Pregnant Mom Doesn't Want Her Disabled Autistic Friend Staying Over, Seeks Advice On Ways To Go About It

It's likely that you have watched a movie or TV show where an autistic person is portrayed as a recluse. Even if these portrayals in the media aren't always accurate, you may have encountered someone similar in real life.

This person could be a coworker who shuns social events at work, a student who frequently spends lunch in the library, or a friend who typically turns down party invitations. People who are not autistic often interpret this decision to withdraw from particular social settings as a sign of a lack of interest in interacting with others or even as a personal rejection.

This can limit your chances of connecting and forging a deep friendship by making it difficult to determine whether, when, or how to communicate with the person. Good friendships can grow between people with and without autism as long as there is enough comprehension and sincere acceptance of the unique ways that each person sees the world.

The OP has a friend who is not only autistic but also has numerous disabilities and chronic pain. OP moved across the country to be with her now-fiancé, and she is currently pregnant with their second child, who is due very soon.

Her autistic friend wants to visit for three weeks, and her arrival would coincide with the time around when the baby is born. Due to her autistic friend's disabilities, she cannot do most things, so the OP does not want her around.

The issue now is that she does not know how to approach this situation because her friend does not grasp the point.

The OP kicks off her story

Reddit/bittyboo242

She is planning to arrive less than 2 weeks after the baby is born

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The OP has had to be more blunt and sent her friend a long message

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Navigating Friendships and Boundaries

The pregnant mother's desire to limit her friend's visits highlights the importance of setting boundaries in relationships, particularly when personal circumstances change.

Research in relational psychology emphasizes that establishing boundaries is essential for maintaining healthy relationships and personal well-being.

In this case, the mother may feel overwhelmed by her pregnancy and concerned about the potential impact of her friend's needs on her own well-being.

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:

I think bluntly saying “please don’t come” is an AH move for a friend who wants to help.

We've gathered some of the most upvoted comments from other Redditors for you to read through below

Reddit/bittyboo242

It's about the OP and her baby

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What it's like to care for two small children

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Additionally, the concept of emotional labor comes into play, as the mother may feel obligated to manage not just her needs, but also her friend's emotional needs, which can lead to fatigue.

Studies indicate that women, in particular, often shoulder the responsibility of emotional labor in friendships, which can lead to stress and resentment.

Recognizing this dynamic can help the mother articulate her feelings and needs more clearly.

Needing a big break to recover from a surgery

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It's unfortunate that OP's friend couldn't pick up the hints

Reddit/bittyboo242

She won't be able to stay with the OP at all

Reddit/bittyboo242

Communicating Needs Effectively

To navigate this situation successfully, it's crucial for the mother to communicate her feelings with honesty and empathy.

Research from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships underscores the importance of expressing needs in a clear and respectful manner to promote understanding.

Using 'I' statements, such as 'I feel overwhelmed and need some space,' can help convey her feelings without placing blame on her friend.

The OP has to put her foot down and say it how it is

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It's not how it works after a baby

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According to this Redditor, there is no AH in the story

Reddit/bittyboo242

Moreover, establishing a mutual understanding of each other's needs can foster a supportive environment during this transitional phase.

Encouraging open dialogue about how both friends can support each other can lead to a stronger bond and reduce feelings of resentment.

Studies show that friendships thrive on mutual understanding and support, particularly during challenging times.

All things considered, making friends with someone who has autism is fundamentally the same as creating any other kind of healthy relationship. It is predicated on mutual understanding and genuine connections that foster a sense of closeness, trust, and security.

Redditors told the OP that she needs to be explicitly clear when telling her friend that she cannot come to visit. She was declared not the AH, and that's a wrap.

Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights the importance of boundaries in friendships, particularly when personal circumstances change.

It's crucial for individuals to communicate their needs clearly to maintain healthy relationships and personal well-being.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Setting boundaries in friendships is essential, especially during significant life transitions like pregnancy.

Psychological research supports the idea that clear communication and empathy are crucial in navigating these changes.

Ultimately, fostering understanding can strengthen relationships and promote individual well-being.