7 Surprising Signs Your Relationship Could Be In Trouble, According To Expert

Relationships are never as simple as they seem, and keeping the spark alive takes effort. But even with all the love and dedication in the world, certain behaviors can signal that a relationship might be headed for trouble.

Relationship expert and psychotherapist Kathy McCoy has highlighted seven key signs that may indicate a relationship is on the rocks. From unrealistic expectations to a lack of gratitude, McCoy’s insights offer a detailed look into why some couples struggle and how these habits, if left unchecked, can erode the foundation of even the most loving partnerships.

In a report for Psychology Today, McCoy explains how seemingly harmless behaviors—like avoiding conflict or having rigid expectations—can create long-term damage. With the influence of social media and the pressure to maintain “perfect” relationships, many couples find themselves falling into patterns that threaten their happiness.

Whether it’s emotional disengagement or issues like addiction and a lack of gratitude, McCoy emphasizes that recognizing these signs early can be crucial for saving a relationship.

So, if you are curious about the hidden pitfalls that could be undermining your connection, read on to learn more about the seven surprising signs that could spell trouble for your love life. Prepare for heartache!

1. Unrealistic Expectations

Expecting your partner to be perfect or never disappoint you is a recipe for disaster. McCoy explains that those who cling to the notion of a flawless relationship miss out on the joy of accepting and loving an imperfect person.

Real love, she suggests, involves embracing each other's flaws and growing together, rather than setting impossible standards that lead to disappointment and resentment.

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2. Uncompromising Attitudes

When one partner is rigid and unwilling to compromise, it can create a toxic atmosphere of contempt. This stubbornness may lead to “stonewalling”—where one person shuts down during conflicts, avoiding meaningful conversations.

Over time, this lack of communication can make it impossible for couples to resolve their issues, leaving both parties feeling unheard and dissatisfied.

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3. Lack of Conflict

While it might seem ideal to never argue, McCoy reveals that a lack of conflict could be a sign of emotional disengagement. If a couple avoids conflict altogether, it may indicate that they’ve given up on resolving their differences, leading to bottled-up resentment and, eventually, numb indifference.

Healthy disagreements, she notes, are essential for understanding and growing closer.

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Communication Breakdowns

According to Dr. Laura Berman, a renowned sex therapist, communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. When partners start avoiding difficult conversations or expressing their feelings, it can create a rift that leads to misunderstandings.

She emphasizes that actively practicing transparency, even about minor issues, fosters a culture of trust and emotional safety. Couples can benefit from setting regular check-ins to discuss feelings and concerns, ensuring that they stay connected and prevent resentment from building.

Cultivating Gratitude

Experts consistently highlight the importance of gratitude in relationships. Research by Dr. Andrew Weil, an integrative medicine expert, shows that expressing appreciation can improve emotional dynamics significantly.

He recommends couples incorporate daily gratitude practices, such as sharing three things they appreciate about each other each day. This simple act can shift focus from grievances to positive aspects of their relationship, enhancing overall satisfaction and connection. Such practices not only foster positivity but also create a buffer against potential conflicts.

4. Addictions

McCoy highlights how addictions—whether to substances, gambling, or even social media—can destroy relationships. The lies, betrayals, and broken promises associated with addiction can erode trust and goodwill.

It’s not just about substance abuse; addictions like overspending and infidelity also put relationships at risk, requiring professional help to overcome.

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5. Differences in Sexual Desire

Sex is a significant part of most relationships, and differences in sexual desire can create tension if not addressed. McCoy advises that partners find ways to compromise and understand each other’s needs.

A lack of intimacy can lead to feelings of rejection and dissatisfaction, straining the emotional connection that keeps couples close.

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6. Negative Predictions

Constantly fearing the worst or projecting past relationship issues onto a current partner can damage trust. McCoy shares the example of a woman who, due to her past experiences, became overly suspicious of her partner.

Her actions eventually pushed him away, proving that dwelling on negative thoughts can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Dr. Eli Finkel, a leading researcher in relationships, suggests that unrealistic expectations often stem from societal ideals, which can put undue pressure on couples. His research indicates that couples who focus on realistic, attainable goals experience higher satisfaction.

Finkel advises couples to engage in open dialogues about their expectations and to adapt their perspectives based on each other’s needs. By establishing shared goals rather than adhering to external benchmarks, partners can cultivate deeper intimacy and understanding, ultimately strengthening their bond.

7. Lack of Affection and Gratitude

Simple gestures like holding hands, hugging, or sharing inside jokes are the glue that holds couples together. McCoy warns that when couples get too comfortable, they might stop expressing gratitude or showing affection, leading to emotional distance.

Small acts of kindness and appreciation are crucial for maintaining a strong bond and demonstrating love beyond words.

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So, if you’ve spotted any of these red flags in your relationship, it might be time for a little self-check—before you end up single and scrolling through exes’ social media feeds with regret. Remember, love is messy, but it doesn’t have to be doomed—just work on fixing those flaws!

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Research-Based Understanding

In summary, recognizing these signs early on can be pivotal in maintaining a healthy relationship. Experts like Dr. William Doherty emphasize that proactive communication and realistic expectations are essential for long-term satisfaction.

By integrating practices such as gratitude exercises and regular emotional check-ins, couples can build resilience against common pitfalls. Ultimately, relationships require continuous effort, and staying attuned to each other's needs can lead to deeper connections and fulfillment.