MIL Enraged After Future Daughter-In-Law Denies "Her Dream" Of Planning Son's Wedding
"She's never going to let me have the day how I want it"
Although many couples prefer to work with professionals to help manage their wedding plans, there are several reasons why they may decide to take on all the duties and planning themselves. Perhaps they have a limited budget, or maybe they simply adore the possibilities of do-it-yourself projects.
In any case, you can personally create the wedding of your dreams, even if it can occasionally feel extremely overwhelming. The original poster of today's story shows that she has always wanted to plan her own wedding, but her soon-to-be mother-in-law has her own plans as well.
In fact, the fiancé's mom is extremely controlling. She has been taking various pictures of her son throughout his life and has almost documented every second of his existence.
Up until he was 17, she would choose what clothes he wore and make all decisions for him. As a teenager, she would always tell the OP's fiancé that she would be the one planning his wedding and that whoever he found would "just have to be fine with that."
Well, immediately after the OP's fiancé proposed, his mom began speaking to her as if she were her child. She was furious when the OP told her that she didn't have any right to control any aspect of the wedding.
It didn't end there, and you can read the whole story as you scroll down below.
The OP writes
Reddit/OliverjenkisOP's MIL would choose what clothes her fiancé wore and made all decisions for him
Reddit/OliverjenkisUnderstanding Family Roles and Expectations
Dr. Clara Bennett, a sociologist at Columbia University, highlights how family roles and expectations can shape relationships, particularly in wedding planning.
Her research indicates that when family members have conflicting visions of roles, it can lead to significant tension and misunderstanding.
Understanding the underlying motivations behind these expectations is crucial for navigating these dynamics.
She told the OP that she was an AH for not letting her "live out her dream"
Reddit/Oliverjenkis
She has gone no contact for the past few days, despite her trying multiple times to explain
Reddit/Oliverjenkis
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:
I'm not going to allow photos at my wedding, and therefore I feel like I could be seen as an AH.I believe I may be the AH because I could be overreacting to the situation, and I might just need to leave it alone. I have an underlying feeling that I am creating unnecessary conflict and being an AH.The Reddit post got hundreds of comments, and here are some of the most upvoted ones
Reddit/Oliverjenkis
She's gone no contact for the past few days
Reddit/Oliverjenkis
When one family member feels entitled to dictate decisions, it can create feelings of resentment among others.
Studies suggest that a lack of clear communication about roles and expectations can exacerbate conflicts.
According to research published in the Journal of Family Issues, families that engage in collaborative planning tend to experience less conflict and greater satisfaction.
OP's boyfriend needs to back her up
Reddit/Oliverjenkis
This Redditor wants to know where OP's fiancé is in all of this
Reddit/Oliverjenkis
Strategies for Navigating Family Dynamics
Experts recommend establishing open lines of communication regarding wedding planning to ensure everyone's voices are heard.
Creating a family agreement about roles and expectations can help clarify responsibilities and reduce conflict.
Research indicates that when families work together collaboratively, they can create more harmonious relationships and enjoyable experiences.
This is a preview of every future event and holiday
Reddit/Oliverjenkis
Her son should be the one telling her to back off
Reddit/Oliverjenkis
Additionally, practicing empathy and understanding each other's perspectives can help create a more supportive environment.
Studies show that fostering empathy during discussions can lead to better conflict resolution and stronger family bonds.
By prioritizing open communication, families can navigate wedding planning challenges more effectively.
She's mad that the OP is not tagging along
Reddit/Oliverjenkis
Start out with a spine or you will regret it
Reddit/Oliverjenkis
Redditors say that the OP should feel relieved rather than punished that the MIL decided to break off communication! She was encouraged to simply carry out her duties and ensure that all of her vendors have passwords on file so that she cannot alter anything behind her back.
Though it can be a challenging battle, the OP was encouraged to stand firm and hold her ground as she was declared not the AH.
Psychological Analysis
This situation illustrates the challenges that arise when family expectations clash with individual desires.
Understanding each other's perspectives is key to resolving conflicts and ensuring a harmonious planning process.
Analysis generated by AI
Analysis & Alternative Approaches
In summary, navigating family dynamics during significant events like weddings requires careful communication and understanding.
By fostering a culture of collaboration and respect, families can create positive experiences and strengthen their relationships.
