...

"I grew up in a very abusive strict home. My step father beat both my sisters and then when they left I was next. Anyways one night he made me walk home from the mall because he wouldn’t give me a ride. I called and asked around five and he said you better have your ass home at five. I walked the eight miles and was pretty wiped out when I was coming up the driveway. We had a big front window and I saw him sitting in his chair drinking whiskey waiting for me. When I walked in he said something and I replied you won’t do shit. The next thing I knew he had me pinned to the wall and punched me in the face until I was knocked out. When I woke up I remember feeling the blood from my nose and my mother was standing there and told me I was a disgrace to go clean my face off. I went upstairs and grabbed a hat and walked out and never went back. I was 14 years old at the time. Edit: Gold! Thank you kind strangers!:" - anon

This is similar to a dad who divorced his wife after discovering secret savings, and now his kids call him heartless.

Sometimes the exit is sudden because staying any longer feels impossible.

My grandmother did it...

"My grandmother did. Just left her husband and three kids, the eldest in elementary school.

My grandfather made it through. He worked at my great-grandfathers business and went on to own it. He also remarried a few years later.

About 25ish years after she left, she contact my dad wanting to meet her grandkids (my older brother and me) and reconnect. I was around two, my brother 5ish. My brother called her by her. This was upsetting to her and she left.

15 years pass and once again, she wants to be in our life. This time we go to her. I was excited to meet her, as my grandfathers wife hated her step kids, and thus her step-grandkids. So my teenage self set up a false reality. One bug happy family. Reality was, she had a whole different family she was happy with. A granddaughter who she loved dearly and made quilts with. She called me the wrong name the whole time we were there, even when corrected. She had a cute house with family pictures all over - none of us of course. It’s like she forgot all about her other three kids.

She’s just some lady to me. I only know her first name honestly. And I know that I never want to be like her. Edit to say because it did just end: it’s been about 10 years since we last saw her.

My dad… he hides it. His life growing up was not great as a result. He’s angry about it, but pretends not to be. But my dad had never, ever not been there for me. He’s honestly sometimes too much there for me."

10 years old...

"I was ten years old when my mom and dad split up. We had been expecting it, but I didn’t know that my mom had packed up suitcases for herself, my sister, and I. One day we went to school like everything was normal, and went to my mom’s parents after school. It wasn’t unusual for us to have dinner there. But then mom sat us down and told us we’d be staying there for a while.

Ended up being six years before we got our own place. I never got to go back to my bedroom again. My dad got remarried and his wife’s daughter moved in and repainted my room. When I had to visit them I slept on the couch while she slept in my room.

Edit: I clearly do not check reddit enough. Thank you for all the love and support everyone is showing to everyone! And thank you for the silver kind strangers 🙂" - Ironsweetiez

That’s the kind of childhood split that sticks around for years.

My mom was in on it...

"When I was 16, I moved out without telling my stepdad, but my mom was in on it. And I just moved in with my grandparents. I left on a Friday. Got all my stuff in just two trips. I was told he didn’t even notice I was gone the first weekend. He was pretty mad once he figured it out, but it was all mostly a non-event. Everything turned out okay for me. It will have been 21 years, this September." - ArmyOfDog

He obsessively controlled the money...

"My ex-husband was extremely physically and emotionally abusive, as well as an alcoholic/addict. He obsessively controlled the money and every second of my daily routine; an unplanned five minute delay to get gas on the way home would result in a dressing down (if I was lucky, a beating if I wasn’t). We had three daughters, and on the few occasions I threatened to leave, he’d tell me to go ahead and leave, but I couldn’t take our daughters with me.

At one of our couple-friends’ wedding reception, he got drunk as per usual and lost his mind over something insignificant, dragged me around in the street by my hair, and pulled a gun on me (in front of the wedding party). One of his friends - who was a real POS - took me aside while the groom’s mom was driving my ex home, and told me “you don’t have to live like this.” It was like a light went on in my mind - THIS GUY says I don’t have to live like this?!?

