AITA for Advising Friend to Confess Feelings, Then Developing Feelings for Crush?

A 28-year-old woman refused to let her friend stay stuck in “maybe someday” territory, and it worked. She pushed Sharon (26F) to finally confess her feelings for Alex (30M), the mutual crush Sharon talked about nonstop.

But the universe has a sense of humor. After OP encouraged the confession, Alex admitted he liked Sharon too, and the two started dating. OP should have been thrilled, and she was, until she started catching feelings for Alex herself, right in the middle of her best friend’s new relationship.

Now OP is stuck wondering if her “be brave” push made her accidentally start a real love triangle.

Original Post

So I'm (28F) and have a close friend, Sharon (26F), who had a massive crush on our mutual friend, Alex (30M). Sharon would always talk about how much she liked Alex but was too shy to confess.

I encouraged her to be brave, telling her it's better to know how he feels than wonder forever. Interestingly, after I pushed her, Alex revealed he had feelings for Sharon too!

They started dating, and I was ecstatic for them. But here's where things get tricky.

As I spent more time with them, I realized I was catching feelings for Alex myself. It was unexpected and honestly made me feel guilty.

I hadn't meant to develop romantic feelings for him. Now, I'm torn between my loyalty to Sharon and my newfound attraction to Alex.

I feel like I've betrayed her trust by encouraging their relationship while harboring my own feelings. Should I come clean to them about this love triangle that I inadvertently created?

Is it fair to Sharon for me to keep this a secret? I'm genuinely conflicted about the right thing to do.

What's your take on this messy situation? So AITA?

The Love Triangle Dilemma

This love triangle is a classic example of how quickly emotions can shift in friendships. The OP initially plays the role of a supportive friend, pushing Sharon to express her feelings for Alex. But when the OP unexpectedly develops feelings herself, it complicates things in a way that many can relate to—especially in close-knit friend groups where romantic interests can overlap.

This resonates with readers because it exposes the vulnerabilities we all face in relationships. The OP’s initial encouragement seems selfless, yet it reveals a deeper layer of potential selfishness when her own feelings come into play. How often do we find ourselves in a similar position, torn between loyalty to a friend and our own desires?

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That confession-and-dating twist is supposed to be the happy ending, but it immediately turned into a loyalty test the moment OP realized she wanted Alex too.

The Moral Grey Area

The OP is caught in a moral grey area that many people know all too well. On one hand, she genuinely wanted to help Sharon, but on the other, she’s now considering whether to confess her own feelings for Alex, which could hurt her friend. This introduces a conflict that raises questions about friendship loyalty and personal happiness.

As the OP weighs her options, readers can’t help but wonder: is honesty the best policy, or could confessing her feelings ruin both friendships? This tension between personal desires and the fear of upsetting others makes the situation relatable to anyone who’s navigated similar romantic entanglements.

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While Sharon and Alex are building a relationship, OP is quietly battling guilt because she knows her own feelings were not part of the original plan.

Also check out the AITA about introducing a best friend to a mutual crush, then catching feelings for both.

Community Reactions

The reactions from the Reddit community highlight a fascinating divide. Some users are quick to side with Sharon, emphasizing the importance of loyalty in friendships. Others argue that feelings can’t be controlled, so the OP shouldn’t feel guilty about her emotions. This split reflects a broader societal debate about the complexities of love and friendship. Some commenters might have faced similar dilemmas, while others might see the OP's actions as a betrayal. It's a reminder that every relationship scenario is nuanced and that people often interpret actions through their own experiences.

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The worst part is that OP basically helped create the situation by telling Sharon it’s better to know than wonder, and now she’s wondering what “knowing” costs.

This story encapsulates the emotional fallout that can arise in situations where friendships and romantic feelings collide. The OP’s decision to support Sharon was undoubtedly well-intentioned, but the unexpected twist of developing feelings for Alex shows how unpredictable emotions can be.

Many readers can empathize with the OP’s internal struggle. Should she come clean to Sharon, risking their friendship, or keep her feelings to herself and potentially let resentment fester? In real life, these decisions often come with no easy answers, and the fear of losing a friendship can weigh heavily on someone torn between two people they care about.

Comment from u/nature_lover999

With Sharon trusting OP as her hype person, OP has to decide whether keeping this secret is protecting her friend or just avoiding the fallout.

What's your opinion on this situation? Join the conversation!.

The Bigger Picture

This complicated love triangle serves as a reminder of the intricate dance between friendship and romance. Many of us have found ourselves in similar situations, questioning our loyalties and desires. What do you think the OP should do? Should she risk damaging her friendship with Sharon for a shot at love with Alex, or is it better to suppress her feelings for the sake of their friendship? The tension between honesty and loyalty is a timeless struggle that resonates across many relationships.

Why This Matters

This tale of a love triangle highlights how quickly emotions can shift, especially within close friendships. The OP, initially a supportive friend to Sharon, finds herself in a complicated situation after developing feelings for Alex, the very person she encouraged Sharon to pursue. This twist reveals a common human experience: the struggle between loyalty to friends and the unexpected emergence of personal desires, leaving the OP feeling guilty and conflicted. Ultimately, her dilemma resonates with anyone who's ever faced a similar crossroads in their relationships.

Sharon might not mind OP confessing, but she will absolutely mind feeling like she got played by the very person who pushed the first move.

Curious if advising Sharon and Alex was “crossing the line”? Read this love-triangle verdict.