AITA for setting boundaries with my financially dependent parents?

AITA for refusing to let my brother and SIL use my credit card, leading to family conflict?

Sienna

Published in Interesting
29 Sep 2025

AITA for setting boundaries with my financially dependent parents?

In a recent Reddit post, a 23-year-old woman shared her dilemma about her brother and sister-in-law asking to use her credit card. The woman, still studying and living with her parents, is financially responsible, contributing to household expenses and diligently saving for driving lessons and a car.

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She acquired a credit card to learn about credit management and has been using it wisely, with a set spending limit to avoid potential debt pitfalls. However, things took a contentious turn when her brother and sister-in-law learned about the credit card and requested to use it, citing their own debt issues.

Despite the woman's refusal, they persisted and even involved their mother to pressure her into agreeing. Feeling manipulated and overwhelmed, the woman stood her ground, leading to tensions within the family.

Reddit users overwhelmingly supported the woman, affirming that she was not in the wrong for protecting her financial well-being. Many applauded her responsible approach to credit and advised her to safeguard her card and credit score from potential misuse.

The consensus was clear: family should not exploit or jeopardize one's financial stability, and setting boundaries is crucial in such situations.

Original Post

I'm a 23-year-old woman. I'm not super savvy about money matters because I'm still studying at college and live with my folks.

Yet, I give my parents about $400 a month for rent, pay my own phone bill, buy things I need or want, and pay for other things like music. I also try to save as much as I can, keeping enough in my main account for daily expenses.

I'm setting aside cash for driving lessons and hope that if I pass well, I can use some savings to buy a car. I'm in my last year of college, so I'll be able to work full time soon.

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I got a credit card to learn how to handle credit and build up some. My credit score is good for someone like me, but it's not amazing.

I plan to use this card for purchases up to about $150. So far, I've only used it twice, spending about $120, which I paid off quickly.

I’m not planning to go over my limit because I’ve heard too many scary stories about people getting into debt by overusing their credit card. The only person I told about this was my dad because my mom tends to spill the beans to my brother and his wife (both 27.) She overheard us talking one day, and my brother and his wife found out.

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They asked if they could use my card. They admitted they had debt from too much credit card use and thought my card was "free money" because I didn't owe anything on it.

I explained that I was uncomfortable with this and that I would be the one in debt, not them. Things were quiet until a few days later when they both showed up at our house.

At first, they were nice, but then they began insisting I let them use the card. They even tried to get my mom to make me feel guilty about it.

I got really mad. When my brother said I owed them because they used to look after me, I laughed and walked away.

When I got back home, I found out they tried to manipulate my dad, too. He kicked them out.

My mom also tried, and he told her to leave as well. She's now staying with my brother and his wife.

My dad is the only one on my side. He says they're trying to take advantage of me because I'm young.

My brother, his wife, and my mom think it's not a big deal to let someone else use my card. It's messing with my mind, and I just want everyone to stop fighting.

AITA?