31 Parents Shared The Weirdest Things Their Kids Told Them And Now We All Need Therapy
"Is it spooky to live that close to a graveyard? Not during the day."
Kids have a talent for saying the strangest things at the exact wrong moment, and that is part of what makes parenting so unforgettable. One minute everything is normal, the next minute a child is explaining a nightmare theory with complete confidence.
In this roundup, parents shared the weirdest, funniest, and most unsettling things their kids told them, from innocent misunderstandings to comments that sounded way too creepy for comfort. The stories are short, but the reactions they sparked are unforgettable.
Some of these lines are hilarious, some are deeply unsettling, and a few are the kind you do not forget before bed. Read on.
1. Well, you wanted to know...
"Not my kid, but a little girl in my son’s kindergarten class told me she lives across the street from a cemetery. I asked her if it was spooky to live that close to a graveyard, and she said very matter-of-factly, “Not during the day.
But at night, they all walk up to our windows and scream."
reddit2. He just wants to be prepared.
"My five-year-old said he was gonna miss me when I was dead… in five days. Two days later, I was really poorly with COVID; I thought that was it for me, honestly.
Then one day he asked me if I’d like a (memorial) bench when I die. I have a morbid kid."
reddit3. A funny one.
"I was playing 'got your nose' with my two-year-old nephew when the power went out, and the whole house went pitch black. He looked at me and said, “(Name), did you take my eyes?"
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4. Where did this come from?
"Just after my little brother was born, my mom, three-year-old sister, and I were talking about what not to do around the baby. Things like not leaving small toys out or throwing balls around the baby.
After a few minutes, my sister chimed in and said, 'And you don't cut off babies' lips with a sharp knife.'"
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5. "Tyler is the man sleeping in my bed."
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6. Reincarnation?
"My daughter was four, and while we were eating breakfast one morning, she said, “I was on a mountain once, and my mom and dad died, and then I woke up and was in this house with you and mama.” Then we just sat there for a few seconds and looked at each other.
Then she said she wanted to watch Paw Patrol."
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7. Waving will never be the same after this.
"When my sister was little (probably three or four), my mom said she would wave out the window when they were going down the interstate. When my mom asked who she was waving at, she said, “That family on the side of the road.
They died there in the car crash. Do you see them?
They’re waving at us.”"
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8. "Got real"
"My son woke up, and his shirt was all torn up as if it had been slashed. I asked him what happened, and he said he had a dream that "got real.""
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9. Just in case...
"My three-year-old came up to me, gave me a hug, then whispered in my ear, 'Don't go to work; you will die in a wall.'"
I drive to work and work in construction. I decided to work from home that day."
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10. Try not to think about it.
"I don't have kids, but a small child, maybe six years old, approached me while I was on a walk one time, looked me dead in the eyes, and said, 'You are hunted as well.'"
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11. So, so creepy.
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12. Dark imagination.
"My then three-year-old had a few gems:
Him: I was so mad at you; I was gonna destroy you.
Me: Yeah? How so?
Him: I was gonna throw you in a volcano.
Me: Why didn’t you?
Him: I don’t know where a volcano is.
Me: So we good?
Him: For now…
The other one:
Him: Too bad the babysitter [passed away].
Me: No, she didn’t, bud; she’s just not here today.
Him: Or she’s in the freezer (while staring at the freezer).
Me: You’re pretty creepy sometimes, bud.
Him: Just smiles."
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And if you think kids are the only ones with spooky stories, these vintage photos of grandparents built different will throw you off.
13. The myth says kids can see angels.
"My son was around three at the time. He kept refusing to go downstairs because that’s where angel man was, and angel man wanted to hurt the family."
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14. The kid knows something...
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15. Seemingly, she did meet him.
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16. The stuffed toy got mad at him.
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17. Just a coincidence... Keep repeating that until you believe it.
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18. "Humans are a prototype"
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19. A real nightmare indeed.
"My son tells me stories of "scary Uncle Michael" in his bedroom at night. He says he's a grey man that looks like his uncle, and he climbs on walls and calls out to him, and one night he tried to eat him.
Yep, nightmare fuel."
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20. "We are all in the same cage"
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21. Sleep peacefully; an old lady watches over you.
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22. Well, she has to do something with all those teeth.
"My five-year-old was speculating that the tooth fairy probably takes the teeth to put in her own mouth so that she has millions of teeth in her mouth. Yikes."
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23. Now she can take a relaxing shower.
"Momma, you can't take a shower; all your skin will come off."
"No, it won't."
"Maybe not today."
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24. "I’m happy to tell you that she isn’t scary, creepy, or crazy after getting help."
"Not my kid, but one of my friend's daughters, when she was about five or six, did this. She was brushing one of her doll's hair and, in a singsong voice, said, 'First I’m going to kill brother, then mommy, then daddy, then I’m going to go live in the woods with you.'
My friend is her dad, and he overheard her. He said he backed up slowly, went outside, and called her mom.
She went through a bit of therapy and is now leading a pleasant life in fifth grade. I’m happy to tell you that she isn’t scary, creepy, or crazy after getting help."
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25. A story and child's imagination - limitless duo.
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26. Maybe he just needs friends...
"My kid keeps talking about the babies on the walls of his bedroom. Very off-putting."
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27. Not yet...
"My youngest (was four) was on the carpet playing with his cars.
Son: I can’t wait to get a new house when this house explodes.
Me: (half listening) Uh-huh, sure, that sounds… wait, what??
Son: Yeah, when our house explodes, be ready, and we’ll just run out real fast (and then he turned back to playing with cars like nothing was said).
Thankfully, that was five years ago, and my house has not exploded."
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28. It makes sense, just in a creepy way.
"One time, my son was drinking one of those Danimal yogurt drink things with the monkey on it. He looked at the bottle and whispered, 'I’m drinking your blood' at it."
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29. Nobody likes clowns.
"My son was talking about his friend the 'upside-down clown' while I was putting him to bed one night. Needless to say, I'm not a fan of that concept."
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30. A scientist
"My three-year-old nephew peeled off one of his toenails. When asked why, he said, 'To see my skeleton.'"
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31. Granddaughter-grandfather usual playing.
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We must admit some stories were so, so creepy. There are so many coincidences.
But let's attribute that to children's imagination and sleep well tonight.
After a kid told you cemetery neighbors “scream” at night, see 81 Visual Anomalies that will make your logic spin.
