AITAH for refusing to lend money for ex-girlfriends brothers funeral hair?

A 28-year-old woman refused to lend money for her ex’s brother’s funeral hair, and it turned into the kind of drama that makes you question every “just this once” promise. The timeline is messy, the money is real, and the emotional math is even worse.

Here’s the setup: she and her current partner have kids with different fathers, and there’s already a pattern of borrowing. On August 5, 2024, she borrowed $300 for two weeks and did not pay it back in full until October 18. Then her brother died on Sunday, Nov 3, and she asked for $100 so she could get her hair done before the funeral on Saturday, Nov 9.

Now the question is whether refusing to cover the hair appointment makes her a villain, or just someone done funding old cycles.

Original Post

She has an ex-husband/father of her son from before we met and another father of a different son from after we broke up in 2019. But she borrowed 300 for two weeks on August 5th of 2024 and didn’t pay me back in full until October 18th.

Her brother passed away last Sunday Nov 3rd and she wanted to get her hair fixed up before the funeral on the following Saturday Nov 9th. I told her that I didn’t have $100, in the hopes that she would borrow it from someone else.

Financial requests from past partners can challenge emotional boundaries previously established in the relationship.

Such requests often elicit feelings of obligation, guilt, or resentment, complicating the dynamics of moving on.

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She didn’t just say “no,” she told her partner she didn’t have $100, hoping she’d get it from someone else instead.

The Reddit thread highlights the intricate dynamics of past relationships and how they can significantly impact current decision-making.

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By establishing guidelines on personal finances, individuals can navigate such requests without jeopardizing their financial well-being or emotional health.

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The request hit right after the $300 loan that lasted from August 5 to October 18, so the timing felt like déjà vu.

This is similar to the teen refusing to share late dad’s inheritance with step and half siblings.

With her brother’s funeral on Nov 9, the stakes went from “money issue” to “why won’t you help me before the service.”

Effective communication is key to resolving conflicts arising from financial requests.

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This expert explains that many individuals struggle with saying no due to fear of conflict or upsetting the other person.

Developing assertiveness skills through practice can empower individuals to uphold their boundaries without guilt. This involves recognizing one's own needs, which can lead to healthier interactions with former partners.

Regular reflection on personal values can help in maintaining these boundaries effectively.

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Even with the ex-husband and the other baby-dad in the background, the partner’s refusal is what lit the whole thread up.

Conclusion

Ultimately, navigating requests from past relationships requires a delicate balance of empathy and self-preservation.

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What do you think about this situation? Let us know in the comments.

This situation highlights the complexities of boundaries in post-relationship dynamics.

The Reddit thread highlights the emotional turmoil that surfaces when past relationships intersect with current obligations.

Nobody wants to be the cash-out button right before a funeral.

For another inheritance blowup, see how a sister called her sibling greedy over Dad’s condo split.