Woman Gets Slammed For "Working Her Teenage ADHD Child To Death" With Chores, Redditors Think Otherwise

When it comes to housework, kids can be experts at delaying, making excuses, resisting, and refusing. Parents are often quite concerned about this, leading to arguments between kids and their parents.

In order to socialize your children during the 18 to 20 years they live with you, one of your jobs as parents is to assist them in acquiring these adult traits. Therefore, it should not come as a surprise that they refuse to help around the house, and you should possibly accept and expect it.

Even though it can be more challenging at first, insisting that youngsters help with chores is beneficial for them. The OP in today's story has a 14-year-old daughter who has been diagnosed with ADHD and currently attends a private school on a scholarship.

Her daughter has a friend who complains about how hard her parents are on her, and the OP sympathized with her. The friend was shocked to find the OP's daughter doing certain chores, and it didn't sit well with her, especially when she saw the chore board.

The OP feels like she's doing the right thing by ensuring her daughter can keep up with her responsibilities and take care of herself because she won't always be around. Her friends are divided about the issue; hence, she brought it to the AITA subreddit group for a decision. 

The Headline...

u/Introvertedlikewoah

She complained a lot about how hard her parents are on her and how much she cries because of it

u/Introvertedlikewoah

She is going to be an adult in 4 years, and I need to be sure that she can manage household responsibilities on her own

u/Introvertedlikewoah

Understanding Parenting Approaches

Dr. Susan Park, a developmental psychologist, notes that parenting styles can significantly affect children's emotional well-being.

Her research shows that overly rigid expectations can lead to feelings of inadequacy in children, particularly those with ADHD.

In this case, the mother’s approach may be inadvertently causing stress for her daughter, who is already navigating challenges related to her condition.

Understanding Parental Expectations

Dr. Anna Roberts, a developmental psychologist, explains that parental expectations can significantly shape children's perceptions of responsibility and work ethic. In cases where a child is perceived as having ADHD, the balance between expectations and support becomes even more critical. The mother’s approach to chores may stem from a desire to instill discipline but could inadvertently overwhelm the child, leading to frustration and resistance.

Research published in the Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology indicates that children with ADHD may struggle with executive functioning, making it difficult to manage multiple tasks without appropriate guidance and support.

She doesn't have to do chores, but she must if she wants an allowance

u/Introvertedlikewoah

And the comments roll in...

Reddit

Teaching your child to take care of herself is a good thing

Reddit

Studies in child psychology indicate that children with ADHD often thrive in environments that offer flexibility and understanding.

When parents impose strict responsibilities without considering their child's unique needs, it can exacerbate feelings of frustration and overwhelm.

Understanding these dynamics is essential for effective parenting.

Moreover, a behavioral therapist emphasizes that rigid expectations can lead to anxiety, particularly for children who may already feel different due to their ADHD diagnosis. The pressure to perform at a level that may not be realistic can contribute to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. Studies suggest that providing structure while allowing for flexibility can help children with ADHD thrive.

Implementing strategies such as breaking tasks into manageable parts and celebrating small successes can foster a positive learning environment.

You are teaching her quite well

Reddit

Your system sounds perfectly fine

Reddit

Treating your child like she's incompetent makes everything worse

Reddit

Promoting Healthy Parenting Practices

Experts recommend adopting a strengths-based approach when parenting children with ADHD.

This involves recognizing and nurturing a child’s individual capabilities rather than focusing solely on their challenges.

By celebrating small successes, parents can help build confidence and resilience in their children.

Supporting Children with ADHD

To better support children with ADHD, experts recommend creating a collaborative approach to chores and responsibilities. Dr. Russell Barkley, a leading researcher in ADHD, advocates for involving children in the decision-making process regarding their tasks. This inclusion fosters a sense of ownership and accountability, which can enhance motivation and compliance.

Research shows that children who feel empowered to make choices about their responsibilities are more likely to engage positively with those tasks.

This Redditor is rephrasing the story properly

Reddit

The other girl's mom needs to stay in her lane

Reddit

You're a good parent teaching your kids personal responsibility

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Research suggests that incorporating flexibility into chore assignments can alleviate stress for children with ADHD.

Allowing children to choose their tasks or providing options can empower them and enhance their sense of autonomy.

This approach can lead to a more positive relationship between parent and child.

Additionally, maintaining an open line of communication about feelings and struggles can help children articulate their needs. A supportive environment that encourages children to express their emotions without fear of judgment is crucial for their emotional development. Studies indicate that children who feel understood are more likely to develop coping strategies that promote resilience and self-efficacy.

Ultimately, fostering a positive, supportive atmosphere can significantly enhance the experiences of children with ADHD.

It is very difficult to stay organized

Reddit

The OP revealed that it did bother her

Reddit

Here's a story that everyone can learn something from

Reddit

Navigating Responsibilities with Understanding

Addressing the emotional needs of children is essential for effective parenting.

Dr. Lisa Thompson, a child psychologist, emphasizes that understanding a child's emotional state can guide parents in setting appropriate expectations.

Regular check-ins about feelings can help parents adjust their approaches to better align with their child's needs.

Your daughter is functioning just fine with the list

Reddit

You better prepared your daughter for the real world

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You are teaching her that she can still lead a normal life

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Research shows that open communication between parents and children can significantly improve emotional regulation and reduce conflicts.

Encouraging children to express their feelings about chores can foster a collaborative environment where both parties feel heard.

This approach can lead to more harmonious family dynamics.

She doesn't lose anything, just winning

Reddit

It sounds like the friend is being raised to have no life skills

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She earns and learns some life skills as well

Reddit

The Importance of Empathy in Parenting

Empathy is a crucial component of effective parenting.

When parents practice empathy, they are better equipped to understand their child's perspective and emotional needs.

This understanding can lead to more compassionate responses and reduce feelings of frustration on both sides.

That is not super her business

Reddit

This Redditor would properly cut the relationship between the two

Reddit

Do what works for you and your family

Reddit

Ultimately, fostering a supportive and understanding environment is vital for children with ADHD.

By prioritizing emotional health and flexibility in responsibilities, parents can help their children thrive.

This approach not only benefits the child but also strengthens the parent-child relationship.

According to research, kids who perform chores have stronger self-esteem, are more responsible, and can handle frustration and defer pleasure better, all of which help them succeed in school. The OP only had good intentions in making her daughter do chores, and Redditors understood that.

What do you think about the OP's actions? Leave your opinions about this story in the comments below.

Psychological Analysis

This situation reflects the challenges of managing expectations for children with ADHD. Often, parents may not recognize the impact of their demands on a child's self-esteem and emotional well-being. Addressing these challenges with empathy and support can foster healthier relationships and promote emotional growth in children.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Psychologists emphasize that understanding the unique challenges faced by children with ADHD is crucial for fostering their emotional and behavioral development. By promoting collaboration and open communication, parents can create supportive environments that encourage growth and resilience. Ultimately, these practices lead to healthier family dynamics and empower children to navigate their responsibilities confidently.

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Understanding parenting dynamics is crucial for supporting children with ADHD.

As noted by Dr. Madeline Levine, a renowned child psychologist, "Empathy and understanding in parenting can lead to better emotional outcomes for children, especially those with ADHD." Her insights emphasize the importance of fostering a supportive environment for children facing these challenges.