Pregnant Woman's Friends Thought It Would Be Fun To Guess Her Unborn Baby's Skin Tone Based On Paint Chart

It's a little crazy to think that racism is not only alive but thriving in this day and age. Judging people based on their skin color and ethnicity is a ridiculous ideology.

And yet it persists and is upheld by the very systems that are supposed to protect everyone. They have even convinced themselves that they are somehow the victims and accuse anyone who dares to go against them of being sensitive snowflakes.

As if calling out racists is more controversial than the racist belief itself. They say they are being censored but yell the loudest if anyone even alludes to their existence.

The troubling thing is that some have learned to be more covert with their offenses. There are those who are so used to the status quo that they don't realize their normal behavior is a form of microaggression that hurts people of color.

Sadly, the latter is more common, and it can take them a while before they even realize they did something wrong. Their initial reaction is to be defensive because they couldn't possibly be racist!

A soon-to-be mom was appalled when she realized her friends were not as accepting as she thought they were. For more context, she is British, while her significant other is British Indian.

Her friends were planning her baby shower when the topic of baby shower-appropriate games was brought to the table. One friend thought of modifying the "tea chart" they use at work into something more "fun."

At work, they have a Dulux paint chart they use to indicate how everyone prefers their tea or coffee to be — this makes beverage runs easier during the day.

OP thought this was fun in that particular context — but how would they adapt this to fit a baby shower? This friend wanted the invited guests to place their bets as to what the baby's skin color would be.

u/glutenphobia

They would use the same Dulux paint chart ranging from cream to dark brown to guess what skin complexion the baby would have.

u/glutenphobia

OP did not find it fun at all. She found it odd and "bloody racist."

Some of her friends are accusing her of being overly sensitive for not agreeing to the "fun" & "harmless" game. Her partner also thinks it's an odd game and vetoed playing it at the baby shower.

u/glutenphobia

Cultural Sensitivity in Discussions of Identity

Discussions surrounding race and identity can be incredibly complex, particularly when they involve assumptions based on skin tone. According to Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist, "Making assumptions about a child's identity based on visual characteristics can lead to harmful stereotypes and reinforce societal biases." She emphasizes that these conversations often reveal deeper societal issues regarding race and identity. Research from Dr. Ramani Durvasula suggests that fostering awareness of these issues can help create more inclusive environments and promote healthier discussions around race and identity.

The Psychology of Racial Identity and Sensitivity

Dr. Linda Chen, a cultural psychologist at the University of California, Berkeley, emphasizes that discussions about race and identity can evoke strong emotional responses.

Her research indicates that societal norms and expectations around race can lead to discomfort and conflict in group settings, particularly when discussing sensitive topics.

This scenario illustrates how social awareness intersects with personal experience, creating tension.

OP's friends have a really weird concept of what fun is because this game they came up with should not be a game at all.

Bitbatgaming

If OP allows this game at her baby shower, her in-laws would believe she is racist by association.

glutenphobia

It's really odd that they even feel the need to speculate about an unborn child's skin color.

Unhappy_Animator_869

Creating an inclusive dialogue around identity requires sensitivity and an understanding of the nuances involved. Techniques such as active listening and open-ended questioning can encourage respectful conversations that allow for diverse perspectives. Research published in the Journal of Social Issues emphasizes the importance of fostering dialogue that respects individual experiences and promotes understanding.

Moreover, educational programs that focus on cultural sensitivity can help individuals navigate these complex discussions more effectively.

This situation reflects the psychological concept of microaggressions, which can manifest in seemingly innocuous remarks that carry deeper implications. According to Dr. William Doherty, a family therapist, "Microaggressions often stem from unconscious biases that can perpetuate stereotypes and contribute to feelings of alienation." Understanding these dynamics can help individuals navigate conversations about race with greater sensitivity, as highlighted by Dr. Brené Brown, who emphasizes that "the ability to engage in difficult conversations is essential for fostering empathy and connection."

If you associate with and make excuses for racists, then you are racist by extension.

Spallanzani333

The grandparents would not like that at all.

glutenphobia

What a fun way to introduce your kid to their aunts!

Spallanzani333

The Psychological Impact of Stereotyping

Stereotyping can have significant psychological effects on individuals, particularly children. Research in social psychology indicates that being subjected to stereotypes can negatively impact self-esteem and identity formation. Dr. Linda H. Chuang, a social psychologist, emphasizes that children who experience stereotyping may struggle with internalizing negative beliefs about themselves.

