This Redditor's Stepfather Gambled Away The Family Savings, Vanished For Years, Then Came Back -And Somehow It Got Even Worse

Reddit user u/Alarmed_Knowledge297 was just seven years old when her mom married a man who would later turn their lives upside down. What started as a comfortable childhood quickly unraveled when, two months before her high school graduation, her stepdad vanished—leaving behind massive gambling debts and draining the family savings, including her college fund.

At just sixteen, the Redditor hit pause on her own dreams to help keep the household afloat. She worked for two years before earning a scholarship to a rural state university, where she graduated with a high GPA while juggling part-time jobs to avoid becoming what she called “an extra burden.”

Burned out and exhausted, she eventually stepped away from work and entrusted her hard-earned savings to her mom for emergencies. She temporarily moved in with relatives 12 hours away, hoping for some peace and distance from the chaos.

Then came the phone call. Her mom tearfully confessed that the stepdad had reappeared, begged for forgiveness, and was secretly welcomed back—only to disappear again after racking up more debt, taking all of the OP’s savings with him after promising to “start a business.”

The Redditor was furious. Years of bottled-up anger exploded in one phone call, and she hasn’t spoken to her mom since.

Now creditors are threatening legal action, her job doesn’t start until December, and the money she saved for her sister’s future is gone. She loves her family—but she’s exhausted, terrified, and wondering if she crossed the line… or if this was long overdue.

The Redditor was furious. Years of bottled-up anger exploded in one phone call, and she hasn’t spoken to her mom since.

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Here's the original post by Reddit user u/Alarmed_Knowledge297.

I (25F), an accidental baby, was 7 when my mom (52F) married a man (now 49M). They then had two daughters (now 16&10). We’re pretty well off when I was young. But 2 months before my highschool graduation, Mom said that stepdad left us and also left a huge debt due to gambling. He also took our family savings and even got my college fund. Mom had to give up many things so that she could pay some of the debt as threats were thrown to my sisters. I was 16 then and decided to postpone going to college to work and help our family out. 2 years after, I was offered a scholarship at a rural state uni so I grabbed it to get a degree.I graduated with high GPA despite having to juggle my time with my studying while working parttime to live coz I dont want to be an additional burden to my mom. I resigned and took a break at work last year as I was burned out, unhealthy & just wanted to rest. I trusted my savings to my mom, told her to use it for emergencies and went home to my relatives' home (12hr drive) to stay with them as I’m uncomfortable in our house.Last week, mom called me crying, told me that stepdad appeared last May and begged for forgiveness. They said they forgave him cause "he's still our father" and kept it a secret from me cause they knew I'll be mad. Duh. What sane person is going to forgive someone who just left his family buried in debt and appear after 8 years as if he did nothing wrong? Then she said that stepdad left again last month, creditors crashing in again saying he got debt and since there’s no divorce here, the wife has to pay for it. She also admitted that she gave all of my savings to him coz he said that he'll use it for business but then he left. I was livid.I cant believe that the money I saved up to for my sister's college fund and my settlement at another place is gone. I yelled at my mom thru the phone. Told her how could she do this and how much of a fool she is and what kind of mother she is for letting an asshole throw us in the dirt again. Years of pent up emotions burst out of me and told her was ruining my life not enough that they have to also destroy my sisters' lives by taking away their chance to have a better life just because she’s a lovesick fool. I hanged up.I'm still not talking to my mom and my sister told me that mom said I was rude for saying what I said and my sis kinda agreed with it but that she also needed the wake up call. I love my them but IDK what I can do to fix this with zero money. People are threatening to sue us if we wont be able to pay the money instantly. There were no opportunities and my work contract starts on December abut we have no time already. I'm terrified, exhausted and in dire need of money. I want to cry and I needed help coz I just want to tap out already. I still want to berate my mom coz she’s also at fault here. So AITA?

Let's see how the Reddit community reacted.

ILikeToPoopOnYou

You need to report it to the police.

Deleted user

Don't let your mom have access to your money in future.

Deleted user

You need to get away from them.

rainbookworm

NTA.

AlternativeAd3652

Never give your mom money again.

Knittingfairy09113

Time to take a look in the mirror.

Intelligent_Stop5564

Those debts are hers, not yours.

Patchwork2022

It's your own fault for giving her your money.

scemes

YTA to yourself.

Rhuthbarb

Stop solving your mom's problems.

Deleted user

She won't learn unless she hits rock bottom.

xavii117

You need to cut her off!

geriactricsmackdown

The Redditor never imagined she’d have to rebuild her life from scratch twice—especially not because of the same person. Now, with her savings gone, creditors circling, and emotions running high, she’s left questioning whether her anger crossed a line or if it was simply the breaking point after years of sacrifice.

She still loves her mom and sisters, but love doesn’t magically refill a bank account or erase betrayal. As she waits for her job to begin and searches for a way forward, one thing is certain: forgiveness may be complicated, but accountability shouldn’t be.