Should I Give My Full-Time Working Mom Money From My Part-Time Job?

It started with a simple guilt trip: a 19-year-old college student working 20 to 25 hours a week at a campus café kept getting asked for cash by her mom, even though her mom already has a full-time salary.

Her mom pays tuition and rent, so at first she sent money for groceries, gas, and even “electric bill” top-ups. But the requests came weekly, and the student noticed the spending pattern did not match “tight month” emergencies, because there were new clothes, nails, and restaurant nights sprinkled in.

Then the ask for $120 for birthday gifts hit, and the whole family script flipped.

Original Post

AITAH for refusing to give my mom money from my part-time job after she keeps asking even though she has a full-time salary? **Post:** I (19F) started college this year and work 20–25 hours a week at a campus café to cover my phone bill, textbooks, bus pass and some food/clothes.

My mom pays tuition and rent (which I’m very grateful for), but she has a good full-time job and no big debts. The last few months she started asking me for money almost every week: $50 for groceries, $30 for gas, $80 “for the electric bill because it’s higher this month”, etc.

At first I sent it because she said “family helps each other” and I felt guilty. But I noticed she’s still buying new clothes, going out to eat with friends, getting her nails done, etc.

Last week she asked for $120 “to help with Birthday gifts for your little brother”. I said no, I’m already eating cheap noodles some days so I can afford my own textbooks, and I don’t think it’s fair that I’m funding her extras while working full-time hours on top of classes.

She got really upset, called me selfish and ungrateful, said “after everything I’ve done for you” and that “a good daughter would help her mom”. Now she’s giving me the silent treatment and telling my aunt and grandma that I’m “too big for my boots now that I’m in college”.

I feel awful because I love her, but I’m exhausted from working and studying and I just want to keep the little money I earn for myself. AITAH?

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This also reminds me of the worker who confronted a chronically late coworker and sparked chaos with mixed reactions.

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Every time her mom asked for $50 groceries or $30 gas, OP kept thinking, “I’m literally paying for my own basics, too, like textbooks and bus fare.”

That’s when the mom’s weekly requests stopped feeling like help and started feeling like a system, especially after the “higher electric bill” didn’t prevent nails and going out.

When OP refused the $120 birthday-gifts request for her little brother, her mom called her selfish and ungrateful and dragged “a good daughter would help her mom” into the argument.

Now that OP is getting the silent treatment and her aunt and grandma are calling her “too big for her boots,” the guilt is louder than the money she earns at the café.

How would you handle this situation? Let us know in the comments.

Nobody wants to feel like their part-time paycheck is funding someone else’s extras.

Want workplace drama too? See what happened when a manager questioned a coworker’s qualifications in front of the team.