Should I Have Ignored The School Caretaker Trying to Talk to Me? | AITA

Is ignoring a school caretaker's advances justified or rude? Check out this 17-year-old's dilemma with an older staff member's unwanted attention.

Damjan

Published in Interesting
23 Dec 2025

Should I Have Ignored The School Caretaker Trying to Talk to Me? | AITA

In today’s discussion, we dive into a thought-provoking situation posted by a 17-year-old who finds herself grappling with the discomfort of unwanted attention from a school caretaker. The young woman shares her experiences of feeling self-conscious about her appearance, especially in light of past encounters that have left her uneasy.

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Despite her attempts to maintain modesty in her formal school uniform, she has noticed the caretaker’s persistent attempts to engage her in conversation, which she finds unsettling. The post raises critical questions about boundaries, personal comfort, and the societal expectation to engage with others, even when it feels forced.

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After a particularly difficult day, she chose to ignore the caretaker when he expressed concern for her well-being, leading him to make a snarky remark that only heightened her distress. This situation resonates with many, as it touches on the complexities of navigating interactions where power dynamics, age differences, and personal safety are at play.

As the community weighs in on this scenario, it opens the floor for a broader conversation about respect, the right to feel safe, and the importance of listening to one’s instincts in uncomfortable situations. Should she have responded differently?

What steps should she take to ensure her comfort? Join us as we explore a multitude of perspectives on this compelling issue.

Original Post

17f We have a school caretaker/porter looks like a cool guy in his late 20s. He’s everywhere as he’s constantly moving things and whilst he’s working I catch him trying to interact with females strictly.

I caught him checking me out a couple times when I was younger during physical ed so whenever he’s around I put my trench over my shoulders. I’m super self conscious of my body anyways as I’ve experienced sexual remarks in the past even though I cover up.

My uniform is business wear, it’s super formal because they are so strict so I’m often wearing office trousers to stay comfortable. Today I was walking and I saw him and embarrassingly enough I struggled to put my trench over my shoulders,obviously to cover up as first im pretty modest anyways and second this guy is notorious amongst some of the girls in my year group.

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He caught me struggling and he asked me “are you okay you don’t look right” and I said yes obviously and then he asked me repeatedly trying to spark up a conversation. This might be bad but I just ignored him because I don’t know you?

As I was walking away he said out loud “something is definitely wrong with you”. Most definitely not in a concerned way but rather a snarky remark way.

I was already having a bad day so I wanted to burst into tears😂. I was on my way back to the school library and we crossed paths again, but this time he said “smile it looks good on you”.

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LIKE NO I DONT WANT TO SMILE LET ME BE PISSED OFF WHY DO YOU CARE!!! I gave him a look because please stop bothering me, but now I’m starting to feel like he was being nice?

My biggest pet peeve is when another woman is told to fix her face. I honestly dread crossing paths with this guy because it’s not the first time.

I might be the problem as I don’t talk to men I don’t know period. I have my guard up always which could be the issue.