Should I Refuse to Lend Money to a Friend Who Didnt Pay Me Back Last Time?

A 28-year-old woman refused to lend money to her friend after the friend borrowed once and never paid it back. Sounds simple, until you remember it was Sarah, someone she’s known for years, and the first loan came with a sob story about being “in a tight spot.”

Six months ago, Sarah asked for money, OP handed it over “no questions asked,” and the repayment never arrived. Every time OP brings it up, Sarah waves it off with more “rough time” talk. Now Sarah is back again with a new reason to borrow, and OP is stuck between loyalty and the very real feeling of being used.

Here’s the part that makes it messy, Sarah wants a second chance after a first one was treated like an optional suggestion.

Original Post

So I'm (28F) and I have this friend, let's call her Sarah (27F), who I've known for years. We've had a great friendship, always supporting each other.

About six months ago, Sarah asked to borrow some money as she was in a tight spot. Being a good friend, I lent her the amount she needed, no questions asked.

Fast forward to now, Sarah has never paid me back. Every time I bring it up, she brushes it off, saying she's going through a rough time and will return it soon.

But soon never comes. Recently, Sarah asked to borrow money again for a different reason, and I hesitated.

I'm torn. On one hand, I want to help my friend, but on the other hand, I feel taken advantage of.

I work hard for my money, and I can't keep lending it out without any assurance of repayment. If I say no this time, would I be the a*****e for refusing to help my friend in need after she failed to pay me back last time?

I honestly don't know if I'm wrong here, given our long history of friendship. So, WIBTA?

The Complicated Nature of Friendship Loans

The original poster's dilemma speaks to a common struggle in friendships: the intersection of trust and financial responsibility.

OP didn’t just hesitate once, she already lent Sarah money six months ago and got nothing back but excuses.

Comment from u/CoffeeAddict_91

NTA - friendships shouldn't be based on money, and if Sarah is not respecting your boundaries, it's totally fair to say no. Your hard-earned money deserves respect.

Comment from u/The_Real_MVP

So Sarah basically ghosted after borrowing money? NTA at all for feeling hesitant. It's hard when money comes between friends, but boundaries are important. Hope Sarah understands.

Every time OP tries to talk repayment, Sarah brushes it off, which is why the second request hits different.

Comment from u/SuperCatLady

NTA - Been in a similar situation before, and it's tough. Money can strain even the strongest of friendships. Maybe have an open conversation with Sarah about repayment plans if you decide to lend again.

This is similar to the OP deciding whether to keep lending to a friend who never repays debts.

Comment from u/DreamerForever

That's a rough spot, OP. NTA for being cautious; money can complicate things even with friends.

Now Sarah is asking again for a new “different reason,” and OP has to decide if this is help or a pattern.

Comment from u/GymRat365

NTA - Trust is a two-way street, and if Sarah hasn't held up her end of the deal, it's okay to take a step back. Friendship shouldn't be one-sided, especially when it comes to finances.

We'd love to hear your take on this situation. Share your thoughts below.

The hardest part is that this is still a long friendship, not some random stranger who can disappear after the transfer.

Why This Request Crossed a Line

This story highlights a critical tension between empathy and self-preservation. The OP's kindness in lending money initially could be seen as a supportive gesture, but Sarah's lack of repayment complicates that narrative. By asking for more help after failing to honor their previous agreement, Sarah risks putting the OP in a position where they feel compelled to choose between helping a friend and protecting their own financial well-being.

Many people in the community likely empathize with the OP's feelings of frustration and betrayal. This conflict encapsulates a broader societal debate about financial responsibility within personal relationships.

This situation underscores the delicate balance between friendship and financial boundaries. It raises an important question: when does helping a friend become enabling? As readers reflect on their own experiences, it's worth considering how they would handle a similar request. Would they lend again, or draw the line? This story serves as a reminder that sometimes, saying 'no' is the best way to preserve a friendship.

The original poster's struggle with Sarah reflects a classic dilemma where financial transactions strain personal relationships.

Nobody wants to keep funding Sarah’s “rough times” after they forgot to repay the first one.

Wondering where to draw the line? Read what happened when someone refused to lend to a friend in crisis.