AITA for Disagreeing with Partner over MILs Last-Minute Stay Request?

AITA for agreeing to have my mom stay at our house without considering my partner's feelings, leading to a miscommunication and frustration?

Damjan

Published in Interesting
25 Dec 2025

AITA for Disagreeing with Partner over MILs Last-Minute Stay Request?

In the bustling world of relationships, the complexities of communication can often lead to unexpected misunderstandings. One Reddit user recently found himself at the center of such a situation, navigating the delicate balance between family obligations and partnership dynamics.

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The original poster (OP) shared a scenario where his mother, amid a challenging move, requested to stay at his and his partner's home with only two days' notice. While OP felt it was a simple matter of intent versus wording, his partner expressed frustration, feeling pressured by the way the request was framed.

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This thread dives deep into the nuances of asking for permission and the expectations that come with it. As OP grapples with his perception of social cues and his partner's feelings, the conversation raises essential questions about respect, communication styles, and the role of family in a couple's life.

Was OP wrong to agree to his mother's stay without consulting his partner first? Or is his partner's reaction an overreaction to a well-meaning request?

Join the discussion as we explore the intricacies of this relationship dynamic and share your insights on navigating family matters within a partnership.

Original Post

I (28M) and my partner (27F) live together. My mother is moving to our city from across the country.

She’s been quite exhausted with the move since he’s had to pack an entire house alone with minimal assistance. The move is complex - buying a new house here, selling the old house there, and packing up decades of family mementos and furniture in preparation.

She finally secured a house closure date, and she asked to stay at our house for a couple nights before the formal move-in date. Unfortunately, she was unable to provide adequate notice (asking 2 days in advance), which everyone acknowledges is not ideal, but we still accommodate for.

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She asked me first, I said ofc, and communicated to my partner. Yesterday, she reached out to my partner separately to ask if it was ok with her too.

My partner of course said yes, but mentioned to me that she was frustrated since it put my partner in an awkward position where she felt obligated to say yes. My partner would have rathered the call be more like “im just giving you a heads up that i’ll be staying, and that i’m sorry for the late notice,” instead of asking “just checking, is it ok that i stay.” I however didn’t understand her frustration.

My position is that the precise choice of words matters less than the intent, which in this case is respectful communication that my mom will be staying. I didn’t think that the precise choice of words mattered here.

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i definitely lack social intelligence in many cases, and i appreciate any feedback.