Absentee Father Wants Money His Wife And Mother-In-Law Saved For Daughter's College

A 28-year-old woman tried to move on with her life, until old memories from her childhood came roaring back. Her absentee, abusive father was never just “gone,” he was the kind of presence that showed up and made everything worse, emotionally and physically.

Here’s the messy part: her grandmother had been covering her education, and when her father finally demanded access to the money saved for her daughter’s college, it was not a simple financial request. It was control, entitlement, and a power struggle that had been brewing since he ignored her school support, even going as far as saying he regretted not killing her as a baby.

Now the family’s locked-room overheard arguments, the scholarship money she never received, and the threats he made are all colliding in one ugly confrontation.

A past talk with their grandmother resurfaces, intensifying OP's resentment for an absentee, abusive father whose visits brought emotional and physical torment.

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A hazy recollection from either 6th grade or high school haunts OP, suppressed due to its role in triggering their PTSD.

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At ages 11 to 13, OP discovered their father never supported their education, which was covered entirely by their grandmother. Later, the father expressed regret about not having killed OP as a baby.

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The situation presented in this narrative highlights significant themes of entitlement and control that are often masked by financial disputes. The father's demand for money saved for his daughter's education illustrates a deeper relational conflict rooted in his history of absenteeism and emotional abuse. This dynamic reveals how financial matters can serve as a battleground for unresolved issues in relationships, particularly when one partner has historically held more power.

In this case, the father's attempts to reclaim control over the financial contributions made by his wife and mother-in-law not only reflect his desperation but also expose the emotional inadequacies that arise from feeling excluded. This sense of exclusion can foster resentment, turning what should be a cooperative effort towards the daughter's future into a source of explosive confrontation.

At 12, entering high school, OP received a scholarship worth 10,000 to 15,000 pesos per year. Trouble brews when Dickman discovers it.

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He asked his grandma and found out she was saving his scholarship money for college, but he never received it after she passed away.

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In their locked room, they overheard conversations, a routine whenever Dickman was at home.

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Dickman shouted at OP's grandma, ignoring her doctor's stress advice and demanding control over OP's money.

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Despite Grandma's refusal to give the dad money, he angrily insisted, claiming he should handle OP's finances.

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The dad threatened to burn the house down with the grandma inside and threw objects at the door, escalating the situation.

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At 22, loud crashes trigger memories of the abusive, now-deceased father, but he's permanently out of OP's life.

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The post blew up overnight, and OP thanked everyone for the support. They humorously mentioned their country's education system, heading to high school after sixth grade.

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An edit from OP...

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When Grandma’s past-saving strategy for OP’s scholarship comes back into focus, the father’s “entitled regret” starts looking less like concern and more like leverage.

That’s when OP reveals the scholarship details, the father learns he never got the money, and the whole house becomes a place where arguments start behind closed doors.

Practical strategies for addressing financial conflicts include setting regular financial meetings to openly discuss budgetary concerns and future goals.

Utilizing tools like joint budgeting apps can facilitate transparency and collaboration, reducing feelings of exclusion.

Additionally, couples might benefit from engaging in therapy focused on communication skills, which can aid in resolving underlying issues of control and entitlement.

And another...

Scroll down to see what people had to say!

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Life's cooler this way!

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Dad cashed in their college savings bonds for 'life lessons' and then invoiced them for the privilege of being raised. Classic budgeting strategy!

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The emotional landscape of OP's childhood, marred by their father’s absence and abusive behavior, inevitably intertwines with financial dynamics. The father's sporadic presence and the turmoil it brought likely instilled a deep-seated fear around financial security in OP. This sentiment is echoed in the article's exploration of the father's desire for money set aside for his daughter’s education, revealing how unresolved financial conflicts from the past can manifest in present-day disputes.

Such experiences are critical in shaping how individuals perceive and manage money as adults. The lingering trauma from OP's childhood may complicate their relationship with finances, leading to anxiety around financial discussions, especially in the context of their daughter's future. Recognizing these patterns is essential for OP to navigate their current financial reality and foster open, healthy conversations about money moving forward.

This echoes OP asking in-laws for help with a child’s medical bills, after being refused the first time.

Hoping for a spin-off with better characters and fewer plot twists in the next life season.

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Grocery money's a risky venture, but hey, at least he's not competing for the 'Worst Dad' award. Silver linings, right?

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Grabbing the armor and sharpening the wit—it's crusade o'clock! Time to turn life's misadventures into a comedy of victories.

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Dad delivered the deluxe PTSD package. Therapy's the witty survival plan—it beats starring in his drama series!

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Dad vanishes, kid gets school cash, and suddenly it's 'Hippity hoppity, his property!' A disappearing act with a twist in the wallet, courtesy of dad's magic touch.

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Anxiety buddies! Mom's the maestro of social anxiety and the curator of insecurities.

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Dad: Financial genius in weed and beer, fight enthusiast. His regret? Not smothering me as a baby for a 'bitch-proof' investment.

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In the parenting circus, they and their 'dad' are reluctant co-stars. Cheers to enduring the ongoing drama of family dynamics!

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Dad happened—the magician who turned scholarship money into a disappearing act. It's like financial Houdini, minus the prestige.

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Adoptive family swoops in for the win, while some dads perfect the art of vanishing acts. Life's a sitcom; stay strong!

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Ditched the drama, upgraded to a third-person life plot. Now, it's a hundred times better—no room for dad drama in their story!

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Dad's out of the picture; Grandma's the unsung hero. No kid should face that drama.

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Dad turned savings into an IRS magic trick. Forced a garage sale, but the disappearing act continued—no money, just a tax bill as a souvenir.

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A beautiful day outside, birds singing, flowers blooming—a scene so idyllic even Hell would say, 'No thanks, we have standards.'

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Dad's great escape deprived us of the karma showdown. No offense, but his parenting act was a tragic comedy—epic fail edition!

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Dad, the financial illusionist, probably traded savings for a magic trick. Mom? Front-row spectator, not on stage—classic dysfunctional theater.

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After Grandma refuses to hand over control, the father escalates from shouting to outright threats, even as OP is stuck listening to the same pattern again.

By the time he insists he “should handle” OP’s finances and threatens to burn the house down, it stops being about college money and turns into a fight over who gets power.

Now 22, OP grapples with a pervasive fear linked to loud noises, a haunting reminder of the potential return of their now-deceased father. Nevertheless, the silver lining is the definitive removal of this toxic figure from their life.

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In this emotionally charged situation, the financial dispute over college savings highlights the deeper relational issues stemming from a history of trauma and abandonment. The father's request for money reflects not just a financial need but also a desperate attempt to assert his role in the daughter's life after years of absence and abuse. These unresolved emotional dynamics complicate the conversation about money, illustrating how financial discussions can become battlegrounds for deeper issues of trust and responsibility. Addressing these underlying feelings is essential for healing and moving towards a healthier family dynamic.

The scholarship was supposed to be a future, but with this father involved, it turned into a weapon.

Wait, you mean the parents refused to repay a loan, and it still escalated? Check out the AITA where someone demanded loan repayment from their parents, and the family imploded.