She Said “It’s One Alarm Or Divorce”— Now Her Husband’s Furious She Didn’t Wake Him Up

When a newlywed told her husband to stop setting a dozen morning alarms, she thought she was setting a simple boundary. Instead, she sparked a full-blown marital showdown before breakfast.

They’d only been married four months, and everything had been great—except for one thing. Every morning, her husband’s phone became a symphony of chaos between 6:00 and 7:00 a.m.

He worked an early shift starting at 7:30, while she clocked in later at 9. But ever since they moved in together, his mornings had become her personal nightmare.

He didn’t just set one alarm—he set twelve. In five-minute intervals. And to make matters worse, each one had a different sound. One was a foghorn straight out of SpongeBob, another blasted what sounded like a rave anthem, and one screeched like an air raid siren.

And instead of turning them off, he’d hit snooze. Again. And again. And again. The result? A solid hour of noise that could wake the dead—but somehow not him.

The wife admitted she’d sometimes yell, “Turn it the f*** off!” in her sleep without remembering. Her husband found that “rude.” She found it “survival.”

Things finally came to a head one morning when she snapped. She told him flat-out: “You can set one alarm and snooze it twice. If you can’t do that, I want a divorce.”

He agreed to her ultimatum—kind of. The next day, he set one alarm…and slept through all three rings. He was late for work, got chewed out by his boss, and came home furious.

Now he was accusing her of being “unsupportive” for not waking him up. She told him, in no uncertain terms, that she’s his wife, not his mother, and it’s not her responsibility to keep him on schedule.

She even suggested he see a doctor, in case there was a medical reason he couldn’t wake up. He refused, insisting he was fine—and that she was overreacting.

So now, the newlyweds are in an early marriage standoff over something as small—but as relentless—as an alarm clock. She’s exhausted, frustrated, and wondering if she’s losing her mind for expecting basic peace and quiet before sunrise.

Reddit’s verdict? Most people sided with her. Commenters called out the husband’s “weaponized snoozing” and applauded her for drawing a line. Others pointed out that oversleeping isn’t her fault—especially after she warned him multiple times.

Whether it’s time for therapy, a sleep study, or just a new alarm system, one thing’s for sure: the honeymoon phase officially ended with a foghorn at 6:05 a.m.

Things finally came to a head one morning when she snapped. She told him flat-out: “You can set one alarm and snooze it twice. If you can’t do that, I want a divorce.”

AI-generated image

Here's the original post by Reddit user 'OppositeNo2609'.

Hi guys, I feel like I'm insane.My husband and I have been married for four months. We get along great and this is the only problem in our marriage so far. He works a shift from 7:30 to 3:30 & I work a 9 to 5.We did spend about 3 to 5 nights a week together before this & he only started doing this within the last few months (after we got married and moved in together), which makes me feel even more insane.He sets alarms in 5-minute intervals from 6 AM to 7 AM. So that's 12 alarms. But instead of turning them off when they go off, he hits the snooze button. Again and again and again. So there are 12 alarms snoozed maybe 3 times, meaning the phone is going off CONSTANTLY. Different alarm sounds, too!! One sounds like the foghorn from Spongebob, one sounds like a party anthem, one is just really high-pitched blaring like a traditional alarm clock, etc.He gets upset with me because apparently I often yell at him to "turn it the fuck off" without remembering later.Right now we're fighting because -- and I DO 100% remember this -- I told him, "You can set one alarm and snooze it twice, and if you can't do that, I want a fucking divorce."Well, he did do that, and supposedly he "accidentally" slept through all three alarms & was late for work & his boss is mad at him. And he's mad at me for not waking him. I was just trying to sleep before my own job. I told him it's not my job to keep track of time and he'd better suck it up and learn to wake up because I'm not going to listen to 30 alarms in the morning.I'm at my wits' end and don't understand what's going on. As far as I know, he doesn't have any medical conditions related to sleep. I told him maybe he needs to see a doctor and he says he doesn't. AITA?

Understanding Couple Dynamics

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship researcher, emphasizes that communication is the cornerstone of any healthy partnership. According to his research, conflicts about seemingly trivial issues—like alarm clocks—often signify deeper relational dynamics at play.

