Why I Refused to Help a Stranger in Need – Am I the Jerk?
AITA for refusing to help an online acquaintance in need, despite her personal challenges and financial struggles?
A 20-day online chat turned into a full-on moral standoff when OP said “no” to helping a stranger who claimed she was struggling. It wasn’t a sudden decision either, OP had been talking to her for weeks, trying to get her to swap numbers, and she kept dodging that one simple step.
On paper, she sounded sympathetic, she had a kid, she said she was going through things, and OP was willing to listen and help when they could. But the real complication came when money entered the picture, she allegedly sent what she had to her mom instead of using it for her and her child, and then tried to justify it.
OP’s refusal was about more than cash, it was about what kind of priorities you think a parent should have when money is tight.
Original Post
So basically I've been talking to someone on a social media site for about 20 days now, and I've tried getting them to swap numbers with me, and they refuse to. Well she has a kid, and she said she's going through some things.
Which I get we all are, and I don't mind listening to them vent or even helping when I can including monetarily when I can. However I told her that I'm not willing to help her, and here's my reason.
For one I haven't heard her voice. I have no clue if she's real or not except for the few post she has on tiktok, but the BIGGEST reason was because she has a kid and for perfect clarity before you read any further no the child isn't the reason I said no.
It's because instead of using what money she had for her and her son or for rent she sent money to her mom or so she says that's what she did with it, and because she chose her mom over her kid I'm not willing to try and bail her out of her financial problem. She even had the audacity to try and justify sending the money to her mom.
In my opinion NOTHING justifies not taking care of a child first.
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This also echoes the AITA post about someone refusing to tell their family about therapy, where privacy boundaries turned into family tension.
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OP kept asking for a number swap during those 20 days, and every time she refused, the whole situation felt more suspicious.
She brought up her kid and her struggles, but OP said the venting was fine while the fundraising plan was not.
The moment she claimed she sent her money to her mom instead of rent or her child, OP decided that was a hard line.
After she tried to justify putting her mom first, OP refused to “bail her out,” and now everyone in the comments has to judge that call.
What are your thoughts on this situation? Share your perspective in the comments below.
OP isn’t just asking “am I wrong,” they’re wondering why a stranger chose her mom over her own kid.
Before you judge this refusal, read how one person risked their family’s arranged-marriage rules to fight for love with a partner from another culture: standing up for love over arranged marriage.
