OP Gets Forced To Choose Between Attending Sister's Wedding And Facing Abusers In A Cult She Left Years Ago

A 28-year-old woman says she left her family’s religious cult years ago after seven years of emotional abuse, verbal mistreatment, and the kind of damage that does not magically disappear the moment you walk out the door.

Now her sister is getting engaged and planning a wedding inside the church, where courtship means supervised interactions and no physical contact until the wedding day, because apparently romance is just another rule to follow.

And here’s the gut-punch, OP is being forced to decide between attending her sister’s big day or facing the same people and memories she fought to escape.

Two years ago, OP left her family in a religious cult due to seven years of emotional abuse and verbal mistreatment, resulting in a diagnosis of multiple mental health conditions, including PTSD.

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Despite her efforts to reconcile and apologize for leaving, her family remains solely concerned with her "salvation," showing little interest in repairing their relationship.

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In her family's church, they practice courtship instead of dating, which involves supervised interactions without physical contact until the wedding day.

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The choice to skip a wedding to avoid confronting a past trauma reflects the intricate relationship between personal healing and family obligations.

This underscores the importance of prioritizing one's mental health in the face of familial expectations.

A week ago, OP's dad hinted at their sister's courtship with a church member. To their surprise, just days later, the sister announced her engagement, skipping the courting phase.

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OP felt hurt and shocked by their sister's failure to inform them privately about her engagement. Their main concern is their sister's future within the church and her marriage to a relative stranger.

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She's torn between skipping her sister's wedding or starring in a cult reunion, but maybe a well-timed speech could break the spell on the big day.

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OP’s dad drops a hint about the sister’s courtship, and then, just days later, the sister announces an engagement like nothing happened.

Recognizing these patterns is crucial for personal growth and healing.

To go or not to go to her sister's wedding—that's the Shakespearean dilemma. Setting boundaries is the modern twist, protecting her healing without raining on the wedding parade.

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Grateful for the concern, she clarifies that her family's church is like a distant cousin to the IBLP. She's considering skipping the wedding, but cutting ties is a more challenging act than any wedding drama.

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Not a trap, but she wants her partner as a buffer for awkward conversations. If she attends, it'll be a brief visit, missing the chance to stand by her sister is hard to accept.

Scroll down to see what people had to say!

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Establishing Personal Boundaries

Setting personal boundaries is essential for maintaining emotional well-being, especially when dealing with past trauma.

Skipping the wedding—it's like RSVP'ing "No" to drama and "Yes" to healing. Why not share a peaceful meal instead?

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She's putting self-preservation first, and that's everyone's top job. No crystal ball needed; she's avoiding potential abuse and regrets by staying away.

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Absolutely agreed. In the realm of regrets, missing the wedding is a far more appealing choice than regretting attending it.

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OP is hurt not only by being left out of the news, but also by the idea of her sister marrying a relative stranger from the same system that broke her.

This is similar to the Redditor debating whether to attend a family reunion after her sister spreads false rumors.

Engaging in therapy can provide valuable support for individuals facing these dilemmas.

Therapists can help individuals explore their feelings around trauma and family relationships, offering strategies for managing anxiety and building resilience.

Developing a personalized plan for handling familial obligations can also promote a sense of agency in difficult situations.

In this scenario, prioritizing her well-being is a no-brainer; no need to RSVP for the cult's "Walking Dead" episode.

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OP, it's like a cult-produced soap opera, but sometimes, the best role is to stay far, far away for the sake of sanity.

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Proposing an honest conversation is like throwing a lifeline, but if her sister doesn't grasp it, at least she won't be weighed down by regrets. Diplomacy, the unsung hero!

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When "cult" enters the picture, it's like a "Get Out of Jail Free" card for NTA, and OP's healing journey deserves all the support.

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No "ah" status here. How about a low-drama trio celebration with her sister and the soon-to-be hubby? Intimacy wins!

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No AH situation here. Going to a cult wedding is like mending a flat tire with a chocolate bar—it's a recipe for disaster.

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Risking all that progress for a sham wedding just isn't worth it.

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Avoid the "Cult Roulette." Send congrats and support from a safe distance—better odds, zero drama!

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Her instincts are sharper than a ninja's sword—safety first! Cult escapes are like a maze, and she's wise to prioritize her well-being in the face of such uncertainty.

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It's worth considering if this wedding could be a ploy to draw her back in. Cults can be trickier than a Rubik's Cube—better to keep her distance and focus on her own path to healing.

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It's vital to prioritize her well-being, but a heartfelt presence at her sister's wedding might just be the perfect gift, wrapped in love.

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This isn't a multiple-choice test; it's a heartbreak challenge. Prioritize what's best for her and let the rest sort itself out like a messy jigsaw puzzle.

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She holds the golden ticket to the "Wedding Factory" and can skip any event without an apology.

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Cutting ties with family is like shutting a bad Netflix series—change the channel, and don't bother with reruns. A new number and a fresh start—no need to revisit that drama.

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Cults are like chameleons; they change. When she's ready to visit family, she should do her cult detective work and check into a safe motel for a drama-free reunion.

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Self-preservation first. Send a card, extend an invite for a safe meet-up, and let the drama stay far, far away.

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The simultaneous announcement might sting, but it's a wake-up call from the cult mindset. Keeping the door ajar with Christmas cards is like leaving a secret escape route in the holiday spirit.

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At a wedding, guests are either supporters or extras, and she's chosen to be an extra because she's not sold on the plot!

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Bottom line: NTA all the way.

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The church’s courtship rules make the wedding feel less like a celebration and more like a reunion with the past OP is still trying to survive.

OP says her partner is her buffer for awkward conversations, and that’s the only reason the idea of a brief visit even feels possible.

The echoes of her past might linger, but in choosing her peace, she discovers a newfound resilience. The wedding may pass, but her fortitude endures, a beacon illuminating her path forward.

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The situation faced by OP highlights the intricate struggle of reconciling personal healing with the weight of family obligations. As she stands at the crossroads of attending her sister's wedding and confronting the specters of her past, the tension between familial duty and self-preservation becomes palpable.

It is essential to acknowledge that establishing boundaries is crucial for anyone emerging from a traumatic experience, such as OP's escape from a cult. By prioritizing her own mental and emotional well-being, she may find a path that allows her to navigate these treacherous waters with greater clarity.

Ultimately, the journey towards self-compassion and understanding is paramount. This not only fosters healthier interactions with oneself but also recalibrates the dynamics within family relationships, enabling a more balanced approach to love and support amidst challenging circumstances.

OP might show up for her sister, but she’s not trying to get pulled back into the same cage.

Still torn about a family milestone, read why someone asked, “Should I skip my sister’s milestone?”