Am I Wrong for Putting Our Daughter to Bed Instead of Waiting Up for Husbands Call?

AITA for not keeping our daughter up for my husband's late video call? Opinions are divided on this dilemma involving family dynamics and parenting boundaries.

Damjan

Published in Interesting
23 Dec 2025

Am I Wrong for Putting Our Daughter to Bed Instead of Waiting Up for Husbands Call?

In a world where balancing work commitments and family time can often feel like a juggling act, one Reddit user found herself at the center of a heated debate over parental responsibilities and bedtime etiquette. She recently shared a story about her husband, who was away on a work trip, and the tension that arose when he tried to video-call their three-year-old daughter late at night while she was fast asleep.

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As the clock struck 11 PM EST, the mother explained that their daughter was already in dreamland, while her husband, who was three hours behind, expressed disappointment that she hadn't kept the little one awake for the call. In his eyes, it was a moment he desperately wanted to share after a long day, but the mother felt torn between her husband's wishes and her daughter's need for proper rest.

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This situation sparked a robust discussion among Reddit users, with many weighing the appropriateness of the husband's expectations against the realities of parenting a toddler. Should a parent prioritize their own emotional needs over a child's well-being?

Join the conversation as we delve into this relatable dilemma, exploring both sides of the argument and uncovering the complexities of modern-day parenting.

Original Post

Hi, I've been conflicted about this, since last night, I've been feeling guilty but also I'm not sure if I'm totally in the wrong so I wanted some perspective. My husband has had to go to Seattle this week due to work (we live in Boston, so he's a 3 hours behind us).

He flew there on Sunday. He'd told me he'd call when he gets done with work and their post-work lunch.

He couldnt give a fixed time because apparently theres been some transition or acquisition happening, its been hectic for him, so he doesn't know when the day will end for him. He called me around 11 pm EST.

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We talked for a while I asked how his day had been he said it had been a long one. He then asked to see our daughter (she's 3).

I told him it was 11 here, she was asleep. He got a bit short with me, said he'd told me he was going to call, that I could have kept her up or given her a nap earlier.

I told him she had taken a short nap earlier but at 11, she goes to sleep regardless, and that I had no idea when he'd actually call. He just shook his head with very clear disappointment and said that after a long day he really wanted to talk to her and I could've been more considerate.

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This part stung me because they both are really close to each other, he adores her, and she too is a total daddy's girl. I again said I'm sorry but I had no idea when he would call, if he'd given me some sort of tentative time even that would've helped.

We kind of ended the call soon after. Ive been thinking about this all day and been conflicted.

AITA? Adding this now: He just texted and said he meant to call during lunch break but got taken out by some executives for lunch.

He said he'll call when he gets done at 5 pm his time, so 8 pm ours. I told him that works great.

Last edit: So he talked to our daughter for a good 15-20 minutes, then we spoke too. He was definitely less on edge today than yesterday so I was just going to chalk up yesterday to a long day at work and move past it, but he brought it up and said he was sorry for being short with me yesterday.

I said it was all good. A sincere thanks for all your feedback I'd been feeling guilty and conflicted today and posting here and the responses helped.