Parents Go Numb After Three Months of Enduring Their Newborn's Ceaseless Cries, Contemplate Leaving Her at Fire Station as Their Family Falls Apart

A few Reddit posts become required reading for new users. This heartbreaking story from seven years ago chronicles the tale of a family slowly falling apart because the healthcare system failed their "difficult" baby.

OP shared his story three and a half months after his daughter's birth. Reddit was his last resort after enduring his daughter's ceaseless cries since they brought her home.

They visited several doctors to determine what was wrong with their baby, but all concluded that she had a severe case of colic. OP's heart broke each time he heard his baby cry due to an unknown discomfort, but he eventually became accustomed to the noise.

OP felt even more helpless when he witnessed his bubbly five-year-old daughter transform into a miserable child. What child wouldn't be affected if she couldn't sleep peacefully at home while her parents turned into humorless zombies?

OP's daughter can't understand that her baby sister is not crying on purpose. She told OP and her mom that she hated the baby and has started to refer to her as the "selfish brat."

OP's daughter has to see her school counselor twice a week after her teachers noticed her personality change. Their temporary solution was to drive their daughter to her aunt and uncle's house every night for sleepovers.

She told OP that she hated going home and wanted to live with her cousins. The poor kid said she would not return home until her parents fixed the baby or gave her away.

Their neighbors even called the police because they suspected OP and his wife were abusing the newborn. The last time the cops visited, OP's wife suggested they should take the baby.

selfish-brat

OP's brother and his wife occasionally offered to babysit their baby to give them time away from the house and their crying newborn.

selfish-brat

The Psychological Toll of Parenting Challenges

Parenting a newborn can be an overwhelming experience, particularly when compounded by feelings of isolation and frustration. Dr. Amanda Lewis, a developmental psychologist, notes that the ceaseless demands of a newborn can lead to emotional exhaustion, which can strain family relationships. This response is not uncommon; many parents experience a sense of helplessness when faced with a crying baby.

Research from the Journal of Family Psychology indicates that prolonged exposure to stress can significantly affect mental health, leading to feelings of depression and anxiety among new parents. Recognizing the signs of emotional distress is crucial for seeking help and support.

Their eldest's babysitter quit a month after the baby's birth because she couldn't tolerate the crying.

selfish-brat

His wife asked the hospital staff if they were sure they had given them the right baby because their eldest was the opposite of her sister.

selfish-brat

Furthermore, the feelings of resentment expressed by siblings, such as the five-year-old in this case, often stem from a perceived loss of attention and affection. Dr. Carol Gilligan, a psychologist known for her work on gender and development, emphasizes that sibling rivalry can intensify during periods of transition, such as the arrival of a new sibling. This can manifest in behaviors that indicate the child feels overlooked or undervalued.

His wife asked OP multiple times a week if he would be willing to give their baby up for adoption.

selfish-brat

His wife said that if they were to separate, she would take their daughter and leave OP with the baby. OP admitted that he and his wife didn't adore their baby as much as they did their eldest.

selfish-brat

Strategies for Coping with Newborn Stress

To navigate these challenges, it’s essential for parents to seek support from their network. Establishing a routine that includes time for self-care can help mitigate feelings of overwhelm. Research shows that when parents prioritize their mental health, they are better equipped to care for their children and manage stress effectively.

Moreover, encouraging open discussions among family members about feelings surrounding the new arrival can foster understanding and compassion. This can help siblings feel heard and valued, reducing feelings of jealousy or resentment.

OP received many helpful comments from parents who went through similar experiences with their children. He and his wife were willing to try everything to provide relief for themselves and their kids.

selfish-brat

OP also took paternity leave. They used a suggestion that presumably mimicked the baby's environment in the womb. OP happily reported that it somewhat calmed their baby down.

selfish-brat

Finally, recognizing that it’s normal to feel frustrated and overwhelmed can be liberating. Seeking professional help when needed is also a sign of strength, not weakness. Parents should be reminded that they are not alone in this journey, and support systems are available to help navigate the complexities of new parenthood.

OP figured out a more efficient way to soothe the baby. He also dealt with some guilt for not figuring out what was wrong with the baby sooner.

selfish-brat

He also disengaged from some conspiracy theorists who claimed their baby's "difficulty" was due to a vaccine injury.

selfish-brat

To this day, Redditors lament how social services and healthcare providers failed OP and his family. OP had to cry in front of a doctor for them to get a prescription to ease their baby's discomfort.

It was an unhappy situation for everyone involved, and there wasn't a clear resolution. OP's account has been inactive since his third post seven years ago.

More than two weeks later, OP returned to share more updates. OP and the baby were at his friend's empty cottage while his wife and their daughter stayed at home. Their plan was to remain apart until the baby was less prone to crying fits.

selfish-brat

OP's relationship with his wife was still complicated. She wanted to give their baby up for adoption, but OP said he wasn't on board.

selfish-brat

His wife's priority is their eldest daughter. OP said he and his wife still do not love their baby as much as they should. Their daughter remained resentful of her crying sibling.

selfish-brat

They still haven't found a babysitter who can tolerate the baby's cries. OP's struggle between being a doting father and considering giving up the baby was evident throughout his update.

selfish-brat

OP's wife was in therapy, but it hasn't changed how she sees or feels about their baby.

selfish-brat

OP acknowledged that he was taking on most of the baby-related duties. However, he felt it was a fair deal because his wife took care of their eldest and was the breadwinner. The family coped as best as they could to adjust to what was hopefully a temporary separation.

selfish-brat

Psychological Analysis

This situation exemplifies the intense emotional strain new parents often experience. The feelings of helplessness and frustration are common and can have lasting effects on family dynamics. Addressing these emotions openly can help foster healthier relationships and provide a supportive environment for the entire family.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, the challenges of new parenthood can take a significant emotional toll on families. Dr. John Bowlby’s attachment theory underscores the importance of nurturing relationships during these critical early years. By fostering open communication and seeking help when needed, families can navigate these transitions more effectively and promote healthier dynamics.