Best Friend Betrays Me with Relationship Advice: AITA for Setting Boundaries?

A 28-year-old woman refused to just “take the hint” when her best friend, Sarah, pushed her toward a longtime crush, Alex. For over a decade, they were the kind of friends who swapped relationship updates like it was daily weather, always supportive, always close.

Then Sarah went from hype woman to plot twist. She convinced OP to make a move, insisting Alex was into her, and OP actually confessed. Instead of a happy ending, Alex rejected her and admitted he had feelings for Sarah the whole time.

Now OP is stuck replaying every “go for it” moment, wondering if Sarah’s relationship advice was really friendship, or just a long con.

Original Post

So I'm (28F) and have been friends with Sarah (29F) for over a decade. We've always talked about our romantic relationships, supported each other, and leaned on one another for advice.

However, things took a turn when Sarah convinced me to pursue my longtime crush, Alex. She assured me he was into me, and I should go for it.

Fast forward to me confessing my feelings to Alex, and he not only rejects me but also confesses his feelings for Sarah. I was devastated.

Turns out, she knew all along he liked her too but didn't tell me because she wanted him for herself. I felt betrayed and hurt by Sarah's actions.

It seemed like she valued her potential relationship with Alex more than our friendship. I confronted her about it, telling her how her advice led to this mess and that I needed space to process everything.

Sarah was defensive, claiming she didn't owe me anything and that I should have seen the signs myself. She accused me of being selfish for expecting her to prioritize my feelings over her happiness.

Now, Sarah is trying to reach out, saying she misses our friendship, but I'm still hurt by what happened. I'm torn between forgiving her and moving on or cutting ties for good.

So AITA?

Trust in Question

This story illustrates how fragile trust can be in friendships, especially when feelings are involved. The OP’s request for her best friend, Sarah, to stop giving relationship advice isn’t just a simple boundary-setting move; it’s a reaction to feeling betrayed. After years of shared experiences and emotional support, Sarah’s advice backfiring must feel like a breach of loyalty. The OP likely expected Sarah to have her back, not lead her into a painful situation.

When a friend positions themselves as a relationship guru, it’s understandable to expect their guidance to be genuine. This situation flips that expectation on its head, stirring deep emotions and prompting readers to reflect on their own friendships and the trust that underpins them.

Comment from u/sparkling_dreamer

Comment from u/beachbum_87

Comment from u/daisy_chainz

That “go for it” push from Sarah is where the trust cracks, because OP didn’t just take a vibe, she took a leap with Alex.</p>

The Complications of Advice

What’s particularly compelling about this scenario is how easily relationship advice can backfire. The OP turned to Sarah for help, which indicates a level of vulnerability and trust. But when that advice leads to a shocking betrayal, it raises questions about accountability in friendships. Did Sarah truly have the OP’s best interests at heart, or was she projecting her own unresolved issues onto the OP’s situation?

This moral grey area complicates the dynamic, making it difficult for readers to determine who’s in the right. It’s a situation many can relate to, where advice can be tinged with personal bias, leading to unintended consequences.

Comment from u/music_lover1990

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Comment from u/sunshine_sparkles

When Alex confessed his feelings for Sarah right after OP’s rejection, it made Sarah’s earlier certainty feel less like guidance and more like sabotage.</p>

It’s a lot like the AITA where a friend’s relationship advice crossed the line, and boundaries were the fight.

Community Reactions

The Reddit community's reaction to this story reveals just how divided people can be on matters of friendship and boundaries. Others might argue that friendships should withstand such challenges and that Sarah deserves a chance to explain herself.

This dichotomy highlights the complexity of human relationships. It’s not just about the betrayal itself, but how each party interprets their roles and responsibilities. That makes this discussion resonate deeply, prompting readers to assess their own friendships and the potential for misunderstandings.

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Comment from u/random_thinker_78

OP confronts Sarah, and Sarah fires back with the classic line, she didn’t owe OP anything, even though she absolutely knew the truth about Alex.</p>

The Burden of Expectations

What stands out in this story is the weight of expectations placed on friends, especially in matters of the heart. The OP likely looked to Sarah not just as a friend, but as someone who understood her deeply and could offer sound advice. When that expectation crumbles, it can feel devastating.

Readers may empathize with the OP’s shock and hurt, understanding that friendship often comes with unspoken agreements around support and loyalty. In a world where relationships can feel precarious, this story raises a crucial question: how do we navigate the fine line between seeking help and risking vulnerability?

Comment from u/reddit_obsessed

Now Sarah is trying to slide back into best-friend mode, saying she misses the friendship, while OP is stuck deciding if forgiveness is the same as letting it happen again.</p>

What do you think about this situation? Let us know in the comments.

This story serves as a reminder of how trust is not just given; it’s earned and can be easily lost. The OP’s experience with Sarah prompts us to think about the complexities of friendship and the responsibilities we have toward one another. Have you ever confronted a betrayal in a close friendship? How did you handle it, and what lessons did you take away? This situation resonates because it challenges us to consider the delicate balance between support and self-preservation in our relationships.

The Bigger Picture

In this story, the betrayal felt by the OP after Sarah's manipulative advice showcases the fragility of trust in friendships, especially when romantic interests are involved. Sarah's actions, driven by her own desires for Alex, highlight a selfishness that contradicts the very essence of friendship. It's no wonder the OP feels the need to establish boundaries; she sought guidance from someone she believed had her best interests at heart, only to discover that wasn't the case. This situation serves as a poignant reminder of how easily loyalty can be tested in complex emotional landscapes.

OP’s not mad about dating, she’s mad that her best friend used her feelings like a shortcut to her own.

Want more “betrayal” fallout, read how someone confronted a best friend over rumors at work in this AITA about friendship betrayals.