Should I Set Up My Best Friend on a Blind Date Despite Her Secret Relationship?
WIBTA for setting up my best friend on a blind date, knowing she's secretly dating our mutual friend? A tricky love triangle dilemma unfolds.
Sarah’s secret relationship has turned your friend group into a live-action soap opera, and you are holding the remote. One minute you’re just trying to help people have a good time, the next minute you’re staring at a blind date plan that could detonate someone else’s private life.
Here’s the mess: Sarah, your best friend, has been quietly seeing Alex, a mutual friend, and they’re keeping it under wraps because of past drama. Meanwhile Mark, another friend, has been crushing on Sarah and asked you to set them up. You can see it going two ways, Mark and Sarah could genuinely hit it off, or the whole “down-low” situation could get exposed the second you play matchmaker.
And now you’re stuck deciding whether you’re betraying a promise to Sarah, or accidentally handing Mark the truth he never asked for.
Original Post
So I'm a 27-year-old woman, and I have this best friend, let's call her Sarah. Sarah has been sort of seeing our mutual friend, Alex, on the down-low.
They insisted on keeping it secret due to some past drama in our friend group. Now, recently, another friend of ours, let's call him Mark, mentioned to me that he's been crushing on Sarah for a while.
He even asked me to help set up a blind date with her. Here's where it gets tricky.
I know Sarah and Alex are a thing behind everyone's back, but Mark has no clue. He's a genuinely good guy, and I think they might hit it off.
But if I set them up, it could potentially blow Sarah and Alex's cover. Sarah trusts me, and I feel torn between helping Mark and keeping my promise to Sarah about their secret relationship.
If I go through with it, I might expose something that's not mine to share, but if I refuse, I'd be going back on a promise to help Mark out. So, would I be the a*****e if I set up this blind date without telling Mark the whole truth?
The Blind Date Dilemma
This situation really brings to light the complexities of friendship and dating within close-knit circles. Sarah's best friend is clearly in a tight spot; on one hand, she wants to help Mark, who's interested in Sarah, but on the other hand, she's aware of Sarah's covert relationship with Alex. This duality creates a tension that many readers can relate to—how do you remain loyal to your friends while also navigating their secrets?
What complicates matters further is Sarah's choice to keep her relationship with Alex under wraps due to past drama. It raises the question of why she felt the need to hide it in the first place, and whether her best friend is justified in potentially exposing that secret by setting her up with someone else. It's a classic case of wanting to help but risking harm.
Comment from u/potato_lover77

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Comment from u/stargazer999

Mark’s “I’ve been crushing on Sarah for a while” text is sweet, until you remember Sarah and Alex are actively hiding their relationship.
Secrets and Consequences
The fact that Sarah's relationship with Alex is a secret adds a layer of moral ambiguity to this situation. It’s not just about setting up a blind date; it’s about weighing loyalty against honesty. If Sarah’s best friend goes ahead with the blind date, she risks not only Sarah's trust but also the fragile dynamics within their friend group.
Moreover, Sarah’s hidden relationship suggests deeper issues at play, possibly involving unresolved feelings or past conflicts that readers are curious about. This isn’t simply a love triangle; it’s a tangled web of emotions that can lead to significant fallout. The stakes are high, and the potential for drama is palpable, making this story resonate with many who’ve faced similar dilemmas.
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Comment from u/theRealPancake8

The past drama Sarah mentioned is the exact reason the blind date feels like it could blow up Alex’s cover.
It also mirrors the AITA debate where someone set up their friend with a player, then felt guilty.
Community Reactions Reflect Realities
The Reddit community's response to this post is a testament to the complexity of human relationships. Some users side with Sarah's best friend, arguing that she should prioritize honesty by communicating with Sarah about Mark's feelings. Others caution against meddling, emphasizing the importance of respecting Sarah's choices, however secretive they may be.
This division highlights how varied people’s perspectives can be when it comes to friendship and romance. Some believe that it's better to remain in the dark than to risk stirring the pot, while others argue that keeping secrets only leads to greater complications down the line.
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Comment from u/gaming_fanatic2000

If you set Mark up with Sarah, the first awkward question, “So how do you know Alex,” could turn into a full group chat scandal.
The Triangular Tension
At the core of this narrative is the tension that often arises in friendship triangles, especially when romantic interests intersect. Sarah’s best friend is caught between wanting to support Mark and her loyalty to Sarah, who might not even be aware of the ramifications of her secrecy. It’s a situation that immerses readers in a familiar yet painful conflict: the fear of losing a friend versus the desire to pursue love.
Moreover, the unspoken drama involving Alex adds an extra layer of complexity. If Sarah's relationship is built on a foundation of secrecy, what happens when it inevitably comes to light? This kind of tension is what makes these stories so compelling; they force us to confront uncomfortable truths about our own relationships.
Comment from u/silver_linings22

The real gut punch is that Sarah trusts you, and a simple plan to help Mark could break that trust overnight.
What do you think about this situation? Let us know in the comments.
The Bottom Line
This story serves as a vivid reminder that the intersection of friendship and romance is fraught with challenges. The delicate balance between loyalty, honesty, and emotional well-being can lead to tough choices. As Sarah's best friend grapples with whether to set her up on a blind date, readers are left questioning: how far would you go to help a friend, especially when secrets are involved? It’s a dilemma that many can relate to, and it raises the intriguing possibility of unintended consequences in our closest relationships.
The situation Sarah's best friend finds herself in is a classic case of navigating the murky waters of loyalty and secrecy. On one hand, she genuinely wants to help Mark, who seems to have sincere feelings for Sarah, but on the other hand, she’s aware of Sarah and Alex's covert relationship, which complicates her decision. This tension is further intensified by Sarah's choice to keep her relationship under wraps due to past drama, suggesting unresolved issues within their friend group. Ultimately, this dilemma illustrates how the desire to support friends can clash with the need to protect their secrets, leading to potentially significant fallout.
One blind date could either spark a connection, or torch the secret Sarah begged you to protect.
Before you play matchmaker for Mark and Sarah, see how Reddit judged the blind-date crush setup.