Should I Ask My Friend to Repay Me for Baby Expenses After Canceling Our Plan?

A 29-year-old woman thought she and her best friend had a solid plan for baby season, split the big stuff, and even pictured their kids growing up together. Then Sarah, 28, backed out of the agreement, claiming personal financial trouble, and promised she would repay later.

So OP kept paying for the essentials, cribs, strollers, clothes, while Sarah started dropping money on designer handbags and luxury dinners. OP asked again and again, but the “I’ll pay you when I’m better” promise never turned into actual repayment, and the friendship started to feel like a one-way street.

Now OP is stuck wondering if she’s being unreasonable for asking for her money back, or if Sarah is just buying time with pretty excuses.

Original Post

So I'm (29F) and have been close friends with Sarah (28F) for over a decade. We've always been there for each other, but recently, a situation arose that has left me questioning our friendship dynamic.

For background, Sarah and I both planned to have children around the same time, hoping our kids would grow up together. We agreed to split the costs for essential baby items like cribs, strollers, and clothes to help each other out financially.

Everything was going smoothly until Sarah unexpectedly canceled our agreement. A few months ago, Sarah informed me that she was no longer in a position to continue sharing the expenses due to personal financial difficulties.

She assured me that she would repay her share once her situation improved. However, since then, Sarah has been spending on non-essential items like designer handbags and luxury dinners, which makes me question her sincerity.

Despite numerous reminders, Sarah hasn't made any effort to fulfill her promise, leaving me to bear the entire financial burden of our initial agreement. I feel betrayed and taken advantage of, especially considering I've supported her through tough times in the past.

I'm torn between understanding her financial struggles and feeling like she's prioritizing her luxuries over our friendship and the promises we made. So, Reddit, given the circumstances, would I be the a*****e for asking Sarah to repay me for the shared baby expenses she backed out on, considering her current spending habits?

I honestly don't know if I'm being unreasonable or if my feelings are justified. Really need outside perspective.

Moreover, establishing ground rules upfront can provide a framework for accountability, making it easier to address any issues that arise.

Comment from u/potato_king42

Comment from u/Coffee-Lover-1993

Comment from u/epic_gamer420

OP’s original deal was simple, split baby essentials so neither of them got crushed financially, but Sarah’s sudden cancellation is what flipped everything.

The part that stings is the mismatch, Sarah says she can’t afford her share, yet she’s still spending on luxury dinners and designer handbags instead of paying OP back.

It’s a lot like the AITA fight where a parent defied in-laws over toddler discipline, sparking a clash with the husband.

Parenting Clash: Defying In-Laws on Discipline, AITA?

This can prevent misunderstandings and help maintain trust.com'>Dave Ramsey, transparency in financial matters is key to healthy relationships.

A proactive approach includes setting a budget and agreeing on acceptable purchases. This clarity helps ensure both friends feel secure and valued, reducing resentment over financial commitments.

Comment from u/johndoe

Comment from u/NotAFakeAccount

After “numerous reminders” go nowhere, OP has to decide whether this is a temporary rough patch or a pattern of broken promises.

The real complication is the friendship history, OP has supported Sarah through tough times before, so asking for repayment feels like it might blow up the bond.

What would you do in this situation? Share your opinion in the comments.

The situation presented in this Reddit thread encapsulates the often tricky intersection of friendship and finances.

This situation highlights a common psychological conflict between empathy and accountability. The original poster feels betrayed because financial commitments can deeply impact trust in friendships, especially when one party perceives the other as prioritizing luxuries over shared responsibilities.

OP might not be asking for much, but she’s realizing she can’t build a baby plan on vibes and unpaid bills.

Also, see why Reddit users debated whether it was wrong to question a friend's sudden pregnancy announcement. Is It Wrong to Question My Friends Unexpected Pregnancy Announcement?