Lady Gets Mocked By Partner's Family Because Of Her Mental Illness, Cancels Their Anniversary Getaway

There's no ideal relationship that is guaranteed. All we can do is hope that every encounter we have results in happiness, particularly when we are meeting our loved one's family.

It's possible that we won't like them, especially when we find that their values and identity do not coincide with our own. The truth is that we don't always fall in love with people solely because they are our partner's family.

However, in even worse news for us, there's a chance our partner's family won't even like us. They might despise us for one reason or another and desire our removal from the picture.

For the OP, her boyfriend's cousins didn't believe she was the right person for their cherished family member for any reason—logical or otherwise. They had planned a trip to go to his cabin.

OP's boyfriend is one of the owners of this cabin, and they planned to go for their anniversary. Then, the OP received a shocker.

He told me that his family, particularly his cousins, wanted to join us and celebrate with us. I find that rather weird, and I'm honestly uncomfortable with it, especially since his cousins have mocked my mental illness and have gone as far as letting everyone in their family know about it. They have told my boyfriend that he shouldn’t be with damaged goods.

OP's boyfriend did defend her, and they've apologized, but the OP still wants to keep her distance. Read the full story in the OP's own words below.

The headline

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OP finds that rather weird and she's honestly uncomfortable with it

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They told the OP that they were right about her being damaged goods

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Understanding Stigma Around Mental Illness

The stigma associated with mental illness can profoundly impact individuals, especially in the context of relationships. Research from the National Institute of Mental Health indicates that negative stereotypes can lead to isolation, discrimination, and reduced support from loved ones. This is particularly concerning when a partner's family expresses derogatory views, as it can exacerbate feelings of shame and inadequacy.

In this case, the reaction from the partner's family reflects societal misconceptions about mental health that can hinder recovery and relationship stability.

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

I think I might be the A-hole because I’m causing a bigger problem than it has to be, and my boyfriend is close to his cousins. I might have caused a drift between them.

We've gathered some of the most upvoted comments from other Redditors for you to read through below

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Someone intends making another individual miserable

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You stay away unless you're personally invited

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Furthermore, studies indicate that individuals with mental illness frequently internalize stigma, which can lead to diminished self-esteem and heightened anxiety. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist, states, "Stigma can create a significant barrier to seeking help, as individuals may feel unworthy of love and support." This sentiment is echoed on her professional website, where she emphasizes the importance of addressing stigma to foster healthier relationships and self-acceptance. For more insights, visit Dr. Ramani Durvasula's website.

Do not give them a second thought

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OP's boyfriend told her they wanted to come as well

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The OP added this edit to further clarify things

I saw that I wrote it wrong. He told me that they wanted to come as well, and since one of them is the co-owner, he can’t stop them. That's why he told me to see how I would feel about that situation.

They have not changed at all

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Strategies for Coping with Family Stigma

For individuals facing stigma from their partner's family, establishing clear boundaries is crucial. Psychologists recommend having candid conversations with partners about the impact of family opinions on mental health. According to research from the University of Pennsylvania, couples who maintain open lines of communication about external pressures are better equipped to navigate challenges together.

Encouraging partners to stand in solidarity can foster a sense of unity against external negativity, enhancing the relationship's resilience.

This Redditor is listing the two options they see here

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To this Redditor, there was an ulterior motive

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The OP should pick a different weekend

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It may also be beneficial to seek support from external sources, such as therapy or support groups, where individuals can share their experiences without fear of judgment. Research indicates that peer support can significantly enhance coping strategies, helping individuals feel less isolated in their struggles.

The support of the partner who makes you feel safe, loved, and wanted despite the rejection and hatred from the family is what should best guide the decision to stay in the relationship. The OP has it, and that's what has been keeping her going.

Besides, Redditors couldn't fathom how a family should be involved in an anniversary getaway. The OP was declared not the AH, and that's a wrap!

Psychological Analysis

This scenario illustrates the damaging effects of societal stigma on individuals with mental health challenges. It’s important for partners to work together to create a safe space where both can express their feelings and reinforce each other's worth, regardless of external opinions.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In summary, navigating the stigma surrounding mental illness requires both personal and relational strategies to foster understanding and support. By setting boundaries and encouraging open communication within the relationship, individuals can create a more supportive environment. Research shows that this can enhance emotional well-being and relationship satisfaction, ultimately leading to healthier dynamics.