AITA for Giving Dating Advice to Friend and Confessing My Feelings?

A friendship can survive a lot, but this one barely made it past a confession. It started with Sarah (26F) finally admitting she had a crush on John, and it ended with OP (27M) realizing he might actually have feelings too.

Here’s the messy part: OP encouraged Sarah to tell John to go for it. John rejected her, and while Sarah was processing the fallout, OP’s own emotions started getting louder. So he confessed his feelings to Sarah anyway, right after pushing her to chase John, and now Sarah says she feels betrayed.

It’s the kind of romantic domino effect where everyone looks at everyone else like, “Wait, what?”

Original Post

So I'm (27M) and I've been friends with Sarah (26F) for years. We've always had a great friendship, but recently she opened up to me about her crush on a mutual friend, John.

Sarah was unsure if she should tell John how she felt, so I encouraged her to go for it, thinking it was the right advice at the time. Fast forward a few weeks, and Sarah went ahead and told John about her feelings.

Unfortunately for her, John didn't feel the same way. As Sarah was dealing with the rejection, I realized that my feelings for her had grown beyond friendship.

I started questioning whether I should confess my feelings, knowing it might complicate our relationship. Despite the risks, I eventually decided to tell Sarah how I felt.

She was shocked and needed time to process everything. Our friendship has been strained ever since, with Sarah feeling betrayed that I advised her to pursue John but then shared my own feelings.

I understand her perspective, but I couldn't keep my emotions hidden any longer. So AITA?

The situation gets even messier when the OP decides to reveal his feelings for Sarah right after encouraging her to pursue John. It’s a classic case of mixed signals, and it raises the question: was he genuinely trying to help, or was he maneuvering for his own romantic gain? This duality in his actions could frustrate readers who value transparency in relationships. When you’re in a friendship, the lines can blur, especially when emotions run high.

By putting his feelings on the table, the OP risks jeopardizing not only his friendship with Sarah but also the burgeoning relationship with John. It’s a delicate balance that many can relate to, making this story resonate with anyone who's ever faced a similar crossroads in their own social circles.

Comment from u/snickerdoodle987

Comment from u/DancingPanda99

Comment from u/pizza_is_life

OP urged Sarah to tell John, and the whole plan imploded the moment John said no.

The Risk of Confession

This story sparks debate because it dives deep into the unpredictable nature of confessing feelings. Many readers can empathize with Sarah’s predicament; she’s navigating her own feelings for John while being blindsided by the OP’s confession. The emotional fallout from this revelation could create rifts not just between the OP and Sarah but also impact their mutual friendships.

Some might argue that the OP should have kept his feelings in check until he was sure about Sarah’s intentions. Others might feel that honesty, even when it complicates matters, is the best policy. The community’s responses highlight this divide, showcasing how personal experiences shape our views on love, friendship, and the risks involved in vulnerability.

Comment from u/AdventureSeeker42

Comment from u/CoffeeQueen23

Comment from u/GuitarHero1990

While Sarah was still hurting from that rejection, OP decided his feelings for her were too big to keep quiet.

This is like the AITA post where bad dating advice blew up a friendship with their mutual friend.

Friendship vs. Romance

This scenario taps into the age-old question: can friendships survive romantic feelings? The OP's well-intentioned advice to Sarah is laced with the potential for personal disappointment. It’s interesting to see how the Reddit community grapples with the complexities of this dynamic. Is it fair for him to expect Sarah to reciprocate his feelings after he’s just encouraged her to pursue someone else?

There’s a palpable tension in the air. Readers might feel that the OP’s timing was poor, and that revealing his emotions right after giving advice to Sarah is a breach of friendship etiquette. Yet, isn't it also natural for feelings to evolve? This tug-of-war between the platonic and romantic is something many have grappled with, making the conflict relatable and thought-provoking.

Comment from u/sleepyhead22

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Comment from u/sunset_dreamer

Now Sarah is stuck between the embarrassment of being turned down and the shock of learning OP was holding feelings the whole time.

Community Perspectives

The reactions from the Reddit community are a fascinating mix, reflecting personal biases and diverse relationship experiences.

Comment from u/chocolatechipcookie76

And because OP’s confession came right after his advice about John, the friendship is strained in a very specific, hard-to-unwind way.

What do you think about this situation? Let us know in the comments.

What It Comes Down To

In the end, this story captivates readers because it encapsulates the messy reality of navigating feelings within friendships. The OP’s well-meaning advice takes a sharp turn as he reveals his emotions, creating a ripple effect that could alter their relationships forever. It raises the question: how do we balance our feelings with our loyalty to friends? What do you think? Should the OP have held back his confession, or was honesty the right approach?

The Bigger Picture

In this story, the original poster's actions reflect a classic case of emotional turmoil where feelings complicate the dynamics of friendship. By encouraging Sarah to pursue John, he may have genuinely intended to support her, but his subsequent confession of feelings for her right after her rejection adds an awkward layer to their relationship. This timing likely made Sarah feel betrayed, as if his advice was a veiled attempt to position himself romantically once her crush fell through. The situation underscores the delicate balance between honesty and the potential fallout that can arise when romantic feelings emerge in a friendship.

He might not be the villain, but the timing made him look guilty anyway.

Wait, it gets worse, read how advising a crush confession turned into feelings for the same person in this friend triangle AITA.