Couples frequently misinterpret each other's actions, leading to unnecessary frustration. Dr. Gottman suggests that addressing underlying feelings instead of surface-level issues can foster a more understanding environment. He advises couples to engage in open dialogues about their needs and to practice active listening to prevent misunderstandings from escalating into larger conflicts.

Here's how the Reddit community reacted.

flickanelde

NTA.

Konfituren

Relationship expert Dr. Terri Orbuch notes that establishing boundaries is vital in a marriage. The alarm clock dilemma illustrates how small habits can lead to significant tensions if not addressed early on. Couples should openly discuss their preferences and find a compromise that respects both partners' needs.

Orbuch suggests creating a joint morning routine where both partners can agree on wake-up times and alarm settings. This proactive approach can prevent future conflicts and reinforce teamwork, ultimately enhancing the marital bond.

It's a torture tactic for a reason.

Pristine_Direction79

"My partner used to do that."

Professional_Ear6020

The perfect solution.

EmploymentLanky9544

Emotional Needs in Relationships

Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, explains that emotional needs often manifest in everyday actions. When one partner feels disregarded—like during alarm disputes—it can trigger deeper insecurities about attention and care.

Fisher's research indicates that understanding each other's emotional triggers can significantly improve relationship satisfaction. She encourages couples to explore why certain behaviors cause irritation and to communicate their feelings effectively. By fostering empathy, partners can better navigate conflicts, turning potential flashpoints into opportunities for connection.

"Get him a watch that has a vibration alarm."

Couchpotato13625

"He's doing this on purpose to piss you off."

Icy-Mix-6550

"Sleep is super important."

ZestyclosePass225

A marriage counselor suggests practical techniques for managing alarm-related disputes. One effective strategy is to set a mutual alarm time, allowing both partners to wake up simultaneously. This helps synchronize schedules and reduces the feeling of being disturbed.

Additionally, using an alarm sound that is less intrusive can create a gentler awakening experience. Both partners can also agree on a 'no snooze' policy to minimize frustration. These small changes can lead to significant improvements in morning harmony and overall relationship satisfaction.

"Sleep in a different bedroom."

Cosi-grl

"What changed?"

Zandonah

"Fast forward to sleeping in separate beds like most older people."

rabidgonk

The Importance of Compromise

Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a sex researcher, emphasizes that compromise is essential in maintaining marital harmony. When couples face conflicts over daily routines, such as alarm settings, it can reflect broader issues of control and respect.

Lehmiller advises couples to approach these conflicts as opportunities for negotiation rather than confrontation. By finding middle ground, partners can learn to value each other's preferences and create solutions that work for both, strengthening their relationship in the process.

"He needs to go to bed earlier."

ImHereForAReasonToo

Maybe he has sleep apnea.

lumaleelumabop

"People who set a dozen alarms like that are gigantic gaping AHs."

DoIQual123

Addressing conflicts about alarms can lead to greater intimacy if handled correctly. Dr. Sue Johnson, a couples therapist, emphasizes that sharing feelings about disturbances can foster emotional closeness. When partners express their vulnerabilities and needs, it creates a safe space for deeper connection.

Johnson encourages couples to use 'I' statements, such as 'I feel anxious when the alarms go off repeatedly,' to communicate their feelings without blaming the other. This approach can defuse tension and transform conflicts into opportunities for bonding.

Marriage means compromise, but maybe not before coffee. If this couple wants to make it to their first anniversary, they’ll need to find a truce between “good morning” and “please, for the love of God, make it stop.”

Expert Opinion

This situation highlights how seemingly small habits can escalate into significant conflicts in relationships. The husband's reliance on multiple alarms might stem from a deeper issue, like difficulty managing time or even an underlying sleep disorder, which can indicate a lack of self-awareness or responsibility. On the other hand, the wife's frustration reflects her need for boundaries and peace, showcasing how essential communication and compromise are in navigating shared living spaces.

Understanding the Deeper Patterns

Marital conflicts, even those stemming from something as mundane as alarm settings, highlight the need for effective communication and compromise. Experts like Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Helen Fisher underscore the importance of addressing underlying emotional needs while promoting open dialogues. By adopting strategies such as mutual agreements on daily routines and clear communication, couples can turn potential disputes into opportunities for growth and understanding.

Ultimately, fostering a supportive environment where both partners feel heard and valued can significantly enhance relationship satisfaction. As couples navigate daily challenges together, they can cultivate stronger, more resilient partnerships.