Redditor Outraged As Mom Gives Away Clothes Without Permission
"I don't like your attitude," she told her mom.
A 19-year-old woman refused to let her mom give away her favorite denim vest, and it turned a casual family clothing hand-me-down into a full-on dinner disaster.
In this house, clothes keep getting passed around, sometimes with permission, sometimes without. This time, the request was specific: her mom wanted to give the vest to her goddaughter. OP said no, and instead of hearing her out, her mom snapped back, then later scolded her for embarrassing her in front of everyone at the table.
Now OP is sitting there wondering if she crossed a line, or if her mom just took “sharing” way too far.
After her strong reaction to her mom giving away her clothes, the OP wonders if she was the a-hole.
RedditShe has received and given clothes over the years.
RedditFamily relationships often involve complex dynamics, particularly when personal boundaries are not respected.
The OP was asked if she could give away her denim vest to her mom's goddaughter.
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But this time, she did not allow her favorite vest to be given away. She made a strong remark to her mom.
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That denim vest was supposed to go to the goddaughter, but OP made it clear at the worst possible time for a peaceful conversation.
The reaction of the child in this scenario illustrates the emotional impact of boundary violations.
After what happened at dinner, the mom reprimanded the OP for publicly embarrassing her.
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The OP's dad tried to get the two to apologize to each other. He was late for work because of his speech.
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After OP pushed back, the mom hit her with bitter words, and the mood at dinner instantly curdled.
It’s the same kind of conflict as turning down a friend’s urgent crisis to protect your finances.
Encouraging Assertive Communication
To address boundary violations effectively, it is essential to engage in assertive communication.
She expressed her feelings about those clothes, but her mom did not listen to her.
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After the mom hit back at her with bitter words, the OP received the silent treatment from her mom.
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Then Dad tried to smooth things over by getting everyone to apologize, but he was late for work because of it.
Individuals can benefit from discussing their expectations openly with family members, ensuring everyone is on the same page.
After what happened, the OP's boyfriend advised her to stay home less often by looking for another job.
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What would the mom feel if the OP did the same kind of thing to her?
As Redditors suggested, the OP should try it with her mom's favorite piece of clothing.
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Even the boyfriend got involved, telling OP to stay home less often, which basically made the whole “don’t touch my stuff” fight feel bigger than clothes.
Considering the strained relationship with her mom, it may be wise for OP to plan a move out, although it might not be immediately feasible given her age. Following her boyfriend's advice, she could start by finding a job to gain financial independence.
This way, she does not have to deal with her mom's attitude. She might have to lock up her closet, though. Who knows? Maybe the mother will attempt to give away her clothes.
One user even suggested giving the wedding dress away.
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Giving away the mom's jewelry might work too.
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It just does not make sense for the mom to give away something she does not even own.
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In the context of the Redditor's experience, the incident of a mother giving away her child's clothes without consent starkly illustrates a breakdown in mutual respect within the family dynamic. The mother's disregard for these boundaries not only disrespects the child's feelings but also risks fostering resentment. The violation of trust in this scenario highlights how crucial it is for parents to engage in open communication and to acknowledge their children's rights to privacy and ownership. This situation serves as a reminder that respecting boundaries is not merely a guideline but a cornerstone of healthy familial relationships, paving the way for emotional well-being and mutual understanding.
The family dinner did not end well, and OP may be stuck managing a closet that keeps getting targeted.
Still debating boundaries, read about refusing to lend money after a friend’s reckless spending.