It took me a couple of weeks to put a plan in place, but one morning after my ex left for work my dad helped me pack everything that would fit in a uhaul, and I gtfo.

I’d like to say I never saw him again after that day, but I was pretty lucky he decided to leave me alone after an initial period of stalking and a bout in jail for violating an order of protection. Fast forward 15 years, and I finished undergrad, law school, and post-doc. I’m remarried with two more amazing kids, and life is pretty much goals.

EDIT: I forgot to mention the kids! I did ta...[truncated]

She finally got out, and everything changed after that.

Half answer but a good answer...

"Half answer.

My dad died when I was pretty young. My mom eventually remarried to a pretty cool guy when I was young. He was honestly an amazing dad, and when my mom got sick when I was a 12, he was absolutely incredible- taking care of everyone, and reaffirming that I was his son. When my mum died, it was just me and him for a few years - and there were some amazing times. He made sure I was seeing a counsellor, and we did family things on the weekend. My friends used to joke that he wasn’t even my biological dad and he still made more time for me, and did more things for me than their bio dad’s did.

When I was 15, he got remarried. I didn’t exactly like my new step mom, but I didn’t hate her. I think I just thought that the relationship wouldn’t last and he’d move on to someone better. Then they got married and it was kinda weird. I did get an amazing baby brother from that - not all bad.

My dad died when I was 17. Literally taken out by an undiagnosed severe allergy. My step-mom got me from school and drove me to the hospital, and when my dad passed away, she handed me my baby brother and said she needed a minute by herself. I never saw her again.

She was much younger than my dad, and was an ex-foster are kid with no family or best friends to support her - and I think she looked at her newborn baby and the kid her dead husband inherited and just couldn’t handle it. I sure know I wasn’t prepared to handle it - but my mom and my (biological) dad ha...[truncated]

Walked out on my mom and siblings...

"Didnt leave my wife and kids as I dont have any but i did walk out on my mother and siblings without any notice. Dad was not in the picture.

After? Best decision of my life. My mother refuses treatment for her very serious mental illness or illnesses and was incredibly abusive physically as well and neglectful while i was growing up. I saw the affect it had burn out older siblings with no motive or drive and instead embraced the crazy just to feel sane in the toxic family home we lived in.

I was homeless for about a year and a half living out of a duffel and bumming food from friends. I feel like my life hasent even started until i left it behind. I feel like it held me back for 17 years and i now am finally being able to find out who i am.

Mom never came looking for me, i reconnected with my estranged father, whome i learned was in the military from the moment he was 18 until he was HD at 43. He has severe PTSD from his 3 tours in Iraq and afghanastan. He’s now getting his Masters in outdoors leadership which i believe is a perfect way to use his massive skill set. I dont see him much if ever but at least i know some blood is still thicker than water" - largePPguy

King of ghosting...

"my real dad ghosted like 4 families. his first family, he had a son. he was in that family for 13 years, his son had a motorcycle wreck and ended up in intensive care. a year later he ghosted that family and moved to a new state. just up and left, didnt take anything but his clothes and his car.

second family, he had a daughter. he left almost immediately.

then he moved to another state, and married another woman, and had two more kids whom ive never met or spoken to. dont even know their names tbh. jake? john? jordan? josh? something with a j. he went out for a pack of smokes and never went back(his own words)

then he met my mom, and had my sister first. he ghosted my mom 3.2 years later, then showed up for some quick whoopie, and i happened. he ghosted her, but didnt leave the state. she called the cops and my first memory is of the cops bringing my dad to the house in cuffs and letting him go, only for him to attack my mom while she was holding me and she dropped me. then the cops arrested him. he wanted out, he got out.

he had 2 more marriages, but no kids. its his MO to shack up with well off women and mooch until they either kick him out or he gets bored.

its really fucking painful to see, because i want to be an asswiping dad whose there for his kids every fucking second of their lives. i want to be the exact opposite of him."

Some people leave behind a mess, and some leave behind a pattern.

Before you judge, see what happened when a man refused to let struggling parents move back home.