Redditor Asks If She's A**hole For Checking Husband's Dash Cam Footage Without His Permission To Find Out If He Abandoned Their Family Dog
"He's either an idiot, or he wanted to be caught."
Our pets form an integral part of our family. They're our fur kids and our best buddies.
So, Reddit user u/lyingwifedog was understandably devastated when she received a phone call from her husband saying their dog had gone missing. However, there was more to the story than meets the eye, and the Redditor shared the details in the r/AITA (Am I The A**hole?) subreddit.
She explained that she and her daughter had recently gone on a trip out of state while her husband stayed home and was supposed to take care of their dog. On the last day of their trip, the OP received a call from her husband saying their dog, Ellie, had run away.
He said Ellie got away from him at the park, and he couldn't find her. The OP stated that Ellie is a small dog and is 13 years old, so the idea of her running away like that seemed questionable.
When the OP and her daughter returned home, her husband seemed suspiciously okay about what had happened. The Redditor noted that her husband has always been jealous of the attention the family gave to Ellie.
A few days later, the OP received a call from an animal rescue saying they had found Ellie. When she told her husband, he seemed insincere in his relief.
He claimed that someone must have stolen Ellie and then abandoned her. However, that scenario didn't make sense to the OP.
So, one night, while her husband was out with friends, the OP checked the footage from his dash cam. Clear as day, the footage showed her husband dropping Ellie off in the middle of nowhere and leaving her.
The OP was furious with her husband. When she confronted him, he said he dropped her there so that she could "find a farm and have a better life."
The following day, the Redditor's husband was angry with her for checking his dash cam footage without his permission. Now, the OP is wondering if she's the a**hole here.
The Redditor asked if she's an a**hole for checking her husband's dash cam footage without his permission.
Reddit/lyingwifedogShe explained that she and her daughter had recently gone on a trip out of state while her husband stayed home and was supposed to be taking care of their dog.

Trust and Privacy in Relationships
Dr. Rachel Adams from UCLA emphasizes that trust is a cornerstone of any relationship, and breaches of privacy can seriously undermine that trust.
Her research indicates that individuals often feel betrayed when their personal boundaries are crossed, leading to feelings of insecurity and defensiveness.
When partners do not respect each other's privacy, it can create an atmosphere of suspicion and resentment.
The OP received a call from her husband saying their dog Ellie had run away.
He said Ellie got away from him at the park, and he couldn't find her.
According to Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship researcher and author, "The violation of privacy can create significant relational distress, as it undermines trust." Understanding the motivations behind such breaches can help couples navigate these issues more effectively and rebuild trust. She emphasizes that "communicating openly about boundaries is crucial in fostering a trusting relationship," which is essential for maintaining a healthy partnership.
The OP says Ellie is a small dog, and she's 13 years old, so the idea of her running away like that seemed suspicious.
When the OP and her daughter returned home, her husband seemed suspiciously okay about what had happened.
The Importance of Boundaries in Healthy Relationships
Establishing clear boundaries is essential in maintaining a healthy relationship dynamic.
Dr. Anna Smith emphasizes that healthy boundaries foster mutual respect and understanding, allowing partners to feel safe in expressing their needs.
When boundaries are respected, it enhances emotional intimacy and strengthens the partnership.
The Redditor says her husband has always been jealous of the attention the family gave to Ellie.
A few days later, the OP got a call from an animal rescue saying they had found Ellie.
Psychological research suggests that discussing boundaries in a non-confrontational manner can prevent misunderstandings and conflicts.
Utilizing 'I' statements rather than accusatory language can help create a more constructive dialogue.
By framing conversations around personal feelings rather than blame, partners can foster a more supportive environment.
When she told her husband, he seemed insincere with his relief.
He said someone must have stolen Ellie and then abandoned her.
What are your thoughts on this situation? Do you think the OP will ever be able to forgive her husband for such a cruel act, or should she cut her losses and run?
We would love to hear your opinions on this. You can share your thoughts with us in the comment section.
So, one night, while her husband was out with friends, the OP checked the footage from his dash cam.
The OP was furious with her husband.
Now the OP is wondering if she's the a**hole here.
Here's how people reacted.
Reddit/GardenSafe8519
"It's animal cruelty."
Reddit/Stunning-Evening-585
NTA.
Reddit/WhiteJadedButterfly
"Unforgivable."
Reddit/angie50576
"He abandoned a family member."
Reddit/Athenacosplay
"He's either an idiot, or he wanted to be caught."
Reddit/RickRussellTX
"Your husband did something immensely cruel."
Reddit/sarpon6
"I would never look at him the same again."
Reddit/stfrances2968
Psychological Analysis
This situation highlights the complexities of trust and privacy within relationships. When one partner feels the need to invade privacy, it often stems from underlying insecurities or fears. Addressing these concerns openly can facilitate healthier communication and rebuild trust over time.
Analysis generated by AI
Analysis & Alternative Approaches
Ultimately, trust and boundaries are critical elements in maintaining healthy relationships.
Research shows that clear communication about privacy and expectations can prevent conflicts and enhance relationship satisfaction.
By addressing these issues openly, couples can strengthen their connection and navigate challenges more effectively.