17 Things That People Do That Just Scream How Insecure They Are

When One Direction said, "You're insecure"... I really felt that. While that may have been some misplaced teen angst that I have thankfully (mostly) grown out of, insecurity is a huge part of so many people's lives.

It's also something that most people try to hide—usually by overcompensating with confidence. While, in an ideal world, people would feel comfortable with who they are, until then, many take the "fake it until you make it" approach. Sadly, this often falls short and comes across as insincere.

This thread over on Reddit asked what behaviors in others scream, "I'm very insecure?" The results are fascinating.

Insecurity is a normal part of life, and recognizing it is the first step to overcoming it! Remember to be kind to yourself and others; you don't know what they're going through.

What kinds of insecurity do you notice in other people? Tell us about them and your coping strategies in the comments!

People who not only see the glass as "half-full" but also judge the contents of the glass...

Dr. William Doherty, family therapist

"People who constantly judge others negatively often do so to elevate their own self-worth. This behavior is a clear indicator of their own insecurities and unhappiness," explains Dr. Doherty. He emphasizes that such actions reflect deeper emotional struggles rather than strength.

Recognizing these things in yourself is a great way to help you move on and heal from them.

Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar:

"When you find yourself questioning, 'Do they actually like me, or are they pretending to?' it often stems from a place of insecurity. It's crucial to recognize that these thoughts can be a reflection of our own self-esteem rather than the perceptions of others."

If you have to ask, probably!

Dr. Ramani Durvasula

"People often engage in self-deprecating behavior as a way to seek validation from others. This can be a sign of insecurity, as it reflects a need for external reassurance," explains Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist and author. "Recognizing this pattern is the first step towards building self-esteem and confidence."

Stalking your significant other too much.

Dr. Ian Kerner, sex therapist

"Constantly tracking a partner can stem from deep-seated insecurities and a lack of trust," explains Dr. Kerner. "While technology can enhance safety, using it to monitor a partner's whereabouts during social outings is not only invasive but also reflects personal insecurities.""It's essential to foster trust and open communication in relationships rather than resorting to surveillance," he adds, emphasizing that healthy relationships thrive on mutual respect and understanding.

Bullying usually stems from a place of insecurity.

Dr. Dan Gilbert

“People who are truly secure in themselves do not feel the need to belittle others. Bullying is often a reflection of one's own insecurities.”

Lying to seem cool.

[deleted]:

I used to be very insecure, so I'll speak from my own experience. Lying about something to seem cool is very obviously a signal of insecurity because they don't like who they are now.

Sometimes social media makes the problem worse; constantly seeing other people's highlight reels can be damaging.

Dr. William Doherty, family therapist

"People who frequently post motivational quotes on social media often seek validation and reassurance from others, indicating deeper insecurities," notes Dr. Doherty. "It's a way to cope with feelings of inadequacy.""Additionally, sharing personal moments online, such as visits to the doctor, can be a cry for help," explains Dr. Alexandra Solomon, relationship therapist. "When they respond with vague statements like 'Don't ask, hun. xoxox,' it often reflects a desire for attention rather than genuine connection.""Ultimately, those who live their lives through social media may be masking their insecurities," concludes Dr. John Gray, relationship author. "It's important to recognize these behaviors as signals of underlying issues."

I feel attacked.

Dr. Michael Thompson, child psychologist, states, "Insecurity often manifests in various ways, including overly simplistic passwords, which can reflect a lack of confidence in one's own security measures." A password made up of only lowercase letters can be a sign of this insecurity, as it suggests a reluctance to engage with more complex and secure options.

Always putting other people down.

Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

"When individuals constantly talk about their achievements and compare themselves to others, it often reflects deep-seated insecurities. This behavior can alienate others and create a toxic environment."

I firmly believe you can tell a lot about someone based on the car they drive.

Dr. Ramani Durvasula:

"Driving a large, lifted truck without a practical purpose often signals a need to assert dominance or mask insecurity. Aggressive behavior in traffic can be a reflection of deeper emotional struggles."

Insecurity manifests in the workplace.

[deleted]:

I mostly see this at work.- People who are in upper management and treat others like garbage just because they can.- Being unnecessarily mean, rude, or bitter to people.- Treating new employees poorly just because you're threatened they might take your job someday.

Also, people who lie about it to fit in...

[deleted]:

Can't handle being told they're wrong or ignorant about something.

They're the only ones playing the game.

Dr. Susan David:

"People who constantly feel the need to outdo others often exhibit signs of insecurity. This behavior stems from a fear of inadequacy and a desire to prove their worth in a competitive manner. It’s important to recognize that true self-esteem comes from within, not from external validation."

Either cute old people or a very insecure couple: there's no in-between!

Dr. Laura Berman

"Joint Facebook profiles can often indicate a lack of individual identity and personal insecurity. It’s important for partners to maintain their own sense of self even within a relationship," says Dr. Berman, a renowned sex therapist and relationship expert.

Quickly assuming the worst.

Dr. William Doherty, family therapist:

Automatically assuming negative intent can be a sign of insecurity.For example:Your friend didn't pick up your call?"She's avoiding me. I don't care about her anyway."

This last sentence sums it up: everyone feels insecure sometimes.

Charlotte_Sometime:

Insecurity can manifest itself in many ways, including but not limited to:

• Being shy (not introverted)
• Consistently wearing clothes that conceal the body (like wearing the same jumper to school every day year-round)
• Wearing a hairstyle that conceals the face/eyes
• Looking down or away from people
• Not participating in social media and/or group conversations because of fear of rejection
• Always being exceptionally nice

or

• Being exceptionally b*tchy—particularly around things they are sensitive about (like if they feel inferior about their grades, they will criticize other poor performers)

or

• They may try to drag others down with them through general bullying, depending on their personality. Not all insecure people are bullies.

We are all insecure about something at some time in our lives. It's no big deal, really.

Humble bragging.

Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

"Humble bragging often stems from a deep-seated insecurity. When individuals feel the need to showcase their accomplishments subtly, it can indicate a lack of self-esteem and a desire for external validation."