Couple Gets Into Argument As One Accuses Other Of Not Waking Them Up Early Enough For Exam

One might ask: what are the safest and most effective ways to wake up deep sleepers in your home? You know, those people who don't respond to alarm clocks or gentle prodding in the morning.

Although a single approach might not be the best for everyone, there are practical tactics that will satisfy the majority of insomniacs. In our world today, many individuals keep their phones close by when they go to bed.

So it makes sense to use an alarm. This was the OP's go-to when their partner asked to be woken up for an exam.

They are both in their mid-20s, and OP's partner is studying further while working and had an exam that started at 8:00. The OP's partner asked to be woken up by 6 a.m., and the OP promptly set the alarm for 6:00.

Normally, the alarm is set for 6:15, as that’s when the OP wakes up for work. At 5:00, their cat was scratching at the bedroom door to be let out, so they both woke for a few seconds.

At 6, the alarm rang, and the OP shook their partner awake. Their eyes opened, and they shifted in bed, so the OP thought they were awake and went back to sleep for a few minutes.

Unknown to the OP, the partner went back to sleep, and you can read the entire story below to find out what happens next.

The headline

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The OP writes

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Communication and Conflict Resolution

The couple's argument over waking up for an exam highlights common communication breakdowns that can occur in relationships. Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, a psychologist known for developing Nonviolent Communication, emphasizes the importance of clear and compassionate communication in resolving conflicts. In this case, both partners might benefit from expressing their needs and feelings more openly.

Research indicates that misunderstandings often arise when individuals fail to communicate their expectations clearly, leading to frustration and resentment.

The OP woke up naturally

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Who will take another day off work to write the exam?

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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:

The action I took was that I don’t feel she is warranted in being angry with me because she didn’t wake up on time.I feel that I am the AH because I’m usually very selfish, so I don’t inherently believe that my anger is justified.

And the comments rolled in...

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They're smart enough

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Emotional responses during conflicts can be amplified when individuals feel their needs are not being met. Studies show that when partners perceive a lack of support, it can lead to heightened emotional reactions. The couple’s disagreement over waking up for an exam may reflect deeper issues of responsibility and support within the relationship.

Addressing these feelings through open dialogue can help both partners understand each other's perspectives and reduce conflict.

This is on them

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They might just apologize

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The OP left this in the comments...

I have trouble trusting my feelings when it comes to—well, everything. I am very much neurodivergent (ADHD) and struggle to understand the emotional needs of people, myself included. Platforms like this allow me to gain perspective so I can understand better.

It makes no sense

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The OP should just refuse

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Establishing Supportive Routines

Creating supportive routines can enhance relationship satisfaction and reduce conflict. Dr. John Gottman’s research on couples indicates that establishing shared responsibilities can foster feelings of partnership and cooperation. In this case, the couple might benefit from discussing their expectations around waking up and supporting each other during high-pressure times.

By creating a plan together, they can avoid misunderstandings and strengthen their relationship.

They need to grow up

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The OP isn't their parents

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Practicing active listening and empathy can further improve communication during conflicts. Research shows that couples who engage in these practices report higher satisfaction in their relationships. By taking the time to truly listen to each other’s concerns, the couple can foster a more supportive environment that promotes collaboration and understanding.

Establishing a routine for checking in with each other’s needs can also help prevent conflicts from escalating.

Psychological Analysis

This argument highlights common challenges couples face in communication, particularly during stressful times. By developing clearer expectations and practicing empathy, partners can foster a more supportive relationship. Open dialogue can help both individuals feel valued and understood.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Effective communication is essential for navigating conflicts in relationships. By fostering supportive routines and practicing active listening, couples can enhance their connection and reduce misunderstandings. Ultimately, it’s about working together to create a nurturing environment that honors both partners' needs.

Helping your spouse get up is nice and encouraging, but in the end, it's their responsibility to ensure they wake up on time, especially for something as significant as an exam. Adults should take responsibility for their own commitments and schedules.

As a first line of defense, OP's partner should have set their own alarm, with OP's help serving as a fallback. It's dangerous to rely entirely on someone else to wake you up on time since situations like this do happen.