This Babysitter Called The Police On A No-Show Mom And The Mom Is Furious About It
This is a tough situation, but how would you handle it?
Babysitters honestly have to put up with a lot. Depending on the relationship they have with the family, being a babysitter can be a really tough experience.
If the kids don’t like or respect you, it can be really hard to build a strong relationship with them, and sometimes the parents think they can get away with treating you badly. What is more, it is highly likely that, as a babysitter, you do not get paid all that well.
Childcare is something that not a lot of people want to pay a lot of money for, even though the person is literally looking after your pride and joy—your actual child—so babysitters often get taken advantage of. Parents are not always overly communicative, and they do not always return on time or leave adequate activities or instructions for their kids.
If you are lucky, though, you are able to build a really strong and ongoing relationship with the kids and their parents, which makes babysitting fun for everyone involved (parents, children, and the babysitter) as well as easy and stress-free for you. Unfortunately, this is the story of a babysitter who was sick of being taken advantage of and had to resort to drastic measures.
The post appears on Reddit's "Am I the Asshole?" thread and is titled "AITA for calling the police on my client?"
Posted by u/Electronic_Professor:
"I (28F) do babysitting on the weekends to make some extra cash. There is one family I definitely should've phased out by now, but the kids are cute, and if I don't have another job, it's easy money. My issue is that the mom is never home on time." "She used to not give me return times, but finally, I started asking, as it made it impossible to get anything done on the weekends. I'd go babysit so she could go to 'brunch,' but she'd be gone from 11 AM to 7 PM. My whole day was gone. After that, she'd start giving me times but never stick to them. She wouldn't even call to tell me; she'd just stay out." "On Saturday, I got to her house at 6, and she was supposed to be home by 9. I told her she needed to be on time because I had plans to go out with friends. I was even getting ready at their house after I put the kids to bed.She promised. Of course, 9:00 rolls around, and she's not home. I call her—no response. I text her—no response. Another hour. Nothing. Still calling and texting. Finally, it is midnight. By this point, my plans are long ruined, but I'm pissed and exhausted." "I call her and leave a voicemail saying if she's not home in the next hour, I'm considering the kids abandoned and calling the cops. I also text her this. I try calling her 30 minutes later, and it goes to voicemail on the second ring. I text her again, and she leaves me on read. If she had reached out saying, 'Hey, I'm staying out until x time,' I would've stayed. I don't know any of her family nor the father of the kids, so I can't call them." "I gave her a grace period of 15 minutes and tried calling again, finally calling the cops (non-emergency line). They showed up, and I showed our agreement in text from earlier in the week confirming that she'd be home by 9. They tried contacting her, but she didn't answer. I was dismissed, and they took the children to the police station. I went home and went to bed." "I was awoken at 3 AM by a frantic call. It's her. Where are the kids? Why am I not there? I tell her I followed through on my threat; check the police station. She cursed me out, I hung up, and went to bed." "The next day, she sends me an essay saying the kids' father was called and that there's a DCF investigation launched against her. She called me every name under the sun, but I didn't think I was wrong until I spoke to a friend with kids. She said I should've just waited it out and refused to ever sit for her again. She asked if her potentially losing her kids was worth me being petty."So, what do we think? Is this being petty, or a valid cause for alarm?
NTA.One thing I’ve learned from true crime is that the 'wait 24 hours to file a missing person' thing is a myth. She wasn’t where she said she’d be when she said, and she wasn’t responding to any communication. She was, in fact, a missing person at that point:It isn't just a one-off; it is constant behavior
3 is basically 9 if you put your watch on upside down.Obvious sarcasm. She has a pattern of leaving her kids without making proper arrangements for care and staying out of contact to avoid her responsibilities. It’s entirely possible they’re being left or ignored in other ways. If this affects her custody, that’s probably for the best.Edit: without making proper arrangements. Sigh.What if something had gone really wrong?
I can only imagine one of the kids having a severe allergic reaction to something or some home accident, and OP having to head to the hospital with them, with all the calls going unanswered. What a terrifying situation that would be. And then the mom would blow up the phone at 3 AM asking where they are.If she were a good mother, then she would have nothing to worry about!
Well, she left her on read, so she's getting the messages. She's just abusing OP's patience and thought she'd never follow through with calling the police. She came home at 3 AM after promising to be home by 9? No excuse for that.If she's a good mother otherwise, she won't lose her kids, but she'll probably be checked in to make sure she's being responsible. If she's doing other stuff that's problematic, it's fair, and dad should know about it. Imagine how it's going to be for the kids when they figure out that mom is supposed to be home but blows off for hours with no contact despite promises to be home.It was nuclear, but OP is NTA for sure.So many issues here!
Came here to say this. As a single parent, there are several things that are red flags:- Lack of response.
- WTF as a parent am I doing that I'm not responding to my sitter?
- Seriously, WTF was she doing to not be home until 3 AM? (Even on a date night/hookup, you are checking the phone to make sure everything is okay.)
This is how a responsible parent handles a real emergency
I babysat a lot in high school and college.I once had someone late by seven hours in an emergency—7 AM instead of midnight. But that was like an actual emergency. The mom was a single mom, and her sister was in a bad car accident. She needed to be at the hospital since she and her sister didn’t have any other family.But even so, she called me right away, explained the situation, and then told me if I couldn't stay, she would try to figure something out. I was a college student, and it was a Saturday. I had no problem staying long.The kids were already asleep. The mom told me I could sleep in the guest room since she didn't know how long it would be.When she finally got back, she paid me for all the hours and insisted on giving me an extra $100.OP gave an update
According to her, she was ignoring my calls, and since I didn't know where she was going (she just said she was going to dinner with friends), the police couldn't search for her, just call her. Eventually, she came home and saw no one was there. Exactly! This comes down to the mom making irresponsible choices.- Ignoring her childcare's communication (several times).
- Whatever she was doing to begin with that had her out until 3 AM. (Single parents definitely need time to themselves but need to 'plan' it the right way.)
So, what do you think? Who is the bad person in this situation?
Is it the babysitter, who, while admittedly taking an extreme solution, was sick of being taken advantage of, not communicated with, and realized that this mom was not worth the stress? Or is it the mom, who ignored her phone, constantly returns home late, and does not seem to have a lot of respect for the babysitter?
It is an extremely tough situation, and it can be hard to know what to do. But there is no doubt that this mom was definitely in the wrong here.
What would you have done? Tell us in the comments, or find the whole thread over on Reddit.
