Boyfriend Tries To Talk Delusional Girlfriend Out Of Trying To Live Off Art As She's Not Earning From It

The term "starving artist" is frequently used to describe people pursuing art. Regardless of the passion poured into their craft, artists may struggle to sell their creations if they don't resonate with a large audience.

This is what a Redditor's girlfriend is experiencing. He asked for advice on how to handle his delusional girlfriend on r/relationships.

Despite pursuing her passion for the arts after studying science and briefly working, she now finds herself in a tough spot. Initially supported by occasional art projects that covered her expenses, she took a bold step to another country for new opportunities but without a solid plan.

Now, with finances running low and no clear career path in sight, she's feeling depressed and uncertain about her future. The original poster (OP), concerned and supportive, tries to console her but finds it challenging.

He sees her passion for the arts but struggles with her reluctance to consider temporary work or seek help from family or friends. She views taking any job unrelated to her art as humiliating and resists the idea of returning to her previous career in science, which she dislikes.

Their relationship is strained as they can't even plan basic outings, let alone discuss a future together. She desires a hippie lifestyle, but it seems she can't accept the financial realities that come with it.

This frustrates the OP, especially when she becomes defensive or offensive during discussions about money.

The OP is looking for advice on how to make his girlfriend realize that she needs to earn money apart from art.

Reddit

The girlfriend studied a low-demand field in art.

Reddit

The Role of Creative Identity

Creative identity can be a significant factor in how individuals navigate their professional and personal lives. Dr. Angela Lee, a psychologist at Stanford University, emphasizes that the pursuit of art often intertwines with one’s sense of self-worth and identity. Research indicates that when individuals invest deeply in creative endeavors, they may develop an emotional dependency on validation from the success of these pursuits.

This dependence can lead to cognitive dissonance when faced with the reality of inadequate income, causing distress and a potential detachment from practical concerns. The pressure to succeed artistically without a plan can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and hopelessness.

The money she earns is enough for basic needs, but doesn't include rent.

Reddit

The girlfriend then tried her luck in another country.

Reddit

Behavioral psychologists note that the boyfriend's attempts to dissuade his girlfriend from pursuing art without a plan may stem from a desire to protect her from potential failure. According to studies in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, people often exhibit overprotective behaviors when they perceive a loved one's choices as risky. This protective instinct, while well-intended, may inadvertently suppress the girlfriend’s autonomy and creativity.

She failed to plan, and now, she has no money.

Reddit

The OP has been trying to console her by giving advice. He opened up about getting back to her previous job.

Reddit

Balancing Passion and Pragmatism

Finding a balance between passion and pragmatism is crucial for sustainable creative endeavors. Research published in the European Journal of Psychology suggests that individuals who can set realistic goals and maintain flexibility in their pursuits are more likely to achieve long-term satisfaction and success. For artists, this means creating a structured plan that allows for artistic expression while also considering financial stability.

Implementing a dual approach—where one can pursue art part-time while maintaining a stable income—could be an effective solution. This strategy allows for creative exploration without the overwhelming pressure of financial dependence on art alone.

But she thinks that doing so would be humiliating.

Reddit

The OP's girlfriend is quite delusional if she thinks she can live the hippie life without accepting the financial downsides.

Reddit

Moreover, cognitive-behavioral strategies can help individuals reframe their perception of success and failure in their artistic journeys. For example, engaging in reflective practices and setting incremental goals can foster resilience. A study conducted by researchers at the University of Pennsylvania found that individuals who adopt growth mindsets—believing that abilities can improve with effort—are more likely to persevere through challenges in their creative work.

They also get into arguments about his money.

Reddit

The OP has done enough. He has been patient with her.

If she won't listen, then maybe it's time for the OP to move on.

Reddit

The girlfriend needs to face the reality that her survival and financial stability take priority over her passion for art. She can still pursue her art on the side while working a job that can support her and her boyfriend.

The OP has done more than enough to make his girlfriend realize her delusions. If he can't talk sense into her anymore, then maybe it's time to move on.

Unfortunately, this woman can't accept facts. It's hard to live that kind of life.

Reddit

There are just too many talented people in the world of art, and the reason she's not able to get jobs is that she can't compete with them.

Reddit

Seeking Professional Guidance

Consulting with a career coach or a therapist specializing in creative fields could provide the girlfriend with valuable insights and coping strategies. Professional guidance can help her evaluate her artistic aspirations in the context of her overall well-being and personal goals. According to the American Psychological Association, therapy can assist individuals in developing healthier coping mechanisms and clarifying their passions in a structured manner.

This approach not only supports the individual's mental health but also encourages a more balanced view of their creative pursuits, allowing them to flourish without the added stress of financial instability.

This relationship does sound exhausting.

Reddit

If the OP is tired of this relationship, he should just break up with his delusional girlfriend.

He deserves someone who is financially stable.

Reddit

Psychological Analysis

This scenario illustrates a common dynamic where emotional investment in creative endeavors can cloud judgment regarding practical aspects. The pressure to succeed artistically can create an internal conflict that hampers decision-making. It's essential for individuals to recognize this tension and seek a balance that allows for both creative expression and financial stability.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, understanding the psychological factors at play in this situation reveals a complex interplay between identity, passion, and practicality. By reframing her approach to art and integrating practical strategies, the girlfriend can pursue her creative aspirations in a healthier, more sustainable way. As research shows, it's essential to foster both passion and pragmatism for long-term satisfaction in any career.