AITA for my high school bullying? Girlfriends hypocrisy sparks heated argument

AITA for not feeling remorseful about my past bullying actions, despite my girlfriend accusing me of lacking empathy?

OP and his girlfriend were just chilling, watching a show with heavy bullying scenes, until one throwaway comparison turned into a full-blown fight. The girlfriend looked at the bully on screen and said he reminded her of OP, the guy who, back in high school, helped push a depressed girl out of school.

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Here’s where it gets messy: OP agrees he was a huge bully, but she’s acting like he’s the only one who should feel remorse.

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Now they’re “reconciled,” but the hypocrisy is still eating at him, and he wants strangers to tell him if he’s the a*****e.

Original Post

Recently me 21M and my girlfriend 22F were watching a show with some heavy themes and bullying scenes. When we were discussing the show, she said that the bully reminded her of me bullying a depressed girl into leaving the school altogether in our high school days.

I agreed, but then she got all pissed off about how I wasn't remorseful enough. I tried to move the topic forward but she was stuck on it.

It blew up into a full blown argument. Like yeah, I was a huge bully back in high school, but I don't get why she's acting like I should be remorseful- given that she was part of the same bullying group that I was!

We used to pick on that depressed girl together! Not sure why I'm the only one supposed to be remorseful!

She says that it was cause I was the leader of the bullies and that she wouldn't have done those horrific things if I didn't start it all. I call bullshit on this claim!

No one forced her! She joined in on our bully friend group by her own will!

We didn't even invite her! And it was so long ago!

Even though we have reconciled and made up from the argument, the sheer hypocrisy of her claims makes me seethe. I want judgement of a third party.

Was I the a*****e?

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It also echoes the neighbor whose cat was secretly rehomed after property damage.

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The argument starts the second his girlfriend links the show’s bully to OP, right after she brings up that depressed girl from their high school days.

OP tries to shift to something else, but she stays stuck on his lack of remorse, even though she claims she was dragged into it by OP.

That’s when OP pushes back hard, saying she joined the bullying friend group by her own choice and they didn’t even invite her.

Even though they’ve made up, OP can’t get past the fact that she blames him for starting it all, while admitting she was part of it.

How would you handle this situation? Let us know in the comments.

He might be “reconciled,” but OP is still wondering why his girlfriend gets to call him the leader and pretend she was never in the group.

Wait till you see the spouse allergy fight over a faux-fur mattress topper, AITA for keeping faux fur against allergies.

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