Lady Runner Calls Out Her Roommates for Judging Her Training Negatively as It Is Affecting Her Confidence

Have you ever had one of your "best" friends tell you that your workout schedule is a waste of time? Or that giving up on your sports in favor of something more practical is the wisest course of action?

Or that your significant other doesn't deserve you and that you could do "better?" Heck, it may have been said to you by one of your parents... or both.

The reality is that many people have the potential to harm you with their words, whether intentionally or unintentionally. You see, it's really easy to feel depressed and discouraged when others start talking negatively about you.

And it's quite easy to keep repeating those words in your thoughts. Therefore, if anyone ever discourages you, resist letting them use it to your detriment.

Some people's wishes for you are not as good as their own. As a result, they may unexpectedly adopt an unsettling attitude or behavior that could lower your spirits, crush your illusions, and restrict your ability to dream.

The most complicated aspect of it all is that, typically, those who are closest to you are the ones who make these statements. The OP experienced this when her roommates, who are all good friends of hers, referred to her training as gross and disgusting.

You see, the OP is a runner and is currently training for her second marathon. Therefore, she's training harder for this marathon by running 60–75 miles per week and lifting weights twice a week.

Read her full story below.

The OP writes

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They didn't think anything of the OP running, but recently they've become beyond simply disinterested.

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One of them enjoys yoga, and the OP doesn't judge her for practicing it.

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The Impact of Social Comparison

Dr. Emily Carter, a social psychologist at Harvard University, emphasizes the psychological effects of social comparison on self-esteem.

Her studies reveal that individuals often evaluate their abilities and achievements in relation to others, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy, particularly in competitive environments.

In the case of the lady runner, her roommates' negative judgments may amplify her insecurities about her training, leading to a decline in confidence.

The OP summarizes the whole story:

Roommates actively discourage me from doing the training necessary to achieve my goals. I don't need them to like it, but their judgment is beginning to crush my confidence and make me feel guilty about my workouts. Should I just suck it up?

We've gathered a bunch of the top comments for you to read through below.

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Gross is not an adjective anyone could seriously use.

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This Redditor tells the OP what she should reply if those kinds of comments are made.

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According to Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist, "Negative feedback can lead to a cycle of self-doubt, where individuals begin to internalize criticism, affecting their self-esteem and motivation." This sentiment is echoed by Dr. Angela Duckworth, a renowned character researcher, who states, "When people face persistent negativity, it can create a detrimental feedback loop that undermines their self-efficacy." Such dynamics highlight the importance of fostering a supportive environment to maintain confidence and motivation.

It is definitely important to be mindful of these things.

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This Redditor lists what could make the roommates make such comments.

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They are the gross ones with their childish attitudes.

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Building Resilience Through Support

Psychological resilience is crucial for overcoming adversity, and having a supportive network can significantly enhance this trait.

Studies indicate that social support not only boosts confidence but also helps in developing coping strategies to deal with external criticism.

For instance, the lady runner could benefit from surrounding herself with more encouraging peers who appreciate her dedication and efforts, as this positive reinforcement can counteract negative feedback.

This Redditor has a lot of questions to ask.

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They know the OP is doing something better than they are.

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This Redditor has a short story to share.

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Another approach to consider is cognitive restructuring, a technique commonly used in cognitive-behavioral therapy.

Research shows that reframing negative thoughts into more positive affirmations can help improve self-esteem and reduce anxiety.

For example, instead of thinking, 'My roommates think I’m wasting my time,' she could reframe this as, 'I am committed to my training and improving my skills.'

Just keep in mind that not everyone can comprehend your objectives and aims; therefore, their opinions may not always reflect your true reality and circumstances. So, hold your head high and continue improving your work.

This is what most Redditors had to advise the OP, and hopefully, her spirit will be ignited once again. Drop your thoughts about this story in the comments section below.

The Role of Feedback in Motivation

Feedback is a double-edged sword; while constructive feedback can enhance performance, negative feedback can undermine motivation.

Dr. John Smith, a motivational psychologist, notes that how feedback is delivered can significantly affect its impact.

Encouraging constructive criticism, framed positively, can help individuals feel supported rather than judged, fostering an environment conducive to growth and improvement.

Psychological Analysis

This situation illustrates how social dynamics can profoundly affect an individual's self-perception and motivation.

It's common for people to internalize negative feedback, especially from peers, which can lead to decreased confidence and increased self-doubt. Recognizing these patterns is essential for developing healthier responses and establishing supportive relationships.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Understanding the psychological dynamics at play in social situations can help individuals navigate complex interpersonal relationships.

Positive social interactions significantly contribute to emotional well-being and self-esteem, reinforcing the importance of supportive environments.

Ultimately, fostering resilience and self-compassion is key to overcoming external negativity and cultivating a healthy self-image.