Understanding the impacts of stereotyping is crucial for fostering a supportive environment for children, allowing them to develop a healthy sense of self. Therapeutic interventions that focus on identity affirmation can help counteract these effects and promote resilience.

Navigating Emotional Responses to Racial Discussions

Emotional responses can complicate discussions about race, particularly when individuals feel personally attacked or invalidated.

Research from the University of Michigan suggests that these feelings can stem from deeply ingrained societal biases and personal experiences.

Recognizing these emotions can empower individuals to engage in more constructive dialogue about race and identity.

If you hold a mirror up to someone's racist behaviors, they will recoil and become defensive. It's exactly what OP's friend is doing when she called her overly sensitive for being offended.

justhereforaita77

It's surprising that OP hasn't cut contact with this "friend" yet.

TheBookOfTormund, glutenphobia

OP really has to find better friends — people who do not compare her child's skin color to tea, bread, or Pantones.

IFeelMoiGerbil

Understanding the emotional dynamics in racial discussions can help individuals navigate complex situations more effectively.

Studies show that having open discussions about feelings and expectations can reduce tensions and foster understanding.

Encouraging honest communication can create a supportive environment where individuals feel safe expressing their thoughts.

"It's using items linked with oppression to now categorize them to the white gaze."

IFeelMoiGerbil

Not only did they feel proud enough to suggest this game out loud, but they also defended why it wasn't racist when OP cried foul.

IFeelMoiGerbil

OP has no obligation to educate her adult friends on how not to be racist.

glutenphobia

The Role of Empathy in Racial Dialogues

Empathy plays a critical role in resolving conflicts that arise during discussions about race and identity.

Research from the University of Toronto indicates that empathetic engagement can reduce defensiveness and promote constructive dialogue.

Encouraging empathy within these conversations can foster stronger connections and healthier interactions.

Will OP and her British Indian partner hold up the Dulux paint chart to their child to find out who guessed the skin color right? I have a feeling they're not going to be comfortable with that. Just a feeling.

purrrrfect2000

OP's British Indian partner voiced their discomfort about the game, and they still didn't listen.

[deleted]

A traditional and boring baby shower would be a better plan than what OP's friends came up with.

whyyougottaknow_man, sharksarentsobad

To navigate these complex dynamics, fostering open dialogue about feelings and concerns can promote understanding and collaboration.

Research indicates that having discussions about personal experiences can enhance empathy and reduce defensiveness.

Creating an environment where individuals feel heard can lead to healthier interactions.

Her "friend" who concocted this game refuses to admit how wrong she was. The bonus is that OP now knows who she should keep in her and her child's life moving forward.

u/glutenphobia

Racism and colorism are so prevalent that OP's unborn child has already been subjected to them. There was no excuse for the very blatant racist game OP's friends planned to hold.

Betting on a child's skin color using the same paint chart you use to decide what color your tea or coffee should be is so sinister. OP and her partner have a duty to keep their child far away from these (former) friends of hers.

Understanding the Impact of Racial Identity

Racial identity significantly influences how individuals experience and respond to discussions about race.

A study from Yale University highlights how differing perspectives can create misunderstandings and conflicts in conversations.

Recognizing these dynamics can help individuals approach discussions with greater awareness and sensitivity.

Encouraging mutual respect and understanding within discussions about race is essential for maintaining healthy dialogues.

Research indicates that fostering open communication can strengthen bonds and reduce misunderstandings.

Creating an environment where individuals feel valued and respected can promote healthier interactions and decision-making.

Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights the emotional complexities involved in discussions about race and identity. Recognizing the need for empathy and open communication can help individuals engage more constructively in these conversations.

Encouraging sensitivity and understanding can foster healthier dialogues and promote mutual respect.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Navigating discussions about race and identity can be complex and emotionally charged. When individuals approach these situations with empathy and open communication, they can foster healthier dialogues and reduce conflict.

Understanding emotional dynamics, encouraging honest discussions, and fostering mutual respect are essential strategies for navigating these challenges successfully.

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, discussions about identity and race require careful consideration and sensitivity. Research underscores the importance of fostering inclusive dialogues that respect individual experiences and challenge stereotypes. By promoting awareness and understanding, we can create healthier environments for all individuals.