Should I Date My Best Friends Ex? AITA for Falling in Love?

A 28-year-old woman is stuck in a love story that feels like it was written to cause maximum fallout. Her best friend just got out of a two-year relationship, and she was the one holding her together through the ugly breakup, the late-night crying, the nonstop venting.

Then, a few weeks later, the ex-boyfriend reaches out to her. There was always “a spark” when they ran into each other, and now the two of them have feelings, the kind that turn into actual dating. The catch is brutal: she hasn’t told her best friend yet, and her friend is the type to cut people off for loyalty violations, even in situations that are messy but not malicious.

So yeah, the romance is real, but the timing might be radioactive.

Original Post

So I'm (28F) in a bit of a messy situation and I need some perspective. My best friend (26F) recently broke up with her boyfriend of two years.

They had a rough breakup, and she was devastated. I comforted her through it all, listened to her vent, and supported her.

A few weeks after their breakup, her ex-boyfriend (30M) reached out to me. We had crossed paths a few times while they were dating, and there was always a spark between us.

We started talking, and eventually, we both developed feelings for each other. We both knew it was a complicated situation, given my friendship with his ex.

After a lot of contemplation, we decided to start dating. We both care about my best friend, and we're not trying to hurt her.

However, we can't deny our feelings either. I haven't told my best friend about us because I'm afraid of how she'll react.

For background, my best friend is very sensitive about loyalty and has cut off friends in the past for betraying her trust. I value our friendship a lot, and I'm torn between my feelings for her ex and not wanting to lose her as a friend.

I know she's still healing from the breakup, and I feel guilty for pursuing something with her ex so soon. So AITA?

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It’s a lot like the AITA where someone considered pursuing their friend’s crush, even as feelings got complicated.

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OP was there for her best friend’s breakup, but the ex-boyfriend of two years still found his way into her DMs a few weeks later.

While OP and the ex-boyfriend start developing real feelings, the “best friend loyalty” problem is already sitting in the background, loud and waiting.

OP admits she’s scared of how her best friend will react, especially since she’s cut off people before for betraying her trust.

Now OP is basically stuck between dating the man she likes and risking the friendship she’s terrified to lose, all while her friend is still healing.

What do you think about this situation? Let us know in the comments.

OP might not be the villain, but she’s definitely walking into a loyalty bomb with feelings in her hand.

Still torn between loyalty and romance with your best friend’s ex? Read more in this AITA about dating a best friend’s ex after a messy breakup.