Should I Skip My Friends Event After Being Excluded for Their New Group?

A 28-year-old woman refused to pretend she was fine after her best college friend started treating her like an optional extra. Emily and the OP have been close since college, the kind of friendship where “we’ll do everything together” sounds less like a joke and more like a lifestyle.

But lately, Emily’s been building a new friend group, and the OP keeps getting left out. A two-week stretch of exclusion turns into a pattern: Emily hosts a get-together without inviting her, then plans a movie night after the OP says she’s interested, and finally sets up a game night that very deliberately includes everyone but her. When the OP confronts her, Emily apologizes but insists the OP is overreacting, like being erased from multiple plans is no big deal.

Now the OP is stuck wondering whether skipping the next event is petty, or finally protecting her own heart.

Original Post

So I'm (28F) and have been friends with Emily (29F) since college. We used to be inseparable, doing everything together.

Lately, she's made new friends and often excludes me from gatherings. About two weeks ago, she hosted a small get-together and didn't invite me, although she knows I was free.

I felt hurt but let it slide. Last week, she mentioned a movie night, and I expressed interest, but she went ahead without inviting me.

I confronted her, and she brushed it off, saying it was a last-minute plan. Yesterday, Emily organized a game night and deliberately left me out, inviting her new friends instead.

It hit me hard. I texted Emily, expressing how excluded and unimportant I felt.

She apologized but didn't see it as a big deal. I broke down and told her how her actions hurt me deeply.

She said I was overreacting. I'm torn between wanting to salvage our friendship and prioritizing my feelings.

So AITAH?

The Heart of Exclusion

This situation highlights a painful reality many face: the feeling of being replaced. The original poster’s friendship with Emily had been a cornerstone of her social life, making the sudden shift to a new friend group all the more jarring. It’s not just about missing out on social events; it’s about feeling unvalued and forgotten. Readers can relate to that gut-wrenching moment when someone they thought was a constant suddenly prioritizes new relationships.

Emily's choice to expand her social circle isn’t inherently wrong, but the lack of communication around it makes it feel like a betrayal. The OP’s decision to skip the event isn't simply a rejection; it’s a form of self-preservation in the face of emotional hurt. That’s a nuanced conflict that resonates deeply with anyone who's grappled with changing friendships.

That first uninvited get-together felt like a fluke, until the movie night and the game night started stacking up with the same “oops, not you” energy from Emily.</p>

Comment from u/TheRealFriendshipGuru

NTA. True friends don't repeatedly dismiss you for new ones. Emily needs a wake-up call about loyalty and respect.

Comment from u/CaringEagle123

Emily sounds inconsiderate. Friends should communicate and not sideline each other. Your feelings are valid; she needs to understand that.

When Emily brushed off the OP’s concern as “last-minute,” it made the OP feel like her interest did not matter, even though she literally said she wanted to go.</p>

Comment from u/pizza_lover99

Sounds like Emily is neglecting your friendship. It's heartbreaking when someone you value doesn't reciprocate. You're not overreacting; Emily needs to reflect on her actions.

This feels like the same kind of sting as the AITA case about skipping a surprise party after being cut from a group hangout.

Comment from u/Rambler314

Wow, Emily's behavior is a red flag. Ignoring you repeatedly is not okay. Friendship is a two-way street. You deserve better. Don't doubt your feelings.

The moment Emily apologized but called it no big deal, the OP’s “I’ll just let it slide” attitude finally cracked, because the exclusion was too intentional to ignore.</p>

Comment from u/FriendlyNeighborhoodStrawberry

Friendship should be valued and mutual. Emily seems to be prioritizing her new friends over you. It's not an overreaction to address feeling left out. NTA.

What's your opinion on this situation? Join the conversation!.

So the OP’s question turns into a real-life test, if Emily keeps choosing her new friends over her, should she show up again or step back for good?</p>

Community Divided on Loyalty

The community’s reaction to this post reveals just how complex these friendship dynamics can be. Some commenters empathize with the OP, arguing that loyalty should be reciprocal and that Emily's actions seem dismissive. Others suggest that the OP should be more understanding, framing Emily’s new friendships as a natural part of growing up. This division underscores the moral gray areas in friendships, where loyalty and self-worth can clash.

It’s interesting to see how commenters bring their own experiences to the table, coloring their responses. For many, this isn’t just about one event; it’s a reflection of how we handle change within our social circles. The emotional stakes are high, and the differing perspectives highlight that navigating friendship can be as messy as it is meaningful.

This story underscores the heart-wrenching complexities of friendship, especially when feelings of exclusion come into play. As the OP grapples with her emotions, readers are left pondering their own experiences with loyalty and connection. How do you balance the evolution of friendships while maintaining your sense of self-worth? The tension between holding on and letting go is something we all navigate at different stages. What do you think the OP should do next?

Why This Matters

In this situation, the original poster's feelings of exclusion stem from her long-standing friendship with Emily being overshadowed by new connections. Despite her attempts to engage, Emily’s repeated oversight turned what should be a supportive bond into a painful experience of neglect. The OP's decision to skip the event reflects a desire to protect her self-worth rather than simply opting out of social gatherings. This dynamic illustrates how evolving friendships can sometimes lead to feelings of betrayal when communication falters.

If Emily only remembers the OP when it’s convenient, the next game night should be the OP’s exit, not her invitation.

Still torn about supporting someone who left you out, read why OP skipped her best friend’s baby shower after exclusion.