AITA for Sending Food to Work with My Boyfriend?

AITA for sending baked goods with my boyfriend to work and causing tension with my ex-husband?

Sophia

Published in Interesting
11 Jun 2025

AITA for Sending Food to Work with My Boyfriend?

Some people don’t recognize a favor, and this one starts with lunchboxes, baked goods, and two men who work the same airfield shift.

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A 26-year-old woman says she used to pack her ex-husband’s work lunches with trays of her homemade baking, because she really loves cooking and her ex’s coworkers were already a little rough on him. After she started dating her boyfriend, she did the same thing for him, too, until her ex’s workplace jokes got worse and worse, and her boyfriend finally asked her to stop sending food to his job site.

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To make it messier, he also wants her to skip their annual 4th of July event, and she’s not sure why she’s the one taking the hit.

Original Post

I, 26F, was married for four years. We got divorced because I found out I couldn’t have children.

I was content to stay child-free; it wasn’t a huge loss. My ex-husband really wants a ‘mini-me’ and to ‘pass on his legacy.’

We had a good marriage for the most part, but that was that. I’m not too sad, as I’ve come to learn there’s better out there.

My boyfriend is honestly the kindest person I’ve ever met. I should note that we live in a small town, and I have a type.

My boyfriend of seven months works with my ex-husband. They work as military contractors on airfields, doing different jobs.

But they work in the same area with the same guys. I really like to cook and bake.

I’m trying not to get diabetes, though, so I don’t eat everything I bake. I used to pack my ex-husband’s lunch and would often send him to work with a tray of baked goods.

I’ve taken extensive culinary classes focused on baking, and I’ve been told the stuff I make is really good. Funny enough, when my boyfriend and I met, he said he always loved the stuff I made for their shop when I was married to my ex-husband.

I now pack my boyfriend’s lunch and send him items to take to work. Apparently, a bunch of the guys they work with have been giving my ex-husband a hard time.

Dating had apparently been going very poorly for him (I’m not shocked); apparently, this has made him not look forward to going to work. My boyfriend is significantly more attractive than my ex-husband, and they’re making jokes about how I upgraded from one mechanic to another.

My boyfriend doesn’t mind because the jokes paint him in a good light, and they tell him he’s lucky, etc. He sent me a long message asking me to stop sending items to work with my boyfriend so the guys will leave him alone.

He also asked me not to come to their annual 4th of July event. I kind of feel like he’s making his problems my problem.

I don’t feel like it’s a fair request. But I’m not completely unempathetic, so I’m willing to stop if most people think I should.

AITAH?

Sending food to work with a partner can evoke mixed feelings, especially in the context of ex-partner relationships.

Comment from u/Moist-Garage-1871

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Comment from u/ceediors

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Her ex-husband loved the baking, but now the same guys teasing him about “mini-me” energy are turning the jokes toward the boyfriend too.

Studies show that unresolved feelings from past relationships can resurface when new partners engage in seemingly innocent behaviors.

Comment from u/JubeeD

Comment from u/Sea_Jelly4166

In this case, the ex-husband may feel that the OP's new relationship is overshadowing their past, leading to feelings of inadequacy.

Addressing these feelings openly can help reduce conflict and foster healthier interactions.

Comment from u/coogie

Comment from u/ShoddyExplanation

When the boyfriend tells her to stop packing his lunch with treats, it’s not just about food anymore, it’s about the workplace harassment bouncing off her relationship.

A practical solution might involve having an open dialogue with both partners about their feelings surrounding these actions.

Comment from u/RealBrownJesus

Comment from u/not_your_bird

The scenario presented reveals the intricate dynamics of relationships in the wake of past traumas.

Money drama like this, where the sister prioritized luxury splurges, is a similar mess to refusing to lend her money after family expenses were ignored.

Comment from u/Outrageous_Fox4227

Comment from u/AppropriateListen981

The part that stings is he’s not only asking her to stop sending baked goods, he’s also demanding she avoid the annual 4th of July event with everyone from that same circle.

It's also essential for partners to prioritize their emotional well-being by setting boundaries around interactions with exes.