Am I Wrong for Refusing to Share Makeup with Friend Suffering from Eczema?

It started with a simple yes, then turned into a full-blown friendship blowup. A 28-year-old woman, OP, was getting ready for a party at a friend’s house, doing the whole “get dolled up” routine with other people around her.

She’s close with Becky, who has severe eczema, and she genuinely believes it’s not contagious. But when Becky asked to use her eyeshadow, then immediately went for her cake foundation with a cushion applicator, OP froze. The kicker, Becky had open breakouts, and OP watched her pat it onto her face.

OP felt grossed out by the applicator and the cake itself, even if she knew “eczema isn’t contagious.” Now she’s wondering if she was wrong, while everyone else is calling her judgmental and a bully.

Original Post

I have a friend, Becky, who has severe eczema. I don't really care about it, we hug out, hug, and I know it's not contagious.

Last week we were going out for a party and we went over another friend's house to get dressed and dolled up. We sometimes swap clothes, no big deal, but I don't really let anyone use my makeup not that I didn't want to but no one really asked me about it.

That day Becky asked if she could use my eyeshadow, I said sure. Then she asked to use my cake foundation.

It had a cushion applicator that you swipe/press on the cake to use. I was caught off guard and just said yes so she went to use it first.

Like I mentioned I know it's not contagious but she had some open breakouts and I was kinda grossed out using the applicator and cake itself, after she patted it on her face with open sores. Like I know I'm not gonna get it but I just can't with the sore fluids and all that, I think it's unhygienic.

Even if she patted it dry, I can't help but feel grossed out. If she didn't have a breakout at the time, I most likely won't care.

So I ended up not using foundation at all. Only one friend asked me why, I didn't really say why I just said I didn't feel like it.

She made a big deal out of it saying I was judgmental and a bully because Becky's eczema grossed me out. I explained that's not true, and that it's more of a hygiene thing.

Now they're all upset at me for being prissy and should've just said not to use it. Again, I was caught off guard.

I was never asked to borrow my makeup, and I never really say no when it comes to sharing anything so I was on autopilot and said yes. Now I feel like an AH, because I was grossed out by it.

I don't care if it's eczema or not, but I feel like I shouldn't have to use someone that came in contact with anyone else's open wounds or plasma. I haven't spoken with any of them since Friday.

The situation presented in the Reddit thread showcases the delicate balance of maintaining personal boundaries while supporting friends. The discomfort expressed by the user about sharing makeup is not merely a matter of preference but is rooted in valid concerns regarding hygiene and skin health.

Makeup can harbor bacteria and irritants that may aggravate conditions like eczema, making it critical for individuals with sensitive skin to avoid products that are not their own. This highlights the importance of personal boundaries in friendships, especially when it comes to issues of health and safety.

Each person's skin has its unique sensitivities and responses to products, reinforcing the idea that what works for one may not work for another. The user's decision to refuse sharing their makeup is a necessary protective measure, reminding us that prioritizing our health and comfort should always come first, even in the context of friendship.

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When Becky asked to use the eyeshadow and OP said yes, everything seemed normal right up until the cake foundation came out.

Relationship experts stress that boundaries are vital in friendships and can often be overlooked. Many friends might not realize that sharing personal items, like makeup, can trigger discomfort or health concerns.

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Eczema is not just a skin condition; it is a persistent challenge that many individuals face, characterized by uncomfortable dry and itchy patches. The article highlights the precarious nature of sharing makeup, particularly for those who suffer from this condition. Using the wrong products can easily trigger flare-ups, making it crucial for those affected to be vigilant about what they apply to their skin.

The request to share makeup in this context is laden with potential risks. Makeup can harbor allergens or irritants, which can exacerbate eczema symptoms. This reality underscores the importance of setting personal boundaries when it comes to hygiene and health. Respecting each other's health concerns can strengthen friendships, allowing for open dialogue about personal boundaries without causing offense.

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The second Becky swiped the cushion applicator across OP’s cake foundation and patted it on her face, OP’s “not contagious” logic stopped helping.

It feels like the man who wrecked his friend’s “Escape to America” debt plan, just with skin-care stakes instead.

This can be done through a light-hearted conversation that emphasizes personal care rather than rejection.

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After OP refused to use foundation at all, one friend questioned her, and OP gave a vague answer instead of shutting it down clearly.

Navigating the complexities of friendship often hinges on personal boundaries and hygiene, as highlighted in the recent Reddit discussion about sharing makeup with a friend suffering from eczema. The user’s reluctance to lend their products is not merely a matter of preference but a reflection of their discomfort with the potential health implications involved.

Honesty about such discomfort is vital for maintaining healthy relationships. When one person establishes and communicates their boundaries, it can lead to a more respectful understanding between friends. Rather than weakening the bond, asserting personal limits can actually enhance the relationship, fostering a deeper connection built on mutual respect.

In this scenario, the makeup user’s choice to prioritize their own comfort and hygiene should be respected, as it serves to uphold the integrity of their friendship.

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In a broader context, communication plays a crucial role in friendships.

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Since Friday, the group has been upset with OP for being “prissy,” even though it was the open sores and the shared applicator that set her off.

Empathy plays a vital role in navigating the complex dynamics of friendships, especially when health issues intertwine with personal boundaries. In the situation presented, the request to borrow makeup raises concerns not just about hygiene but also about the emotional implications of sharing personal items.

Both friends must engage in an open dialogue to express their feelings surrounding the request. This exchange can help them understand each other's perspectives better, allowing them to navigate the emotional landscape without damaging their friendship. By addressing these concerns thoughtfully, they have the opportunity to turn a potentially awkward moment into a chance for deeper connection and understanding.

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How would you handle this situation? Let us know in the comments.

In this scenario, the original poster’s hesitation to share makeup stems from a natural concern for hygiene, which is quite common in social situations involving personal items. It's fascinating how quickly group dynamics can shift; the backlash they received highlights the complexities of communication and empathy in friendships—where one person's boundaries can be perceived as judgment by others. Ultimately, this situation emphasizes the importance of openly discussing comfort levels and personal boundaries to avoid misunderstandings and maintain healthy relationships.

Personal boundaries are crucial in friendships, particularly when hygiene and health issues are involved.

Nobody’s mad that OP said no, they’re mad she said no the moment the makeup involved open breakouts.

Want another “AITA” financial standoff, see why someone refused to use their last 20€ to pay a debt.