Am I Wrong for Refusing to Give My Sister Money?

It started with a few familiar requests, the kind where £10 turns into a habit and “just this once” never really ends. OP, a 21-year-old woman, has an older sister who keeps asking for money, and most of the time OP has been able to help.

But this time, OP had just spent money on a wedding dress, so she couldn’t spare anything. When her sister said she and her niece had no food in their flat, OP felt bad, yet still couldn’t come up with £40, especially after her sister had already asked OP’s mum for £40 and OP knew it was actually £15.

Then the crying phone call hit, the insults came next, and suddenly it was no longer about food, it was about who “deserves” support.

Original Post

now I 21(f) have an older sister 24 who constantly ask for money. now normally I would send her over some as it’s normally only like a £10,£5, however I just don’t have the money atm after getting a dress for a wedding.

That’s when she said that her and my niece have no food in their flat, I said to her that I was sorry and I did feel bad. Then she messaged my mum asking for £40 I told mum she had only asked me for £15.

My mum told her that she didn’t have any money either. my sister then called and started crying saying that we never help her or even acknowledge that she exists and needs support.

At this point we had both had enough and said it’s not our responsibility to provide for her and her kid. She called us some pretty intense names and said not to bother with her ever again.

Looking back I could have sorted something out for her even just taking some chicken nuggets up or something but after what she said I really didn’t want to. AITA?

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Like the AITA spat where a parent defended unconventional methods against family criticism at dinner, your sister’s money demands are triggering the same kind of clash.

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OP usually sends small amounts, like £10 or £5, so the refusal over a wedding dress felt like a line she finally had to draw.

When OP’s sister claimed her and her niece had no food, OP did the decent thing and still said sorry, but she couldn’t magically produce £40.

OP told her mum the sister had only asked for £15, and that mismatch made the whole “we need help right now” story smell off.

After OP and her mum said it wasn’t their responsibility, the sister escalated fast, crying, calling them intense names, and swearing they’d never hear from her again.

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Now OP is stuck wondering if refusing money once makes her the villain, or if her sister just burned the bridge with the attitude.

Want another family boundary fight? Read what happened when someone refused to tell family about therapy.