AITA for Rehoming Our Shared Cat Without My Roommates Consent?

A 27-year-old woman and her roommate, a 30-year-old man, thought adopting a cat together would be a simple win. They even picked a name, Luna, and for a while it worked. Then life did what life always does, schedules shifted, one person started being gone more, and suddenly the “shared” pet felt less shared than advertised.

The complication is brutally specific: her research hours changed, so he was rarely home, and she ended up doing the feeding, the playtime, the vet trips, basically running Luna’s whole routine. And just as that became the default, her new partner started having nasty cat allergies, turning hanging out at her place into a problem she could not ignore.

So when she rehomed Luna after a bad allergic reaction, her roommate called it betrayal, and now he won’t even talk to her.

Original Post

So I (27F) moved in with my roommate (30M) about a year ago. We both agreed to adopt a cat together, and we named her Luna.

Luna quickly became a big part of our lives, and we both loved her dearly. However, things took a turn when my Research hours changed and he was rarely home.

As a result, I ended up taking care of Luna most of the time - feeding her, playing with her, and taking her to the vet. It felt like she became more my responsibility than our shared pet.

For background, I recently started dating someone who's allergic to cats, and it became increasingly difficult for us to spend time together at my place because of Luna. I talked to my roommate about the situation, but he didn't seem too bothered and didn't offer to take on more responsibility for Luna.

One day, after a particularly bad allergic reaction from my partner, I made the tough decision to rehome Luna to ensure my relationship could progress. I found a loving family willing to adopt her, and I let my roommate know about my decision.

He was devastated and accused me of being selfish and heartless for giving Luna away without his consent. Now, my roommate won't talk to me and has even hinted at moving out.

I feel guilty for not consulting him before rehoming Luna, but at the same time, I felt stuck between my relationship and my responsibilities. So, Reddit, I'm torn - AITA for rehoming Luna without consulting my roommate who co-owned her?

Comment from u/blueberry_princess75

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Comment from u/grumpy_penguin99

It’s kind of like a host’s dinner party, where guests found out how she fed her cat.

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When Luna started living mostly on OP’s schedule, the “we both agreed” story quietly turned into OP doing everything, including the vet runs.

The moment her partner’s allergy hit hard, OP tried bringing it up with her roommate, and he basically shrugged instead of stepping in.

After OP rehomed Luna and told him she’d already found a family, he flipped from upset cat dad to “you needed my consent” mode.

Now that he’s devastated and hinting at moving out, OP is stuck wondering if she was protecting her relationship or just cutting him out of Luna’s life.

What would you do in this situation? Share your opinion in the comments.

He might be furious, but Luna’s new home is the part nobody can take back.

Want another family blowup after a house fire, read how a mom said “no” to her dad and sister moving in.