Should I Pursue a Job Promotion Over My Coworker Who Trained Me?

Some workplace friendships start with “welcome aboard,” and somehow end with a promotion-shaped knife in the middle of the room. This one is personal, because OP didn’t just work alongside Sam, they were trained by him.

OP (29M) joined a tech team, got up to speed thanks to Sam (32M), and honestly improved fast under his mentorship. Now a higher position is opening, and OP has been eyeing it for a while. The complication? Sam also wants that same promotion, and when OP hinted in a team meeting, Sam looked thrown off, so the vibe shifted.

It’s the classic dilemma: career growth versus the guy who helped you get there.

Original Post

I (29M) have been working at a tech company for a few years. Recently, a new hire, Sam(32M), was brought in to help with our team's workload.

Sam was assigned to train me in new software, and he has been a great mentor, helping me excel. However, I've noticed that a higher position is opening up.

For background, I've been eyeing this promotion for a while, and it would significantly boost my career. I feel confident in my skills and believe I can perform well in that role.

The issue arises because Sam, who trained me, has also expressed interest in the same promotion. In our last team meeting, I subtly hinted at my aspirations, and Sam seemed a bit taken aback.

This led to some tension between us, although he didn't confront me directly. Sam is more experienced, but I've put in a lot of effort to learn and grow within the company.

Now, I'm torn. On one hand, I want to advance my career and feel deserving of the promotion.

On the other hand, I don't want to seem ungrateful to Sam, who has been integral to my progress. So, Reddit, AITA for pursuing the promotion ahead of my coworker who trained me?

This scenario really highlights the tension between personal ambition and workplace loyalty. OP's dilemma about pursuing a promotion over Sam, who invested time and effort into their training, is a common struggle many face. It's not just about wanting to climb the corporate ladder; it's about weighing the cost of that ascent against the relationships built along the way.

Readers can relate to the nuances of this situation, as the emotional stakes are high. On one hand, OP has the right to seek advancement, but on the other, there's the weight of gratitude for Sam's mentorship. This makes it a morally gray area where career growth often collides with loyalty.

OP’s been quietly aiming for the higher role for a while, and the fact that Sam trained him makes every hint of ambition feel heavier.</p>

Comment from u/MuffinLover94

NTA - You have the right to advance in your career. It's a competitive world out there, and you're not obligated to hold back for someone else, even if they trained you.

Comment from u/RandomThoughts32

Sam might have mixed feelings, but that's the nature of work environments. Navigating promotions can be tough, but ultimately, your career growth is important. NTA.

Comment from u/BlueSkiesAhead

ESH - It's great to aim high, but consider the impact on your relationship with Sam. Communicate openly with him about your intentions, acknowledging his mentorship.

Comment from u/WonderingStarlight

YTA - Sam invested time in training you, and considering his interest in the promotion, it seems unfair to overshadow him. Loyalty and gratitude matter, too.

After that team meeting where OP subtly hinted at the promotion, Sam’s “taken aback” reaction turned mentorship into tension.</p>

Comment from u/PizzaPartyTime

INFO - Have you discussed your promotion goals with Sam? It's essential to be transparent.

This also echoes the coworker training dynamic in the AITA where someone promoted after using their coworkers salary negotiation tips, without giving credit.

Comment from u/CoffeeCrazy80

NTA - At work, everyone aims for growth and opportunities. While it's tough when colleagues are in competition, prioritizing your career goals is valid. Just handle it with professionalism.

Comment from u/MoonlightGazer

YTA - Sam invested time and effort in your development, and bypassing him for a promotion could strain your working relationship. Consider the impact on team dynamics before proceeding.

Even though Sam didn’t confront OP, the timing is brutal because Sam’s experience and OP’s effort both point to the same job opening.</p>

Comment from u/ReadingRainbow555

NTA - Career growth is crucial, and you shouldn't feel guilty for pursuing advancement. As long as you handle the situation respectfully and professionally, it's normal to go after opportunities.

Comment from u/StarryNightDreamer

ESH - Both you and Sam have valid aspirations, and it's a tricky situation. Approach the promotion process with integrity, acknowledging Sam's role in your development.

Comment from u/GamingHero99

YTA - Sam's guidance was crucial to your progress, and showing appreciation by considering his promotion interest would reflect well on your character. It's not just about career advancement.

Now OP has to decide whether to chase the promotion anyway, knowing Sam’s help is the reason OP can even compete.</p>

What are your thoughts on this situation? Share your perspective in the comments below.

The Community's Divided Response

The Reddit community's reaction to OP's post is telling of how people perceive ambition in the workplace.

The Takeaway

This story underscores the complexity of workplace relationships, especially when ambition comes into play. OP's struggle to reconcile their career aspirations with loyalty to a mentor is a dilemma that many can empathize with. It raises important questions about where we draw the line between personal ambition and gratitude. How do you think OP should navigate this situation? Would you prioritize loyalty or career advancement if you were in their shoes?

Why This Matters

In this scenario, OP's internal conflict about pursuing a promotion while feeling gratitude toward Sam reflects a common tension in workplace dynamics. On one hand, OP recognizes his hard work and readiness for advancement, which is bolstered by Sam's mentorship; yet, he’s also aware that going after the promotion could jeopardize their relationship. This situation highlights the uncomfortable reality that ambition often necessitates tough choices, forcing individuals to weigh professional growth against the loyalty owed to colleagues who have supported them. Ultimately, the choices made here resonate with anyone who’s had to navigate similar crossroads in their careers.

OP can be grateful to Sam and still want the promotion, because gratitude is not a job title.

Before you tell anyone, read why one employee got judged for not telling their friend about the promotion.